


Fairy Tale Love Story

by ShameInYou



Series: Layne Staley and Shannon Hoon [12]
Category: Alice in Chains
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, High School, M/M, Rape, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:15:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 57,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShameInYou/pseuds/ShameInYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shannon's Issues</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

I closed my eyes as he leaned down and kissed me. I opened my mouth, letting his tongue slide in my mouth. I knew he liked that. I just wanted this to be over with as quickly as possible. I sighed as he pushed his tongue against mines. His mouth tasted like tobacco. He constantly chewed that stuff. He littered my mother's home with cups full of the tar he would spit out and he wouldn't pick up after himself. He was disgusting.

He ran his calloused hands up and down the sides of my body. I shivered. It wouldn't be long. He would do what he needed to do and be on his way. This was getting addictive to him. He was starting to do this every few days. I don't know how much more of this I could take. He reached up and pinched my nipple. He did that on purpose. I let out a light groan as he pressed his tongue against mines. I had no choice but to press mines back against his. He was intimidating. There was no telling what he would do to me if I didn't pretend like I was into this.

He pulled away, looking into my eyes. I wasn't even scared anymore. I had my hair pulled back into a tight ponytail bun. I think that's what made him come onto me today. He looked down and I looked too. His erection was sticking straight out. I was semi hard myself. I blushed and put my hand over my crotch. I couldn't help it, my body betrayed my mind most of the time. I knew what I had to do. I sat on the edge of the bed. He stood in front of me. I looked up at him, my brows furrowed slightly. He wanted to do fucking foreplay. Just great. God I hoped it wouldn't be long until he came. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, leaning forward and taking him into my mouth. I sucked the tip into my mouth. He immdietaly put his hand on the back of my head, shoving me forward. I had almost became accustomed to this. I whimpered as his dick slammed into my throat before I was ready. I started choking around his length. He chuckled lightly like it was some kind of game. This wasn't gonna be pretty today.

I tried to pull away but his grip on my head was too strong. I struggled underneath his touch, his cock sliding in my throat, my eyes watering, my mouth drooling around his length as I choked. It was as if he liked seeing this reaction from me. My face was becoming red. I felt lightheaded. Was this how I was going to die? Being choked to death by a cock? Just when I thought all was lost, he ripped my head back. I gasped for air, spit coming out of my mouth and on my chin. I coughed and gagged. I felt sick. His skin sickened me. I turned my head and I gagged as I coughed. I quickly shimmied up the bed, leaning over the side of the bed and throwing up in the trash can that was beside the bed.

Big mistake that was, I had my ass in the air and I knew he was looking at it.

I wiped my mouth with my arm, looking back at him. He was looking at me lustfully. Oh god why could'nt he just leave me alone, I was so sick of this shit.

"Get back over here!" He demanded.

I sighed and crawled back over, sitting back on the edge of the bed. He started jerking off right in my face. I looked up at him, my brows furrowed. I could feel the lump forming in my throat. Why was he doing this? I turned my head as my chin started quivering.

"Hey, look at me boy! Don't you fucking cry!" He yelled at me.

I tried my best as I slowly turned my head, face to face with his erection. He was getting close, I could tell. I didn't want his bodily fluids on me. I wanted him to get away from me. I couldn't hold it in as I sobbed. Once again I betrayed myself and my shoulders shook and I let out a sob, tears pouring down my face as I looked down.

When I looked back up, his fist collided with my eye. I held my face and sobbed. That fucking shit hurt and I was powerless under him. If I fought back, he'd probably kill me.

"I told you to stop fucking crying. Now look at me you little fucking bitch!" He yelled at me.

I shakly looked at his cock again. That's what he meant by looking at him. He started groaning. I knew he would be close. I cried out as he shot his load right in my face, my eyes falling closed. I shuddered as I felt the hot liquid hit my face. I felt disgusting. I heard him laugh. I hated him.

I wiped my face and opened my eyes, looking up at him.

"Touch yourself." He ordered.

My lip quivered as I slowly reached my hand down to my cock, and ran it up and down my length, his cum still on my hand. I had to get lost in my mind. I had to shut everything off so I could do this for him.

"Slide up the bed." He ordered.

I opened my eyes and followed orders, I didn't want to get hit again. I laid against the pillows, my hair was disheveled, but still in the bun. I had my legs spread. He was practically drooling as he watched me. I was absolutely humiliated, having myself exposed like this.

"Don't stop, keep touching yourself." He said.

I sighed shakily and lay back against the pillows, closing my eyes as I continued to run my hand down my length. I could hear him rambling obscenities as he watched me.

I got lost in my own mind. I bit my lip and smiled. It was starting to feel good to me. As sick and twisted as this situation was, I couldn't fuck up. I imagined myself with someone who actually cared about me. Someone who was actually my age. I wanted them to have long hair. I couldn't see their face but I could see my own as I grinded against them, maybe under the bleachers at school. I could feel myself getting close. I sighed lightly as I felt my load shoot out, right onto the bed. I heard his voice.

"Fuck yeah!" He muttered.

I finally opened my eyes to see him, jerking off once again. My smile faded. This nightmare wasn't over yet. He instructed me to turn over. I slowly followed orders, grabbing the pillows and putting them under me. I buried my face into the bed as I felt him come near me. I felt a cold, wet finger shove into my anus. He wasn't even gentle when he did this to me. At least he had the decency to use some kind of lubricant. It always hurt anyway.

I sighed as he finger fucked me, just laying there. I was dead weight. I was just taking it. I closed my eyes tight as I felt him straddle me. I clenched my fists as I felt him push his cock into my ass.

I sobbed lightly into the bed as he fucked me. He was making all sorts of noises. He was absolutely disgusting. He was a sick fucking man. I was a prisoner here. How did it come to this? I couldn't let him hear me cry, he might hit me.

I just lay there, not moving, not making any sounds. I looked up and over on the nightstand. I looked at the photo that was on there. It was a picture of me and my mother. Mom was so good to me. I loved my mom. I smiled a little as I looked at us. A small peice of solice in my fucked up life at the moment.

My smile quickly faded as reality hit. He was hurting me, this burned, the friction burned. He always hurt me. I fucking hated myself. I hated myself for letting it get this far. I hated myself for not speaking up. It was too late now. I was going to be a prisoner under this guy for the rest of my teenage life. If I tried to run away, he could find me.

I internally praised god when I heard his moans get louder. He was going to cum, it was going to be over. He groaned and held onto my hips so tight that I think he might have left bruises. A few hard thrusts later and he pulled out of my cavity. I relaxed and just laid there, my face on the bed.

I heard him get up. I heard him shuffling around. He must have gotten dressed.

"Get up and get your ass to school!" He exclaimed.

Great, he thought he could fucking rape me and then tell me what the fuck to do. I just lay there, listening to him walk around the house, glasses clinking, papers shuffling. I finally turned over when I heard the front door close and a car start and drive off.

I looked up at the ceiling and started to cry. His scent was all over me. He stunk. I fucking hated it.

I was only 17 years old.

He was engaged to my mom. He nearly 20 years older then me. The same dick he stuck in my mother, he was sticking in me. The thought sickened me. I sat up quickly and leaned over again, gagging but nothing came out. I stuck my finger down my throat and forced something to come out. I needed to purge. I needed to cleanse myself.

I shakily got up and walked into their bathroom. I scratched my skin hard as I turned on the spray. I used my mom's bodywash. I wanted nothing of his on my skin. I had the water as hot as it would go, my skin red as I scrubbed myself raw, as hard as I could, I made scratches all over my skin.

My body was a temple and something was stolen from me. I cried in the shower. I hated my life.

Normal kids my age were out having fun. They were out hanging out. I was here, stuck in my own private hell and I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't ruin my mom's life. My mom was so happy with this guy. Mom had been through alot with my real dad. I just didn't want to ruin mom's life.

After I finally turned the spray off, I stood there, hugging myself. My hair covered my shoulders. Water dripped from the tip of my nose to the floor.

I was broken. I was safe in my own skin. I didn't want to continue living this way. If I spoke up, people's lives would be ruined. I was 17 years old and I was carrying this weight on my shoulders. I didn't want to be the one who ruined everyones lives.

If I removed myself from the earth, then everyone would be better off. What did I have going for me anyway? Nothing. No one could help me, no one knew my pain.

I was having pretty deep thoughts to be only 17. I had no friends at my school. They were all immature. They hadn't seen the world as I had seen it. They were so happy and carefree. They had no idea what they were in store for. It wasn't gonna be pretty.

My mind was set. I walked into my mom's bedroom. I opened her double door closet. I grabbed one of her belts and wrapped it around my neck. My heart raced. I was a waste. I was a waste of human space. I had nothing to offer the world. I was tired of being someone's fucking tool. I had lived so much in my 17 years, I didn't need to live any longer. It was now or never.

I pulled the belt tight. I started sweating. I couldn't chicken out, this was the only way. I moved one of her boxes under the railing in the closet. I shakily stood on it, wrapping the other end of the belt around the railing.

I shut my eyes tight, tears pouring down my face. This was it. I was going to die today. I was going to set myself free of this private hell.

Just do it.

I stepped off of the box, kicking it to the side as I did so. I gagged a bit as I did so. I tugged on the belt to make sure the rack was sturdy. It was secure to the wall. It would be able to hold my weight. I just did it.

I bent my knees under me, letting myself hang as I held onto the belt. I could feel my throat closing. I could feel my breath ceasing. I couldn't breath. My eyes were glazing over. I gasped for breath. It was sweet bliss for me. This is what I wanted. I wanted to die.

I started feeling lightheaded. It wouldn't be long now. I bent my knees back as far as I could. The next thing I know is I blacked out as the railing in the closet gave in, everything fell on top of me.

I think I just died.

* * *

I sat in the psychologist's office. I had my arms crossed. I wouldn't make eye contact. This was bullshit. I was supposed to be dead. I still had the red marks around my neck from where I had the belt wrapped around it.

My mom had come home shortly after I had blacked out. She found me in her closet, my legs sticking out the door, the railing and a bunch of clothes over top of me, the belt wrapped around my neck.

My worst nightmare was coming true. Shit had hit the fan. Peoples lives were gonna be ruined because of me.

"Shannon, It's imperative that you cooperate. We need to find out who did this to you. Can you please tell me what happened?" The doctor asked me softly.

I frowned, eyes filling with tears as I looked to the side. The fucking doctors at the hospital had realized that I had been "anally penetrated" when they examined me. They act as if I'm some stupid little kid. They talked about me to each other while I was in the room, conscious. Now I was here. They were trying to figure me out. Fuck authority.

"Shannon, you need to speak up. What if the person who did this to you does it to someone else? You can save a life here." The doctor spoke up again.

I sniffled, frowning, arms crossed as I sat there, still silent.

The doctor sighed and she got up. I looked up at her and watched her walk out. Wow, she had given up so easily. Why did I have to fucking be here?

A few minutes later, the doctor returned with mom. Oh no. Don't fucking do this to me lady.

Mom came up to me, tears in her eyes. She sat in front of me, the doctor sitting back in her chair.

"Shannon baby, I love you so much." Mom said looking into my eyes.

My face scrunched up as I felt the tears pour down my cheeks. My beautiful mom. She was too nice. I didn't want to ruin her soul.

"Love you too mom." I mumbled.

"Shannon, please speak to the doctor. You're safe honey, no one can bother you here. Please tell us who did this. I want them to pay for taking your innocence away. Shannon it won't get better until you tell someone what happened. Honey I was so afraid I had lost you. Shannon if you died, I would die. Please honey, please speak up." Mom was crying.

Just great. Fucking great. Sent my mom in here as a guilt tactic. I did feel guilty. Mom was the only person in the world who cared about me. I sobbed as she hugged me, kissing my temple.

They sat there staring at me. I wiped my eyes and put my long hair behind my ears.

"I'll speak, but I want you to wait outside mom." I said looking down.

"Of course, anything as long as we can get to the bottom of this!" Mom said.

She kissed my forehead and turned and walked out, closing the door behind her.

"Shannon, who did this?" The doctor asked.

I looked up at her.

"My mom's boyfriend." I mumbled.

"Come again?" She said, eyes furrowed, leaning forward.

"I said my mom's boyfriend. He raped me."

I said it out loud. My ears were hot.

"Was this a one time thing?" The doctor asked.

"No." I said, looking down at my hands.

"You mean, this has been going on?" She asked.

"Yes." I said softly.

"How long has this been going on Shannon?"

"I don't know, about a year." I said looking down at my hands.

"One Year? Why didn't you tell someone?" The doctor asked, surprised.

I shrugged. "Iunno" I mumbled.

"So the abuse started when you were 16?"

"Yeah." I said barely audible, looking down at my hands.

"Your mom says she noticed a change in you. You used to play sports and be involved in school? Now you mostly stay in your room and you hardly go anywhere. This is the reason isn't it?" She asked.

"I guess." I said, slumping back in my chair. Her questions were getting annoying.

"Shannon. I'm gonna need to know what kind of things he did to you. Do you think you could tell me? It's imperative that you give me this information."

I looked at her, brows furrowed.

"Shannon, we need to know so we can file a police report." She replied.

My heart started racing. Lives were going to be ruined! I thought about my mother...her life was already ruined knowing that someone had violated me.

I sighed.

"Where do I start?" I asked, more to myself than anything.

"Take all the time you need." The doctor said.

I was ready to get the fuck out of here.

"Um. I always knew I was gay." I started.

The doctor looked at me and nodded intently.

"Um, well, I started having weird feelings around that time..." I stammered.

This was weird, this was personal.

"Can you tell me what happened to prompt the abuse? How long had he been living with you and your mom?" She pressed.

"Well, he had just moved in, but he was dating my mom before that. I would see him occasionally. He really freaked me out honestly. He would hug me and he would linger in the hugs. I didn't think anything of it. He liked to touch my hair. It freaked me out." I shuddered at the memory.

There was silence and then I spoke again.

"One day, I scored a porno magazine. I stole it from a store. It was a queer mag you know? I had so much pent out feelings inside of me, I needed to explore myself, you know? So I went home. I thought I was home alone. I opened it you know, started looking at it. One thing led to another....I had my pants down...I was....um..."

I was silent and made an obscene gesture.

"I understand. Continue." The doctor said warmly.

"I was into it. I was moaning. I could see myself in those poses that the guys were in the magazine. I figured myself out at that very moment. Then I heard my door open. I pulled my pants up as quick as I could and just sat there. I had gotten caught. I looked up and it was him." I sighed.

"He walked over to me. It was so weird. He grabbed my magazine, he looked at it, he yelled at me. The next thing I know, he's kneeling down, he's looking into my face. He's kissing me. This man, kissing this teenage boy. I'm still a fucking kid! I had never experienced anything like that. I didn't know what to do. His hand was in my pants, he was touching me!"

My chest heaved up and down. I could see the whole scene around me. I burst out crying, covering my face with my hands. The doctor rushed over and wrapped her arms around me, trying to console me.

"It's not your fault Shannon. You didn't ask for this to happen to you. It's not your fault."

"After that, it was a weekly thing. At times he would stop for a while, but then come right back. He did everything to me. I was his playground. He scares me. He hit me. If I didn't pretend like I was into it, he would hit me." I sobbed.

The doctor held onto me. She went back over to her desk after a while and wrote some stuff down.

"My mom's life is gonna be ruined. She has no idea I'm gay. She has no idea that he's done this to me. She loves that guy..." I cried.

"Shannon this is good you're coming forward with this. What if he tried to hurt your mother next? He's not gonna do this anymore to you Shannon. I'll see to it."

"So you tried to commit suicide. Explain to me why?" She asked.

I was irritated.

"I just told you!" I exclaimed.

"I see but I just need you to say it again." She said calmly.

"I want to die because I don't want to face what's ahead of me. I want to die because I'm broken. I'm not normal. I hate myself. I feel disgusting." I rambled, sobbing.

"I don't want to ruin my mom's life. I don't want to face this." I sobbed into my hands.

"Shannon, everything will be okay, I promise you. You are a victim here. You will get justice. You can move on from this. You'll see." The doctor assured.

I slumped back in my chair and sighed. Yeah, what did doctors know anyway?

* * *

My life changed drastically after that. I watched my mother fall apart before my eyes. It must have been hell for her to find out that her boyfriend had been raping her son.

Life for me wasn't a picnic either. Sure he had been arrested and all, but just being in that house, where the shit had happened, it was too much for us. I found that repressing memories helped alot, as well as getting high.

Mom made the right decision when she decided to move us far away. Far far away. We were moving to Seattle, Washington to start over. To get away from this hell hole we were living in.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He quickly moved his eye forward as I turned around and looked at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your visuals of what they look like in this story: http://i57.tinypic.com/2llkbp1.png

I was nervous as fuck. Today was my first day at a new school, and in the middle of a fucking school year. It felt weird living in a city. I could walk the blocks to school. I had never experienced anything like that.

I sighed as I looked up at the sign to the school. Meadowdale High School. I was so glad I only had one more year and a half of this shit. I pulled my white beanie out of my pocket with the colorful squares on it and held it with my mouth as I combed my hair back with my fingers, putting it into a bun with the hairband I had around my wrist and then I put my beanie on over my hair and pushed extra strands inside of it.

Now I was ready to begin my new life in this busy place. I sighed and walked inside of the school. I walked to the office, telling them I was new. I was handed a schedule and a nerd led me to my homeroom. I was so glad that I had gotten there early. I fucking hated walking into a full classroom, especially when I was new. I walked up to the teacher and she handed me a book and pointed to a vacant seat.

I walked over and sat down. I had no pencil or paper. Fuck, I knew I had forgotten something. I was too busy smoking pot this morning. I chewed some gum as I sat there looking forward.

As the class filled up, I could feel the eyes on me. Freshblood, I wasn't fucking stupid. I knew how these things worked.

I furrowed my brows as I felt a breeze blow by me. I looked to my left and saw a boy sit down. I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He quickly moved his eye forward as I turned around and looked at him.

He had a smooth baby face, pouty lips and crystal blue eyes. His hair was dark brown and fell on his shoulders in waves. He was wearing a silky teal blue button up shirt and tight black jeans with cute black boots that had studs on them. I turned my head forward. I needed to pay attention. I hadn't even brought any pencil or paper!

I sighed, school was the same all over the country, boring. I tapped my foot and chewed my gum and looked over at the boy again. He was looking at me again. This time he looked right into my eyes. I looked at him, chewing my gum, looking him up and down. What was his problem? Did he have an "eye problem"?

He flipped his hair and looked down, smiling and looking forward again. I smiled a little to myself. The teacher told us to open our books and I followed directions. As soon as I opened my book, a folded piece of paper landed in the seam. I jumped and looked around with a furrowed brow. Everyone was staring into their books. Where the fuck did this come from?

I hesitated and then slowly started unfolding it. The crinkling sound seemed loud as hell to me. I slowly unfolded it and straightened it out and laid it in my book and looked at it.

__  
Do you like boys?  


I furrowed a brow. My heart jumped. I looked up and looked around. I didn't know where this note came from and I didn't have anything to write back with. I scanned the room, my eyes going over the boy. I did a double take, he was looking at me, smiling a little, his eraser between his teeth, his pouty lips curled up slightly.

I blinked and smiled a little. Okay. Alot. It was obvious this was from him.

I shrugged my shoulders and made a writing notion. He understood me. He leaned down and reached in his bag, pulling out a pencil. He reached over and handed it to me. I smiled at him, looking at him out the corner of my eye. I smiled as I wrote my message on the paper.

__  
Yeah. How could you tell?  


I folded it back up normally and waited for the teacher to turn her back as I quickly reached over and slapped it on his desk. I glanced over as he read it, his eyes widening slightly and a big smile creeping over his face.

He started writing a message back and I looked at the front, sighing. This class was boring. The paper was placed on my book.

I woke up and looked over at him. He was staring into his book as if he was shy. I looked down and unfolded the paper.

__  
I don't know, something about your presence. I like boys too you know. My name's Layne. What's yours?  


I smiled to myself. Seems as if I had made a friend already. I really hadn't had any friends back in Indiana. It was a hick town. The city was definitely different.

I pursed my lips together as I wrote my message back.

__  
Shannon.  


I folded it and placed it back on his desk. I didn't write much. I was waiting to see what his intentions of talking to me were. I glanced over as he looked at the paper. He mouthed my name, smiling huge, licking his teeth.

I licked my lips and sat back in my seat, glancing over. He had put the paper back on my desk, giving me a sly smile. Was he being flirty? It sure did seem like it.

I took the paper and opened it.

__  
You're real cute Shannon. I like your hat. We should hang out. What other classes do you have?  


I furrowed my brows. He was very forward. I was intrigued. I looked over at him. He stared down at his book with a smile on his face.

I reached in my pocket and took my schedule out, folding the paper and putting it inside of it and looked out before setting it on his desk. He looked down at it and suddenly as he was doing that, the teacher announced that we were to pair up with people. Before I could even turn around, a desk clashed with mines.

I looked over to see him, a wave of his hair hanging in his face. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Hey, let's work together." He said.

Dayum, his voice was smooth.

"Sure thing, Layne." I said softly, his name rolling off of my tongue.

"Shannon. I really like your name. It's super cute. Shannon." Layne smiled warmly.

Oh god, his nose turned up when he smiled. It was sexy!

"I don't have any paper, I forgot to bring some, could you give me a few sheets?" I asked.

Layne gave me some paper.

"You can keep the pencil too." He smiled.

"Thanks." I said looking in the book, about to get started on the work the teacher assigned us.

"This is too freaky. We have all of the same classes. This is so exciting. We have lunch together too! Your with me all day Shannon!" Layne said excitedly.

I smiled and looked at him. He put my schedule back on my desk.

"So where are you from?" Layne asked as he looked in the book, writing stuff down.

"Oh, I'm from Indiana. Me and my mom just moved here." I replied.

"Interesting. So you're doing the even ones, I'll do the odd ones?" Layne asked about the work.

"Sure." I replied, smiling.

We were silent for a moment and then Layne spoke again.

"Do you like music?" He asked.

"Fuck yeah." I smiled.

"What bands?" Layne asked.

"MMM, Velvet Underground, Lou Reed...Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath...the classics. Guns N Roses, pretty much a mix of different stuff." I smiled.

"Sweet, me too. We seem to have similar music tastes. That is so freaky." Layne smiled, tilting his head, his wavy hair bouncing a bit.

"It's always nice to have a friend who likes the same things you like." I smiled.

"I'm in a band. I'm the singer." Layne chirped.

"Really? That's cool." I smiled.

"Yeah, we're called Sleaze. Maybe you could come to one of our gigs sometimes. Where do you live?" Layne tilted his head.

"Um, I think its called The University District, at the Herond Apartments. It's a few blocks from here." I replied.

"Oh I think I know where that is. I live a few blocks in the other direction, in the Canton neighborhood." Layne smiled.

"Your speaking a different language to me. I've only lived here for a few weeks." I shrugged.

Layne giggled. "I can show you around town."

"Cool. I'd like that." I smiled.

We finished up our questions and sat there. I sat back in my seat and stared down at the paper.

"Do you have a boyfriend Shannon?" Layne asked.

"What?" I asked.

"A boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend?" Layne asked.

I furrowed my brows. "Why do you want to know?" I asked, biting my cheeks so I wouldn't smile.

I saw the expression on his face as he looked down. It was as if he would be crushed if I said yes.

"I don't know. Just wondering..." Layne said looking down.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend." I smiled.

I had just met this guy and he was coming onto me. I saw him smile wide again.

"Neither do I." He said seductively, looking into my eyes.

"Okay." I smiled.

Suddenly the teacher started calling out questions. When she called on us, Layne read our answer. I watched him as he talked. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and he was wearing a necklace.

After that class was over, I walked with him through the halls. He led me to my locker and opened it for me. I put the book inside and closed it and locked it, following him to his locker. I was then introduced to his bandmates, Nick and Yanni. After the little locker meeting, we walked to our next class. Layne had linked his arm in mine. I didn't mind at all.

We walked into class together and Layne took his seat as I walked up to the teacher to get another book. I was about to go take the empty seat at the back but I heard Layne call my name. I walked over to him. He had convinced the person who was sitting beside him to trade seats so I could sit beside him.

"This is so exciting." Layne whispered, smiling wide as I sat beside him.

He put his hand on mines. I could feel the sparks fly when he touched my hand. This boy had a lot of confidence in himself.

We sat there idly as the teacher rambled on. Layne kept looking back at me. This classroom had tables in it rather than desks. Me and Layne shared a table.

"What?" I whispered, smiling.

"I'm just so ready to go. This is boring." Layne smiled.

Yeah right, he was just checking me out.

* * *

At lunch, we did alot of talking, getting to know each other. I didn't really reveal too much about myself, I just let him know that my mom and dad were divorced and I lived with my mom and we were from Indiana, and there was nothing in Indiana. Layne had a whole bunch of stories for me. He was a busy person, in his band playing shows and such. He was very interesting to me. He wanted me to come to his house after school and I agreed. I finally had a friend it seemed.

In our third class, I couldn't sit beside him because the girl beside him refused to give up her seat. He was very pissed about that. I noticed Layne kept looking back at me throughout the whole class, pouting and smiling. He seemed very intrigued by me.

Our last class was the same routine, Layne convincing the person beside him to switch so we could sit together. Layne had been flirting with me all day. I just hadn't acknowledged it yet. We were in a chemistry class so we were back at tables instead of desks. Layne looked at the teacher as she talked. I slid my chair a little close to Layne. I smiled and put my hand on his thigh. It was time for me to flirt back with him since he had been laying it on pretty thick during the day. Layne flinched and looked down, putting his hair behind his ears. He shifted a bit and I kept my hand there. He looked back at me and smiled shyly. He grabbed my hand in his and held it under the table. I smiled to myself. I could feel the tension between us. I wondered what was gonna happen when we went to his house after school.

* * *

I carried Layne's book bag as he led the way to his house. We were still holding hands as we walked down the street. I didn't know what it was all about but I didn't want to stop either.

"So my parents don't get home until later tonight. Their doing something...I forget. My sister's home, but she shouldn't bother us. We'll have plenty of alone time to do homework." Layne smiled as he skipped down the street, holding my hand.

I could feel my stomach turning. I knew damn well we wouldn't be doing any homework. I could see it written all over this boy's face. He had other intentions with me.

"We're almost there." Layne said after a few blocks. We were walking through a nice neighborhood with alot of nice houses and yards.

"So have you ever had a boyfriend before?" Layne asked as we walked.

"MMM...not really." I hesitated.

"Me neither. I've never had one. I can't believe another boy like me is going to my school. I felt so alone until I met you today. Something told me to speak to you, and I'm glad I did." Layne smiled warmly.

"Well I'm flattered at how nice everyone's been around here. This place is totally different from where I'm from." I smiled.

We were finally at Layne's house before I knew it. He unlocked the door and went in. Once I was inside he locked the door back.

"Liz I'm home!" He yelled as we walked to the kitchen.

I heard a voice yell back "Ok!"

Layne's house was huge and clean. Everything was put in place perfectly.

"You hungry?" Layne asked looking in his fridge, pulling out sandwich meat straight from the package and eating it, looking back at me.

I could have sworn he was sticking his ass out more than usual, like he wanted me to notice it.

"Yeah I could use a snack." I smiled.

Layne pulled the whole package out of the fridge and set it on the counter. He fixed two glasses of water and handed me one. We stood there side by side as we ate the sandwich meat straight from the pack, sipping our waters.

Suddenly Layne's sister walked into the kitchen.

"Ew Layne you are so gross...hey, who's your friend?" She frowned and smiled when she saw me.

"This is my friend, Shannon." Layne replied, putting his arm around my waste.

"Hi." I said shyly, waving at her.

"I saw Layne picking at his toes the other day Shannon!" Liz said sticking her tongue out at Layne.

"Shut up Liz! Oh my god! You liar!" Layne blushed.

I chuckled to myself as Liz laughed and walked out.

"She is so embarrassing. She loves to embarrass me. She's crazy!" Layne's face was so red.

"It's okay..." I smiled, not really knowing what to say. I was an only child.

We finished off the meat and waters and Layne threw the carton in the trash.

"C'mon, let's go up to my room." He said.

I followed behind him up the stairs as we made our way up to his bedroom. I kicked my shoes and socks off when we got in his room and he did the same. I looked around. He shut the door and locked it behind us. His room was so cool. He had band posters everywhere. He had a nice big bed. He had a desk with papers on it. He had a phone in his room, and a tv and an atari! Layne's room was a dream! All I had in my room at the present moment was a mattress. Not even a bedframe. I certainly had no electronics. Mom was still trying to find a job, she couldn't afford it!

"Your room is so cool." I smiled.

"Thanks. Um, should we get started on the homework?" Layne said shyly.

"I guess." I said.

I took my beanie off, taking my frizzy hair out of the bun and shaking my head, running my fingers through my long hair. When I opened my eyes, Layne was staring at me, his fingers on his lips.

"What?" I asked, smiling, putting my hair behind me ears.

"You've got long hair. I so didn't know. How'd you fit all that hair under that hat?" Layne asked.

"I dunno." I smiled.

"Shannon you are so hot." Layne said bluntly.

"Um. Thanks I guess." I smiled, shoving my hands in my pocket.

The next thing I know, Layne jumped on me, pressing his lips to mines.

"MMM...mmm! Stop!" I exclaimed, pushing him away.

He was breathing hard, eyes half lidded, looking at me with a sadness in his eyes.

"Layne, what the hell?" I asked.

"I fucking like you Shannon. I fucking like you a lot. You're the only other gay boy at my school. Me and you, we need to stick together. I just ruined things between us didn't I? I'm so sorry, I'm so lame. I can walk you home if you wanna leave. I'm sorry..." Layne rambled, turning away from me, putting his hand on his forehead.

"Hey wait, no, I'm not mad. It's just, have you ever kissed before? You were smashing my face..." I said softly, putting my hand on his shoulder.

He turned around and looked at me. He shook his head. His pout was such a fucking turn on.

"You like me? I didn't know that..." I said sarcastically, putting my hands on his waist.

"You could tell? I'm such a loser..." He said looking down.

"No you're not. Layne I kinda like you too. Things seem to be moving fast. You need to slow down." I smiled.

Layne looked at me, pouting.

"I can show you how to kiss. Open your mouth like this." I replied, closing my eyes and opening my mouth slightly, my tongue sitting at the entrance of my mouth.

I opened my eyes and watched Layne do it.

"I like being gentle. I don't like that rough kissing." I muttered before pressing my mouth to his.

I heard Layne sigh under me. I gently pressed my tongue against his. He wrapped his arms around me. I could feel the sparks flying between us.

We were two hormone crazed teenagers. Layne's hormones seemed to be more wild than mines.

I pulled away, sucking up the spit that was between our mouths.

"Did you like that?" I asked softly.

Layne looked at me and nodded.

"I want more." Layne said desperately.

"More? How far do you wanna go?" I asked, smirking.

"All the way. I wanna be fucked." Layne said desperately.

"Fucked? Layne we just met today. I told you to slow down. Why don't we just make out?" I suggested.

"But I want to feel some skin on mines. Shannon please. I'm so horny all of the time. I feel like I'm gonna explode. Give me an orgasm please..." Layne begged desperately.

"Layne, let's just make out for a while and see where that goes alright?" I suggested.

"Fine." Layne pouted. "Come here, I wanna show you something."

I raised a brow. This boy was a firecracker ready to explode at any moment. He got on his knees and moved a portion of the wall to the side, crawling into the tight space.

"What the hell is that the underground railroad?" I joked to myself.

"No silly, this is part of my room. It's just always been here, I don't know what it's for but I use it as another little room when I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. I crawl in here for solitude. C'mon, check it out." Layne replied, poking his head outside.

I walked over and got on my knees, crawling in there. Layne turned on a lamp. He had a box fan in there.

"Sometimes it can get hot in here." Layne smiled, turning the fan on low.

"You wanted to bring me in here on purpose so we can burn up and have to take clothes off." I joked.

"No I didn't..." Layne smiled shyly, pulling the board back over the opening.

He had a beanbag chair in there and a radio. His room was so chill. If I had a room with this in there, I would totally use this room to get baked every night!

Layne laid against the beanbag.

"Come here Shannon, kiss me..." Layne said softly.

I crawled over to him and laid against him, leaning down and pressing my lips to his again. I put my hand on the side of his face as I pressed my tongue against his. He moaned lightly, putting his hand on top of my hand.

"Give me hickeys, suck my neck..." He breathed against my mouth.

"I don't know about that, what will people say at school?" I asked.

"I don't care...mark me Shannon, please..." Layne breathed kissing my lips.

I smirked and kissed down his neck. He threw his head back and sighed.

I sucked on the taut skin of his neck as hard and fast as I could, leaving a purple bruise in its wake. I moved to another part of his neck, sucking once again.

"MMM I love this..." Layne moaned, arching his back.

I was starting to sweat as I kissed down his neck to the part of his check that was exposed from his shirt. I ran my tongue back up and left another hickey on his neck.

I was getting turned on myself by now. I moved back up to his lips and kissed him again, sucking his bottom lip before I pulled away, looking down at him.

Layne looked up at me with bright eyes, a big goofy grin on his face. He was looking at me as if I had made all of his dreams come true.

"You know what, I guess one orgasm wouldn't hurt." I smiled, looking down at Layne.

"Please..." Layne begged.

I rolled over beside him and undid my pants, pushing them off. I looked over at him.

"Take yours off."

Layne quickly undid his own pants, sliding them off along with his underwear. His blue shirt covered his lap. Both of us were sweating as I removed my own underwear and straddled Layne.

"We're supposed to be doing homework." I smiled as I straddled Layne.

"This is better then homework." Layne breathed, throwing his arms back against the beanbag.

I bit my lip and started grinding my erection against Layne's. Layne threw his head back and arched his back, gasping loudly.

"Oh fuck, this feels so fucking good...you know what you're doing have you done this before?" Layne moaned.

"Sort of.." I mumbled biting my lip as I moved against his lap.

Layne started bucking his hips into mines.

"this is so good oh my god my whole body feels like its tingling..." Layne breathed as we moved together.

I smiled and leaned down and started kissing him again. It wasn't long before he started shaking against me, grabbing a handful of my shirt as he reached his peek, cumming against me. I stopped grinding and laid against him, my nose pressed against his.

"Feel good?" I breathed.

Layne nodded against my face.

I pulled away and lay beside Layne. He stared up at the ceiling amazed. I could tell it was his first time with someone other than his hand. Layne looked over at me.

"It's your turn. You need to finish." He smiled.

I looked at Layne.

"Why don't you just stroke me?" I asked.

"Okay." Layne smiled sitting up and reaching over and running his hand up and down my cock.

I bit my lip and held his other hand.

"MMM like that. I can tell you're an expert at this..." I chuckled.

"I do it almost every night..." Layne smiled as he worked my length, pressing on my tip with his thumb.

"Faster..." I whispered as I looked down to see Layne playing with my cock.

He complied and picked up the pace.

I bit my lip as I felt my build up coming on. "Almost there..." I warned Layne.

I was shocked when Layne leaned down over my cock as he still stroked it. I couldn't control myself as I busted a nut in his mouth.

He pulled off, a wince on his face as he swallowed my cum. I laughed lightly at him.

"First time? It's an acquired taste." I smiled.

Layne laid beside me and put his hand on my chest.

"Oh my god Shannon you are so awesome. I like you alot." He smiled.

"Eh, I like you too." I smiled.

"Great!" Layne smiled.

We lay there for a moment and then cleaned up and got dressed, crawling out of the little add on to Layne's room and finally sitting on Layne's bed and starting on some homework.

Layne was so sweet. He was so perverted yet so sweet. I liked having fun with him, but I wasn't ready to let him into my world yet. He liked me so much already but I could understand. The poor boy had been alone for so long and here I came along, the same as him.

I could not believe how my day had turned out. I hadn't expected to warm up to anyone and here I was at this boy's house, playing with him already.

I smiled at Layne and he smiled back at me. I couldn't wait to see him performing with his band. This was going to be interesting.

One thing I knew for sure is that Layne was pretty wild.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you my boyfriend?" Layne asked again.

_  
Layne and Shannon were in the boy's bathroom. Shannon stood against the wall with his arms crossed and watched as Layne looked in the mirror, running his fingers through his wavy hair and checking his complexion. Shannon smirked and shook his head. Layne was too funny, always paranoid that he had something on his face. He was confident yet so self conscious at the same time. Shannon reached over and pulled Layne to him, Layne facing Shannon. Shannon pressed his lips to Layne's as people filed into the bathroom, appearing to be oblivious to the two boys who had their lips pressed together._

_Shannon pulled away, sucking on Layne's lower lip in the process. Layne sighed and smiled. Shannon always did things to make him melt._

_"I'm gonna head on to the lunchroom. Meet me there?" Shannon smiled._

_Layne was breathless. He looked at Shannon and nodded, blinking and looking at him lovingly. Shannon smiled at Layne and squeezed his shoulder before turning to leave out._

_Once he was gone, Layne turned around, leaning on the sink and smiling to himself. He felt so lucky to have Shannon. He couldn't believe Shannon actually liked him. He took his lip gloss out of his pocket and looked in the mirror, puckering his lips and applying it. Suddenly as he was doing this, three guys walked up to him, around him, looking at him. Layne furrowed his brow and popped his lips together, looking at them in the mirror._

_"The new boy's pretty cute Layne." One of the guys spoke up._

_"Yeah, we see you got to him before we even had a chance to meet him." The middle one said._

_Layne turned around and frowned. He looked at the boy to the right and he felt flames around his heart. It was Ryder Neil, a boy who had made a complete fool of Layne. Ryder Neil and his cronies, Kayden and Zyler. They had quite the reputation at school of being the "gay" click. A click that Layne used to be apart of._

_"You haven't scared him off yet I see." Ryder laughed at Layne._

_Layne frowned. "Fuck you!"_

_They all laughed at him._

_"It won't be long and he'll realize you're a fucking psycho!" Zyler piped up._

_"Yeah and when he does, I'll have a shot at him! I'll give it a month and he's gonna dump you!" Ryder smirked at Layne._

_Layne stood there looking down, his bottom lip quivering. They were bringing up repressed memories for him._

_"Are you gonna cry? Your so desperate for attention Layne. You are such a loser you will do anything for attention. You are so lame. He'll see over time. What's his name? Shannon? He will see over time that your just an overbearing obsessed psycho!" Kayden finally spoke up._

_Layne wrapped his arms around himself, looking down, shutting his eyes tight as the tears started to fall. They were all laughing at him. They had him surrounded, he was trapped._

_"Hey man remember that time Layne kept calling your house every 30 minutes? What a loser! He couldn't even take the fucking hint!" Zyler laughed, hitting Ryder's arm._

_Layne was shaking as he sniffled loudly._

_"We'll inform Shannon about you. Then he'll dump you, and then I can show him a real man. You're just a fucking poseur! You're just a fucking wanna be!" Ryder spat at Layne._

_Layne had had enough. He pushed past them, running out of the boy's bathroom. Tears fell as he rushed past them, almost tripping in the process. All he heard out the door was laughing as he rushed down the hall._

_He ran to the only place he could think of to be alone, outside, under the bleachers. He sank down to the dirty ground, sitting there with his knees pulled to his chest, sobbing lightly._  
  
* * *

I looked at the time. Lunch was halfway over. Where was Layne? I hadn't really touched my food. I was waiting for Layne to join me. I felt concerned now. I stood up, leaving the tray at the table and walked off. I walked to the bathroom and saw 3 guys standing by the sink, talking to each other. They got silent when I walked by. I put my hair behind my ears and furrowed my brow at them as I walked past, looking for Layne. I looked under the stalls to see if I could see those familiar boots. No one was in the stalls.

That was weird. Layne had been by my side nonstop for the past month, and now all of a sudden he seemed to have disappeared. Something wasn't right.

I walked aimlessly around the school, scanning everywhere looking for Layne. Had Layne gotten sick? I found myself outside walking around and looking. I made my way to the football field. No one was over there. I scratched my head. I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

I was going to start making my way back to the school when I heard sobbing as I walked past the bleachers. I followed the sound with furrowed brows and saw a person sitting against one of the support beams of the bleachers. I squinted my eyes as I walked closer.

I recognized those boots!

I walked over and stood there looking down at him. It was him, his wavy hair covered his face as he had it buried in his knees.

"Layne?" I asked softly.

Layne jumped and slowly looked up, sniffling. His eyes were red from crying. I held out a hand and Layne looked at me and took it and I pulled him up off the ground. I dusted his butt off.

"Layne you've got dirt and grass all over the back of your pants. What the hell is going on?" I asked, trying to pry his hands from his face.

Layne slowly took his hands away from his face, wiping his eyes and sniffling, looking at me.

"Layne, what happened? You were supposed to meet me in the lunchroom. What's wrong?" I asked again, putting my hands on his waist.

"Do you really like me Shannon?" Layne asked, tears pouring down his face.

"Huh? Of course I do Layne." I replied, brows furrowed.

"Are you my boyfriend?" Layne asked again.

"What?"I asked, brows furrowed. "Where is this coming from Layne? What the hell happened when I was gone?" I demanded.

"Nothing. Are we dating? Are we together? We've never established if we are." Layne sniffled looking at me.

I looked straight into his eyes. He looked scared, as if his life was depending on my answer.

It's true, we fooled around a lot and made out and stuff but we had never really established what this was between us. I looked at Layne as my mind raced. I really liked Layne alot. He was sweet, smart and so funny. He was so innocent. I stared at him as i was processing this.

Suddenly he pulled away from me, turning around and getting ready to walk off. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going? Get back here!" I said softly, pulling him back to me.

I wrapped my arms around him and he looked up at me, his lip quivering. He was so upset, I knew it had to be more than just this. He wasn't telling me something. I didn't want to pry though.

"I guess I am your boyfriend." I smiled a little.

My stomach turned a little. Boyfriend. Wow this was a big step.

"Really?" Layne asked, smiling big, his teeth showing.

Ugh he was so sweet.

"Yeah really. You good now? You're my boyfriend Layne. We're together. We've established this." I assured him.

Layne seemed to need alot of assurance. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

"Thanks Shannon. Yes, I feel better. You're mine!" He smiled excitedly.

When he pulled away from the hug I leaned in and kissed him softly. I parted his lips with my tongue and heard him sigh as I slowly pushed it into his mouth, against his teeth. He parted his teeth to let me in and we stood there, under the bleachers, kissing passionately. Layne moaned slightly as we sucked on each others tongues. He let his hands fall to my ass where he squeezed. I pulled away from his lips and smirked.

"Hey now, naughty..." I smiled.

"I can't help it, you are so sexy." Layne said shyly.

I bit my lip and started grinding my hips into his. He was really turning me on.

"Shannon..." Layne gasped softly.

I knew he could feel the bulge in my pants against his lap.

"I'm fucking hard for you right now. Wanna try something?" I asked.

"MMM...I guess. Our lunchtime's almost over though, we'll be late for class." Layne pouted.

"Fuck that class. I want you." I smiled, leaning over and sucking on Layne's earlobe.

He shuddered and looked at me. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to my neck, sucking hard. I knew he was leaving a hickey on me. I continued to grind my hips to his as he marked me in various places. He pulled away, lips kiss swollen and looked at me.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked softly, his hand snaking down to my pants and palming my crotch.

I bit my lip as I looked at Layne. His breaths were short and shallow as he looked at me.

"You ever sucked dick before?" I asked softly.

Layne shook his head slowly, still looking at me and blinking slowly. I managed to unzip my pants and pull my dick out while Layne was still staring at me. I looked down and so did Layne. He gasped when he saw my erection.

"Don't you think it's time you learned?" I asked softly.

Layne put his wavy hair behind his ears and looked at me quietly, smiling and nodding.

"Good, get down there." I smiled.

The bell rang as Layne dropped to his knees. He looked up at me, unsure.

"Put your mouth on it Layne..." I chuckled, putting one hand against the support beam and the other held my erection out.

Layne's lips were mere centimeters away from my tip. I watched Layne as he slowly closed his eyes and leaned forward, putting my tip in his mouth. I bit my lip, wanting to thrust in his mouth but I had to control myself. This was his first time. I didn't want to put too much on him at once.

"Suck on it like you're sucking on a tootsie pop!" I breathed.

Layne looked up at me, his cheeks rising up as he smiled up at me, my cock in his mouth. I breathed hard as I heard the loud sucking sounds. Layne's eyes had fell closed. He put his hand around my shaft, turning his mouth at an angle and started bobbing his head on my length, my tip pressing against the inside of his cheek.

It was feeling good to me.

"I thought you never did this before..." I breathed, slightly bucking my hips against Layne.

He was moving his hand up and down my shaft at the same time he was thrusting his cheek onto my tip. Eventually I had removed my hand from my shaft once he put his there. I now had it tangled in his hair.

"Fuck Layne, that's it, keep doing that..." I breathed.

I felt that familiar twitch in my ball sack and before I knew it I was spilling my load, right into Layne's mouth. I sighed loudly as I looked down at Layne, who had dropped my dick by now.

His lips were rosy red and swollen and he looked up at me lustfully. I put my dick back in my pants and fixed the zipper.

"That was so good Layne. You're an expert already..." I breathed, holding my hands out.

Layne took them and I lifted him up.

"Your a dirty pervert Shannon." Layne giggled as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Me!? What about you? You're more horny than me most of the time! Where the hell do you get it from? MMM do you need to be relieved?" I asked putting my hand on his crotch.

Layne squealed and moved my hand. "No Shannon. Maybe after school..." He smiled.

"We're so fucking late for class. You wanna go?" I asked.

"No." Layne replied. "Let's just hang out here until the next class, fuck it."

I took my flannel shirt off and put it on the ground and we both sat down on it.

"So we missed lunch. I'm gonna be freakin' starving." Layne replied.

"Me too." I smiled.

We held hands.

"Wanna go on our first date after school?" Layne asked.

"Well I'm kinda strapped for cash right now babe...mom's got a job but we have no extra spending money right now because we need furniture you know." I said softly.

"You called me babe...I'm your babe!" Layne said softly, smiling.

"Well yeah." I smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"I'll pay for it Shannon. Don't worry about it." Layne replied.

"I should be the one paying for you though..." I pouted.

I smiled as I made Layne blush. I rubbed my neck as we sat there.

"You put one mean ass hickey on my neck Layne. You're a fucking hoover do you know that?" I smiled.

Layne giggled. "You're mine Shannon, and I want everyone to know it."

We started to make out again until it was almost time for our last class of the day.

* * *

After school I went on that date with Layne. We dragged bookbags around and went to a pizza place. We ordered a medium cheese pizza. Layne had gotten so comfortable around me as I had to him. We talked and laughed and ate our pie. Layne was so charming and funny. I was beginning to really like him. He was really good to me.

* * *

I sighed as I sat there and ate my lunch. School was totally fucking boring that day. Layne had something to do with his mom so he didn't go to school that day. I had forgotten what it felt like to be alone. Me and Layne had become inseparable. I should have just skipped school and stayed home. I was supposed to be going to Layne's house when school was over. It was hard to confirm these things when you didn't have a phone. Mom was working on it though. I hoped Layne would be there and I hoped it wouldn't be awkward. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as I slumped back in my chair.

As I was sitting there, some guy came and sat beside me. I furrowed a brow and looked at him. He had teased hair. I fucking hated teased hair, it made me gag. He was looking at me and smiling.

I was sort of amused. I furrowed my brows, smiling back a little and looked at him.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"Isn't your name Shannon?" He asked.

"Chea..." My smile faded. Who was this goon?

"My name's Ryder." He smirked at me.

"Okay." I said bluntly.

"Where's Layne at?" He asked looking around.

"He's not here today." I replied, skeptical.

"Oh, that's too bad. You two are like a thing right? I totally get it."

"Is there a reason you came over here?" I asked bluntly.

I wasn't one for bullshit.

"Just wanted to get to know the new gay boy. We all need to stick together you know." He replied.

I furrowed my brows. This was so weird.

"Your gay?" I asked.

"Extremely, you can't tell?" He smirked at me.

I looked at his teased hair and couldn't help but snort.

"Well yeah I can kinda tell now."

"I was just wondering something, why are you with Layne? Why Layne?" He asked me.

I sat there and blinked.

"What does that have to do with anything? You don't even know me. Do you know Layne or something?" I asked.

"Well yeah, I dated him last year."

I sat there processing this.

"You dated Layne?" I asked.

"Yeah. God he was awful." Ryder replied.

My stomach turned when he spoke about Layne in a bad way. I wanted to stand up and throw my lunch tray in this guy's obnoxious face, but I decided to pry. Layne didn't tell me about this. He claimed he had never had a boyfriend before.

"Awful? How so?" I frowned, tilting my head and keeping a straight face.

"Layne's real clingy. He wouldn't let me have a second to myself. He would constantly call my house if I didn't answer the phone. He really pissed my parents off. He was so jealous that it was annoying. How can you stand it?"

"He's not like that with me." I said with a straight face.

"Really? Wow, maybe he's matured. I just couldn't picture you with someone like Layne though. You know, if you ever wanted to hang out, you just let me know. I definitely know how to show people a good time."

I slid my chair down a bit. This guy was freaking me out.

"Um. Sure thing, uh, Roland?" I asked.

"Ryder." He smiled.

I stood up. "Yeah. I gotta get to class now." I replied, taking my tray and turning my back to the guy.

I was very curious as to why this guy randomly approached me and I wanted to know what went on between he and Layne.

I went to my next class early, to get away from that freak.

* * *

I had walked the blocks to Layne's house a million times by now. I had it memorized. I grew a little nervous as I got closer and closer to his house. When I got there I stepped up on the porch and rang the doorbell and waited patiently.

The door opened a few seconds later and Layne peeked out.

He squealed and opened the door wide, wrapping his arms around me. I smiled and hugged him back, kissing him.

"Shannon I missed you today!" He smiled letting me in.

"I missed you too...I got all of your homework." I smiled.

I checked Layne out as we made our way up the stairs and to his room. He looked comfortable. He had on a white t shirt and grey sweatpants and was barefoot. We entered his room and he shut the door behind him. I made myself barefoot as well. I loved being barefoot. Why did we even have to wear shoes?

"My mom went out grocery shopping. You still want to meet her right? She said you can stay for dinner." Layne smiled.

"Of course." I said, laying on his bed.

"How was school today?" He asked, smiling.

"Eh, boring without you there." I answered honestly, flipping my hair back.

Layne smiled and looked down. He laid down as well, facing me.

"I love your eyes Shannon. They are so blue. Your eyes are so beautiful..." Layne said randomly.

"Aww Layne. Yours are pretty too." I smiled, yawning a bit.

Layne threw an arm over me and slid closer, pressing his lips to mine. We started to make out again, a usual routine for us. Layne had gotten so good at kissing now. He made my stomach turn as he worked his tongue around my mouth.

I looked at him and smiled as he pulled away.

What the fuck was that loser at school talking about? Layne was a little quirky, but he had a nice personality. He was so sweet and innocent. I liked him a lot. He was so ecstatic to see me. It made me feel good about myself, knowing someone liked me that much.

"What are you thinking about?" Layne asked, smiling, brows slightly furrowed.

"Nothing. Just you." I smiled, running my hands through his hair.

What could be any better for a teenager then to be in love and have that other person love you back? I was on top of the world. Layne made me forget about everything.

My smile faded as my mind began to wonder. I had questions for him that needed to be answered.

"Babe, some douche bag came up to me in the cafeteria today. He was talking crazy. He said he used to date you." I started.

Layne looked at me, eyes widened.

"Babe?" I said, brows furrowed.

Layne's demeanor suddenly changed in the snap of a finger. He sat up, putting his face to his hands.

I sat up, brows furrowed. "Layne, what's wrong? Tell me. Stop being so secretive."

I put my arm around him. Layne was crying. I put my lips to his ear and sucked on his earlobe.

"C'mon Layne, talk to me." I said softly.

Layne shuddered and finally removed his hands from his face. I could see the tears forming.

"Was it Ryder?" He asked softly.

"Uh...yeah I think. Guy with black hair, has it teased like a poodle?" I chuckled to myself.

"Yeah." Layne sniffled. "What did he say to you?" Layne asked softly.

"He was just saying that he used to date you or some shit. Layne why'd you tell me you never had a boyfriend?" I asked.

"Because...he was a total fucking jerk to me. I was so stupid back then. I just want to pretend like that never happened with that guy." Layne said looking down.

"What did he do to you?" I asked, putting Layne's hair behind his ear.

"I didn't want you to know. I guess I better tell you before they tell you." Layne cried.

"Tell me what? It's okay Layne. I won't judge you." I said softly, wrapping my arms around him.

This guy must have really hurt him, he had been real upset ever since I brought it up.

"Well, I used to have a big crush on Ryder. And I never thought he would actually want to go out with me. I got one of my bandmates to go ask him out for me and he agreed. We started hanging out and one thing led to another..."

"Wait did you fuck him?" I frowned.

"No. Hell no. I'm glad I didn't too. I sucked him off a few times..." Layne admitted.

Hmm...that explained the other day....

"So anyway, well, I was fucking stupid. I just fucking, I was in love with him. I was obsessed Shannon. I just lost control of myself. I was acting real dumb. I was doing dumb things. I guess you could say I was stalking him. I was just so obsessed. I fucking know I was acting crazy but I just couldn't turn it off. He meant so much to me. I thought he actually liked me you know.

Well I could tell when he was about to dump me because it was as if he started avoiding me. I must have called his house a million times, trying to find answers.

It was just nice to have someone actually pay attention to me. Now after he dumped me he always goes around embarrassing me, telling people how crazy I am. Every time I try to make a new friend he turns them against me. He tells them I'm crazy."

"He didn't turn me off of you." I said sadly. "I actually like you, and I don't think you're crazy. You just need assurance. I get that." I said softly, stroking Layne's cheek.

I already had something brewing in my mind. This guy wasn't going to fuck with Layne anymore as long as I was around.

"The other day when I was in the bathroom, he came in there with his friends. They cornered me." Layne sniffled.

"What?" I asked.

"That's why I didn't show up to lunch. He told me he was gonna take you away from me Shannon. He was picking on me." Layne sobbed.

"Why can't he just leave me alone? If he hates me so much, why does he keep fucking with me?"

I frowned. I bit my lip. If it was one thing I hated the most, it was a damn instigator and trouble maker, and that is exactly what this guy seemed to be.

"If someone's bothering you, you need to tell me Layne. You hear me, tell me." I frowned.

"What are you gonna do?" Layne sniffled.

"I'm gonna have a nice talk with this guy tomorrow. He'll never bother you again. If he does, you let me know. I don't play this shit. He needs to fucking leave you alone. Don't worry I'll take care of it." I frowned.

Layne sniffled and smiled, looking at me.

"You are such a perfect boyfriend."

"I'm not perfect Layne. But I care about you alot." I replied.

Layne smiled, furrowing his brows a bit, he didn't question my statement. That was a can of worms for another day.

I smiled and leaned in and kissed him.

"I'm so glad I met you Shannon. You make me feel normal." Layne pouted

"Oh believe me, you do the same for me too." I smiled.

Layne had no idea what I had been through. I wasn't ready to tell him just yet.

I would set this fagget Ryder straight the next day at school.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layne sighed loudly, putting his hands on my hips. "Shannon you are so good at all of this stuff. Your ex boyfriend must have been a freak. Is that where you learned all of this stuff from?" I stopped grinding and looked down at Layne. He looked up at me smiling. "Don't talk about that right now, it's a fuckin' boner killer. Let's just keep going." I said a little irritably.

I pulled away from Layne's lips and smiled and looked at him.

"You alright?" I asked.

Layne smiled half heartedly, looking up at me then looking down. He appeared to have something on his mind. It was getting down to crunch time. I had devised this wonderful plan to fuck with Ryder. He and his teased puppies were right across the yard from us. I would send Layne over there to stand around. I just knew they would fuck with him; according to Layne they just loved to talk shit to him for no apparent reason. Once this ensued, I would appear and then talk shit to this Ryder fellow and maybe ruff up his friends a bit so they would take the hint that they better leave Layne alone because I wasn't scared to fight.

And I wasn't. I had played football, wrestling and pole jumped back in Indiana. I was strong and I was confident I could beat all of these pansies asses.

I rubbed Layne's hips and smiled at him. He still stared off into space, his lips slightly pursed. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows, his bottom lip rising before looking off into space again.

"You ready Layne?" I asked, smiling, trying to meet his gaze.

He bit his lip and looked over at them and then back at me.

"What?" I asked, rubbing his shoulders.

"I don't think we should do this right now." Layne said looking me straight in the eye.

I furrowed my brows.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because...please Shannon. Let's just not. Just forget about it." Layne looked like he was gonna cry.

I sighed.

"Well, ok. We don't have to. But if he fucks with you ever again, I'm sorry Layne I'm gonna beat his ass." I replied, putting my arm around Layne.

We turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. I furrowed my brows as we walked across the school yard. What in the world was wrong with Layne? He had been acting funny all morning like his mind wasn't all there. He seemed to be enthusiastic about this yesterday.

I didn't question him about it. We walked on to our next class together, arms around each other.

* * *

I was falling asleep in our last class. I intertwined my fingers together, resting my face on them as I drifted off. The teacher was so boring and her words were blending together and her tapping on the blackboard just made me feel extremely bored and tired. I was drifting off when I felt something touch my crotch. I flinched and woke up instantly, looking over at Layne to see him looking straight ahead at the teacher and smirking. He put his wavy hair behind his ear. I looked down in my lap to see a folded piece of paper.

I slowly picked it up and unfolded it and read it.

__  
Wanna stay with me tonight?  


I smirked to myself and wrote my answer back and folded it up normal and slid it over to Layne.

__  
Of course.  


I couldn't wipe the smirk off of my face now as I pressed my hand into my mouth, trying to hide my wide smile. I felt the paper being passed back to me.

__  
Do you wanna fuck me tonight?  


I furrowed by brows as I read it. I glanced over at Layne. He had a big smile on his face, looking down at his desk, his hands in his lap.

I thought about it. Did I want to fuck him tonight? Hmmm.

__  
Yes.  


I smirked as I passed the paper over to Layne. I watched him as he unfolded it and read it, his eraser between his pretty lips. His eyes widened and his smile got huge. I fucking spoiled him without even having any money. I looked forward again, trying not to smile so hard. The note was passed back to me. I casually opened it.

__  
Finally. My mom won't mind if you stay, she likes you. Oh Shannon I can't wait to get out of here.  


I kept the paper and didn't write back. I tapped my foot anxiously. I was going to fuck Layne. I was just gonna do it. Here we were halfway through the semester and me and him were tight anyway.

Once the bell rang we shot so fast out of the school we were practically running. We stood outside the front of the school, looking at each other.

"Guess I need to grab a change of clothes." I smiled at Layne.

"Oh. Well, I guess you could just meet me at the drug store near my house?" Layne said, clutching the straps on his backpack.

I smiled warmly at him.

"No. Come with me." I said softly.

"You mean, I get to finally see your house?" Layne asked, surprised.

"Yeah." I smiled.

I felt like I could fully trust him now.

"Great!" Layne smiled wide, linking his arm in mine.

We walked the other way, to my house.

* * *

"Mom's at work. Ok don't laugh at my room. I mean, mom wanted to get me furniture first but I told her don't worry about it. I crash at your place most of the time anyway." I smiled a little nervously as I unlocked the door to me and mom's apartment.

I slowly opened the door and walked in. Thank god we had some living room furniture. I looked back at Layne and he looked around my house curiously.

"Um. This is it." I smiled waving my hands around.

"Its cute. I like it." Layne smiled looking at me.

My place was definitely smaller than Layne's. He didn't seem to be affected at all. This place was a shoebox compared to Layne's place.

"I wanna see your room." Layne pouted.

"Ugh, why?" I frowned, then smiled.

I led the way through the apartment and opened the door to my room.

"We're still renovating in here." I joked as we entered.

I had a mattress on the floor in the corner, and my clothes were in piles against the wall. Wow I had junk laying everywhere. Shit. I had been at Layne's so much I had been abandoning my own place.

Layne squealed and put his bookbag down, going over to my pile of clothes, snatching my white beanie with the rainbow squares on it and putting it on his head, looking at me.

"I love this hat!" He smiled.

I smirked and shook my head. I turned around and found a trashbag under the pile of clothes in my room and started sifting through stuff, looking for clean clothes. I forgot which pile was supposed to be the dirty clothes so I had to sniff.

Layne had gotten very quiet. I looked over to see that he was laying on my mattress. He had removed his shoes and was laying on my mattress. He had long since took my hat off of his head.

"What are you doing over there?" I smirked as I stuffed clothes into the trashbag.

"This is your bed, this is where you sleep." Layne said, amazed.

I smirked. "Yeah. It's just a mattress. Nothing special. Not like your bed."

"But still, this is where you sleep!" Layne smiled, rolling over, burying his face in my one pillow.

I furrowed a brow and shook my head as I continued packing. I finally finished. I don't know what Layne found so special about that mattress, it was just a mattress. My room was a mess. It was nothing like his room.

"I'm done, let's go Layne." I said, rushing.

"No...wait. Let's christen your mattress." Layne pouted looking up at me.

"No way. Let's go Layne." I said, frowning a bit.

"But Shannon....Shannon..." Layne said softly looking up at me, pouting and batting his eye lashes.

He slowly started unbuttoning his shirt looking up at me. He started palming his crotch. He fucking knew how to work me. I bit my lip.

"You are like, the horniest kid I know." I sighed, dropping my bag to the floor.

I dropped to my knees and crawled over to Layne on the mattress. I crawled between his legs and pressed my lips to his. He smiled as we kissed.

I pulled away and looked at him.

"Pull your pants off, I'm gonna suck your dick." I said softly.

Layne bit his lip and looked at me. I backed away to give him some room. He quickly slid his pants and underwear down. I smiled as I looked at his erection. I looked at him and smiled as I got beside him. I put my hair behind my ears and smiled warmly at him before opening my mouth and going down on him.

I heard him gasp as I sucked him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around his tip. I closed my eyes as I kept swallowing, taking him down my throat.

"Oh my god, Shannon...this feels so fucking great." Layne moaned, writhing beneath me.

I laughed lightly around his length, pressing his hips down as I worked him. I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I was doing. I felt his hand run through my hair, resting on my head. I sighed as I felt him slowly jerking his hips into my mouth so I picked up the pace.

I felt him start to shake more and more and I quickly pulled off of his cock, jerking it off and looking at him as he reached his orgasm. He threw his head back as he moaned loudly, bucking his hips into my hand. I quickly put my mouth over his tip as he shot his load into my mouth.

It was just easier that way, no mess to clean up. Layne slumped against the wall, a satisfied smiled on his face as I sat up, swallowing his load and wiping my mouth. He fixed his pants and we just sat there, staring into space.

"That was so fucking great Shannon. You are so talented...maybe you can teach me how to do that? I must have been all the way down your throat!" Layne smirked, running his hands through his hair.

I chuckled and shook my head

* * *

I held Layne's bookbag as we stood outside of the drugstore near his house.

"But Shannon...I want you in there with me when I'm buying it!" Layne pouted hard.

"No way. I can see it now, the person working in there will probably think we've stolen something since you have your backpack and I have this trash bag. They will want to check our bags, fuck that. Just go in there and do it Layne. Act casual. I'll be out here waiting. If you want to fuck you'll do this." I replied.

Layne sighed and looked at me and pouted. He entered the store. I stood outside, looking around, holding our stuff.

A few minutes later I hear the door to the store open and Layne's flushed face comes out.

"Well?" I ask.

"Shannon I'm so scared. I can't do it. It's so embarrassing...buying that stuff. What if it's like illegal for us to buy it or some shit. What if they ask for my ID or something? I don't want to be embarrassed! Can you do it? I can't do it!" Layne exclaimed.

I looked at Layne with a furrowed brow. I chuckled to myself and handed Layne the bags. Layne handed me some money.

"Babe, you are too paranoid. I'll show you how it's done." I shook my head and went inside of the store.

I wasn't scared at all. I knew how to carry myself. I poked my chest out some as I walked over to the aisle that contained the lube. I looked over the various choices and went with the cheapest store brand one. Any type would do as long as it got the job done. I walked over to the checkout. There were a few people in front of me. I didn't make eye contact or speak, and neither did the cashier as the lube was rung up.

I handed the money over, change was given, lube was placed in a bag, and the transaction was complete. Layne was just too scary. I walked back out.

"Did you get it?" Layne smiled big.

"Yeah. Piece of cake. No biggie. You gotta stop being so scary baby." I chuckled, kissing Layne's temple.

Layne smiled and we began to make our way to Layne's house

* * *

Layne opened the door to his house and we walked in there. Liz was sitting on the couch. She looked over and smiled when she saw me.

"Hey Shannon." She said in a sing song voice.

"Um. Hey." I replied softly, sticking close to Layne.

Layne rolled his eyes.

"Where's mom?" He asked his sister.

"She went out to the store. Hey Shannon, I saw Layne totally digging up his nose the other day and he looked at his finger!" She exclaimed.

"LIZ OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Layne exclaimed.

He looked at me and frowned. "Well Shannon she doesn't wrap her used maxi pads in tissue before she throws them in the trash. I look in the trashcan and I see all these bloody stinky pads in the trash!" He exclaimed.

My shoulders shook as I laughed and put my hand over my eyes. These two were a trip.

"Oh yeah shall I inform Shannon about how you used to piss the bed? Shannon guess how old he was the last time he did it!?" Liz exclaimed.

"ENOUGH LIZ! GOD! Let's go Shannon!" Layne said dragging me along.

As we made our way up the stairs, Liz yelled. "Fourteen!"

"She's so fucking embarrassing." Layne pouted as we made our way to his room.

"Layne don't be embarrassed. You two make me laugh. You guys are human. Humans have normal experiences. If you can't get the treasure out of the chest, sometimes you have to just use the shovel to dig it out!" I smirked, wrapping my arms around him, kissing his temple.

Layne put our stuff down. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my lips, shoving his tongue in my mouth. I tilted my head as we stood there, making out.

Layne pulled away breathlessly. "Can we fuck right now Shannon? Can we try right now?"

"Shouldn't we wait until tonight, til your parents and sister are asleep? I mean, even if you lock you're door, I'm sure they would wonder what we're doing in here." I shrugged.

Layne's eyes were shimmering. His blue eyes burned into mine. He was so damn intent.

"Babe, why do you want to have sex so bad? Are you sure you're ready for this? I mean, this is a real big step. I mean, what would you be getting out of this?" I asked.

Layne furrowed his brows and looked at me.

"Of course I'm ready. I've been ready since the first day I laid eyes on you Shannon. I love you. I just want to be closer to you." Layne blurted looking at me.

He loved me?

I stared at him and blinked. He looked down and away. I pulled his chin back towards mine and made him look at me.

"You love me? Why? I'm no one special. I'm just a regular guy." I pouted.

Layne knew me but he didn't really know everything about me.

"I love you cuz you're so good to me. You respect me. You're so nice to me..." Layne pouted, looking down again.

"Do you love me?" He said, barely audible.

"Well. Yeah." I said, my heart warming up.

Fuck. I loved Layne. There was no fucking denying it. I was always over here. We were always together. We had so much shit in common. We already had each others dick in the others mouth. Why not take this shit even further?

Layne's eyes started tearing up.

"You love me. This is so fucking great. I can't believe this is happening to me. I love you!" He cried hugging me, burying his face into my chest.

I smiled a little and wrapped my arms around him, kissing the top of his head. Layne was a mess.

"Love you too." I smiled.

"When we graduate, would you want to live with me?" Layne asked, looking at me.

"I don't know. Depends on my situation." I shrugged.

Layne started pouting. I sighed.

"Layne, that's far down the fucking road. Let's just worry about now. We'll figure shit like that out later on. Who knows what we'll be doing? You might go off to college and leave me here." I shrugged.

"I'm not going to college Shannon. I'm going to be a rockstar." Layne sniffled. "You haven't seen me and my band perform yet. Gigs are pretty dry during the school year. You have to see us perform. I'm gonna be in a band. And you can be right there with me. As my roadie or some shit." Layne said looking at me.

"Maybe." I smiled, kissing his cheek.

We stood there for a moment, silent. Layne sniffled and pulled away, running his hands over his wavy hair. He walked over to the crawlspace and moved the bored from over it. He crawled in and poked his head out seconds later.

"C'mon." He smiled.

I sighed and took my shoes and socks off and my shirt and went over and crawled in with Layne. He was already comfortable, throwing his clothes in the corner of the small room.

"Layne, slow down, geez." I laughed, pulling the lube out of the bag and throwing the bag in the corner.

Layne laid against the bean bag, looking at me intently. I crawled over and turned on the christmas lights we had strung around the room. That was my idea. It made the place look cool.

"Let's do a little foreplay first." I smiled, crawling over to Layne.

"Take your clothes off." Layne whispered as he reached his hands down, undoing my belt.

I smiled and sat back, hastily removing the rest of my clothes. So here we were, together and naked in the little add on to Layne's room. I felt kind of nervous. We were actually gonna do this.

Layne started stroking himself, looking at me. I crawled over and took his hand off of himself, straddling him. I looked down at him as I began to grind my erection into his. Layne bit his lip, moving his hips up against mine. I sighed and leaned down, pressing my lips to his neck and sucking.

Layne sighed loudly, putting his hands on my hips.

"Shannon you are so good at all of this stuff. Your ex boyfriend must have been a freak. Is that where you learned all of this stuff from?"

I stopped grinding and looked down at Layne. He looked up at me smiling.

"Don't talk about that right now, it's a fuckin' boner killer. Let's just keep going." I said a little irritably.

"Oh. Sorry." Layne pouted and blushed.

I began kissing his neck again, but stopped grinding. I could feel Layne trying to move his hips under mines. He whined against my lips.

"What?" I asked a little irritably.

"Why'd you stop? C'mon, hump me." Layne pouted.

I sighed. "No Layne. Let's try something else. Get on your hands and knees." I replied.

Layne looked unsure as I back off of him. He sat up.

"What are you gonna do?" Layne asked self consciously.

"Get on your hands and knees and find out." I smirked.

Layne sat there holding himself and looking into space.

"I need to take a wash up first." Layne said looking at me.

I groaned. It was getting hot in this little room. Hot and cramped. I reached over and turned the fan on.

"Layne. You don't need to take a bath. I wanna taste you, not soap. It's alright. Just calm down. Just let yourself go and just let me do it. You worry too much about little petty things. You wanted to do this, now we're doing it. There's no going back. You are just going to have to embrace it."

Layne bit his lip and slowly got on his hands and knees. He looked absolutely terrified.

I licked my lips and crawled behind him, putting my hands on his ass and squeezing. He let out a shaky breath. I could feel Layne shaking under my touch as I slowly parted his cheeks, looking at his beautiful skin.

"I'm sorry if it's unkept down there." Layne said self consciously.

"Looks good enough to me. Looks normal to me." I mumbled as I shoved my tongue down Layne's crevice.

I could feel Layne trembling. He let out shaky breathes. Shit just got real and now he was scared.

I moaned as I rimmed him, pressing my tongue against his anus. I sucked on the side of his cheek, leaving a hickey and then went back to playing in his crevice with my tongue.

"Shannon...that feels so good." I heard him whisper.

I smirked as I moved down to his peritoneum, sucking on it and pulling off, making a loud popping sound. He shuddered underneath my touch. I lightly squeezed his ass as I continued eating him out.

We were really into it, Layne starting to moan lightly, when all of a sudden, we heard his bedroom door open.

Layne must have jumped up nearly to the ceiling. I quickly pulled away from him. Fuck if we got caught, there was no way we could fix this. Our clothes were across the way. We had no time to put them on.

"Layne? Layne honey where are you?" Layne's mom called from inside his room.

Layne was breathing hard, quickly running his fingers through his hair, wiping his drooling mouth.

"What mom?" He asked, clearing his throat as he crawled near the opening of the crawlspace. He slid the bored back slightly, just enough to peek his head out.

I could hear them talking, but I couldn't see his mom.

"Honey I just came in to tell you I'm about to fix dinner. What are you doing in there?" She asked.

I quickly realized that mom wasn't a helicopter parent. I smirked and crawled back over to Layne's ass. I grabbed it, Layne flinching.

"Are you okay honey?" His mom asked him.

I started fucking Layne's ass with my tongue once again. I heard Layne let out a shaky breath.

"Yeah mom...mmm yeah. Shannon's here. We're just in here studying for....studying for this quiz we've got coming up."

I chuckled softly as I heard him muster an excuse.

"Shannon? Oh Hi Shannon!" I heard her call.

I pulled of of Layne's ass.

"Hi Ms. Elmer!" I exclaimed.

"Are you staying for dinner?" I heard her ask.

"Yes, if that's alright with you!" I called back before reconnecting my tongue to Layne's flesh.

"That's fine, I'll fix an extra plate. Well, I'll let you two boys get back to you're studying. Layne you two boys are so responsible, studying all of the time. See you later honey."

I heard Layne's door close. I backed off of Layne and laid back against the beanbag as he closed the crawlspace and crawled over, laying beside me.

"Holy fucking shit. That was so fucking close. Shannon. You naughty fucking boy. Talking to my mother while eating my ass!" Layne smiled breathlessly, hitting my chest lightly.

"It could have been worse, we could have been on the bed and she burst in." I smiled.

I leaned in and kissed Layne. He kissed me back hungrily.

"You didn't tell me to go brush my teeth before we kissed. Are you feeling alright?" I joked, touching his forehead.

Layne giggled loudly.

"Shut up Shannon! Oh my god. I think you were right. Maybe we need to wait to do this until everyone's asleep..."

"I told you! Plus, I want to fuck you somewhere more comfy...like, on your bed." I pouted.

"Maybe we can get a mattress in here?" I pondered.

"Just how are we going to do that without drawing attention to ourselves?" Layne smirked, stroking my hair.

I smiled and shrugged.

"Let's get dressed. Wanna play some atari or something before dinner?" Layne asked.

"Sure." I smiled.

We moved around, getting our clothes back on.

"Your ass tastes great." I whispered in Layne's ear as we started playing pacman.

Layne giggled and blushed.

"See how that pacman's mouth is moving? That was me on your ass." I joked again.

Layne lost the game.

"Shannon! Oh my god you are so bad!" He exclaimed, smiling at me.

* * *

"This...feels...so...fucking...good!" I let out a shaky breath as I slowly shoved my dick up into Layne's ass.

Layne was on all fours, we were on his bed, it was almost 2:00 in the morning. We were trying to keep it down. I wanted to fuck the shit out of him, but I had to go slow, so the bed wouldn't creak.

I heard a sniffle out of Layne. Layne had his face buried into his pillow.

"You okay?" I asked softly as I fucked him.

We had done everything right, just the way I remembered. I had ruffed him up with foreplay, I wet my fingers with lube. Had to talk Layne down out of his insecurities so I could stick my fingers up there. After a few minutes of that, I lubed my cock up, and slowly shoved it up in Layne. Layne was immensely tense. I hoped he wasn't hurting too bad as I was doing this.

"MMM HMM." Layne mumbled.

He finally lifted his head up, throwing his hair back.

"If you want me to stop, just tell me and I'll stop." I breathed.

"No...don't stop. I want you to cum inside me." Layne whispered loudly, throwing his head back.

The shit was feeling good to me. I had never pushed my dick into something this tight before. With each thrust, all the sensors on my cock were touched, sensors I was not aware were there. I sighed loudly, continuing my slow thrusts.

"You know, you don't have to just lay there babe, play with yourself." I said lowly to Layne.

Layne instantly complied, I could see his shoulder flexing, his arm around his stomach. He was jerking off.

"I'm pretty close..." I warned.

I bit my lip. Each thrust mad my ball sack feel on fire. I was gonna cum so hard inside Layne. I heard Layne starting to moan lightly as he pushed his hips forward into his hand and back onto my cock.

I picked up the pace a little bit, hitting a spot inside of him that drove me wild. I started shaking as I reached my orgasm, filling Layne's ass with my seed. I jerked into his ass a few more times, before pulling out and laying beside him, watching as he stayed on his stomach, eyes closed, still jerking off. His lips were hung open slightly, drool on the side of his mouth. I smiled to myself as I watched him. He was such a horny little whore.

He moaned lightly as he came, moving forward a few times. He closed his mouth, opening his eyes and blinking slowly before he fell to the bed in a heap, face buried in the pillow.

I chuckled lightly, running my hands through his hair. He stirred slowly, finally turning around and facing me.

"My ass is sore." He said softly.

I chuckled and ran my hand through his hair.

"Sometimes it's like that. If we do it enough though, eventually you'll be used to it. Did you like it?" I asked.

A big smile crept onto Layne's face as he nodded lazily.

"Good. That's all that counts." I smiled, looking at him.

"Shannon you are the most amazing boyfriend. This was real shit. You were so good to me. You fucking took care of me. I'm so in love with you." Layne said softly, putting his hand on my waste.

I smiled shyly. "Layne I love you too. So how are you feeling?" I asked.

"I feel like I could run a marathon. I feel so lucky. I feel like no one can touch me right now." Layne said confidently.

I chuckled to myself and rubbed his side.

Layne was fighting sleep. I watched him as he fell asleep, he looked so content. Maybe I would tell him soon. I needed to tell him. I lay there in bed beside him, staring up at his ceiling. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

* * *

 

"Harder!"

I bit my lip and pushed against him harder. He groaned. What the fuck did he expect? I tried to give him what he wanted. I'm only a fucking teenager!

"Harder you fucking brat!" He yelled at me.

I was frustrated.

"I'm doing this as hard as I fucking can!" I whined.

Suddenly I was shoved. The next thing I know I'm being choked. I can't breath. He was gonna kill me. He was gonna kill me because I couldn't fuck right.

I was a waste of space. I hoped he fucking killed me. Being dead would be better then having to keep doing these humiliating acts with him. I couldn't breath, it was hard to breath. His grip on my neck was getting tighter and tighter.

 

I opened my eyes and breathed hard and sat up fast. Where was I? Where was I? I looked around, my chest moving up and down hard, tears forming in my eyes.

I looked down beside me to see Layne, fast asleep. The room was dark and I could see the moonlight shining through the window. I touched my face, my neck, I was sweating. I put my hand to my face and sobbed as quietly as I could.

What the fuck was that, a fucking dream? I was having a bad dream about him.

I put my hands to my head. The memories wouldn't stop. Why the fuck was my head doing this to me now? Of all times brain, why did you choose now to fucking torture me?

I couldn't stop them as they came flooding back. I felt violated. I stood up and paced around the room, tears pouring down my face.

I needed my mom. I wanted my mom. I needed help. I had to get out of here. I found my clothes, quickly getting dressed. I grabbed my bag quietly. I hit the side of my head, hoping it could stop the flood of memories that seemed to be overtaking me.

I wanted to forget that shit. I didn't want to relive it. My brain was making me right now.

I quietly opened Layne's window and snuck out closing it behind me. I climbed down the side of his house, jumping on the concrete and started to make my way back home. I don't even know what time it was, it was really early in the morning.

I could hardly see as the tears were blurring my vision. I seemed to be having some sort of breakdown.

I made it home and tried to open the door but it was locked. I shakily fished in my pocket for my key and unlocked the door and went inside, closing the door behind me. The apartment was dark and quiet.

"Mom!? Mom!" I called, sinking to the floor beside the door.

Mom wasn't there. Mom was at work. I put my hands to my face and cried loudly. My brain was still replaying the horrible memories. I didn't know what to do to make it stop.

I beat my head with my hands.

"Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed at myself.

I shakily got up and went to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror as the tears streamed down my face. I fucking lost it as I took my shirt off, looking at my bare chest in the mirror.

I frowned as I started scratching myself. I started scratching harder and harder. The harder I scratched, the better it felt. The pain actually made me feel better.

I needed to harm myself more. I would do anything to make me not think about this. I wasn't even myself right then.

I sifted around the junk drawer in the bathroom for anything that I could find that could do damage, but not kill me. I found a razorblade and I looked at it as I cried. I looked in the mirror and started running it down my arms.

"Stop it! Leave me the fuck alone! Get out of my head you sick fuck!" I screamed at the mirror.

Before I knew it, I was soaked in blood. I put my hands to my forehead as I stared blankly in the mirror. I was so fucked up.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was it. I was gonna tell him. I was nervous. I didn't know how he would react.

_  
Layne stirred. He could hear the birds chirping outside. Memories of the just mere hours earlier started flooding into his brain as he woke up. He remembered Shannon's skin against him, Shannon's tongue in his mouth, Shannon's cock buried deep within him._

_He smiled, moaning a little as he turned over in the bed, his eyes still closed. He reached an arm out to feel for Shannon and his heart jumped when his arm fell limply to the cold bed. Layne opened his sleepy eyes, looking at the other side of the bed. It was empty._

_He sat up on his elbows and scanned his room._

_"Shannon?" He asked softly, looking around._

_He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and grabbed his shorts off of the floor and slid them on. He walked over to the crawlspace and moved the board back and peeked inside._

_"Shannon?" He asked softly looking around._

_Shannon wasn't in there. Layne furrowed his brows and ran his fingers through his hair. He walked out of his room and walked down the hall, peeking in the bathroom. His sister was in there putting her hair up, getting ready for school. She looked at Layne and furrowed her brows._

_"What are you looking at?" She frowned._

_"Nothing. Is Shannon in your room?" Layne asked, yawning._

_"No." She frowned._

_"Is he around? Have you seen him?" Layne asked again._

_"Ugh no Layne!" She frowned, slamming the door in his face._

_Layne was hardheaded. He searched around the whole house anyway. He looked everywhere. Shannon wasn't there. There was no trace of Shannon._

_Layne slowly walked back up the stairs. He felt numb. He didn't know what to feel. Liz was coming out of the bathroom as Layne made his way to his room. Layne slowly gathered clothes that he was going to wear to school. He stared into space as he got them and walked down to the bathroom to take his shower. He closed the door, setting his clothes on the closed toilet lid. He slid his shorts off and bent down, starting the water, getting it as hot as possible without burning himself and he stepped in, under the spray of the shower._

_He stood there, letting the water run down his body. He ran his hands through his hair, spitting out excess water. He leaned forward a bit, the water hitting his back, and he rested his hand against the wall as he looked down._

_Shannon wasn't here. That means Shannon must have left at some point during the morning. Why did Shannon sneak away? Why didn't he leave a note or something to let Layne know why he had left?_

_Layne's mind started to race. His mind started to form evil scenarios in his head. Layne's chest hurt. He felt a lump in his throat. He put his hands to his face as he started sobbing in the shower. His eyes were hot with tears. They blended in with the water coming out of the shower. He could see Shannon fucking him in his mind, brows furrowed staring down at Layne._

_Did Layne do something wrong? Was he not good enough? Did he not move around enough? Did Shannon realize he was disgusted by Layne after the fact? Did Shannon only want one thing, and now that he got it he didn't care for Layne anymore?_

_Layne had just told Shannon he loved him. Shannon had said it back. Layne didn't understand why this was happening. Shannon was supposed to stay the night. Shannon was supposed to be in his bed beside him when he woke up. They were supposed to kiss and giggle at the memories from the early morning. They were supposed to go to school together._

_Layne's lip quivered as he stared down at the shower floor. Should he even go to school today? Would he be humiliated? He couldn't take anymore rejections and humiliations. He had had enough happen to him already. Why did this always happen? Why didn't boys like Layne? What was wrong with himself? He was so confused._

_He was hurt. Hurt that Shannon had left. What a shitty thing to do after their first fuck. Layne felt like he had been dumped. He was going to go to school. He needed answers. Shannon was gonna give him answers dammit. Why the fuck would he do this when it seemed things were going good?_

_Layne continued to cry as he started washing himself._

_He sniffled loudly as he finished and turned the spray off. He was startled when there was a loud knock on the door._

_"Layne! Hurry up! What the fuck are you doing in there? We're gonna be late for school! Why are you dragging ass this morning?" Liz screamed through the door._

_Layne frowned. "I'm coming. Fuck just go ahead if you can't fucking wait."_

_He was irritated. He was hurt. He felt humiliated all over again. Layne didn't even blow dry his hair. He got dressed and combed his hair and put it behind his ears. He finally emerged out of the bathroom, going to his room and putting his boots on, grabbing his bag and checking to make sure his books were in it. He hadn't even done his homework last night on account of he and Shannon's romp._

_So he didn't have Shannon here and he was going to get a 0 first thing in the morning. The day was looking to be so bright._

_* * *_

_When Layne got to school, he went to his locker and went straight to class. He sat in his desk. He looked over at Shannon's empty desk and frowned slightly. He looked straight ahead. His heart raced as the class started feeling up. He was so pissed with Shannon. The bell rang and the teacher started the lesson for the day. Layne sighed and looked over at Shannon's empty chair._

_Wow. Fuck. He was so humiliated from fucking Layne that he couldn't even show up to school? Layne's chest hurt real bad. He couldn't stop himself from jumping to conclusions. He leaned forward in his chair, his eyes watering up. He kept swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn't do this here. Not here. He couldn't let them see him cry again. No one cared. The world was a cruel place. They would just pick on him._

_Layne was so tense as he held his emotions in. He could feel the tears flow to the corners of his eyes. He casually squeezed them out of his eyes and wiped them on his pants._

_He wasn't even paying attention in class. He hated not having any answers. He wanted to fucking know what was going on with Shannon._

_Layne had it bad that day. All he could concentrate on was the situation with Shannon. He racked his brain all day trying to figure out why. Why. What had he done wrong? He had to go to the bathroom a few times to get his cries out. At times it would be too much for him and he couldn't hold it in. He couldn't let them see him cry._

_Shannon was not at school that day. Shannon had not been to any class. Layne had had a miserable day._

_When Layne got home, he didn't speak to anyone. He went up to his room and locked it, shutting the door. He turned on loud music and laid in his bed, staring at Shannon's spot. His stomach rumbled but he wasn't hungry. He felt too lovesick to eat. He put his hand to his face again and cried. He grabbed the other pillow and sniffed it, hoping maybe to catch some of Shannon's scent but it only smelled like his house._

_Now at this point he was still angry but he missed Shannon. They never spent a day apart. As long as he could remember, they had spent every waking day hanging out at some point during the day. Layne was here alone, confused and worried. Shannon wasn't here._

_He remembered how life was before Shannon. He was always bored and lonely, feeling unfulfilled. He never wanted to go back to that. He cried as he thought about it. He sat up and wiped his eyes and sniffled. He hugged himself and rested his head on his knees._

_Eventually the cd had stopped playing and Layne's room filled with silence. Eerie silence. He rocked back and forth, sobbing into his knees. He jumped when there was a knock at his door and someone was trying to open his door._

_"Layne honey? What's going on in there? Dinner's ready honey." His mom called._

_"I'm not hungry mom!" Layne frowned._

_"Not hungry? Layne come out of this room and eat dinner."_

_"No mom! Seriously, leave me alone right now! I'm not hungry! Just wrap it up, I'll eat later! Go away!" Layne yelled._

_He heard his mom sigh and he heard her footsteps as she walked off._

_* * *_

_Layne hadn't slept much that night. By the next day, Layne had cried so much his throat was raw, his eyes were red and tired. He just couldn't shed anymore tears. Now he was angry. He was so angry. Today when he saw Shannon at school, he was gonna snap._

_Liz eyed Layne oddly as he came down the stairs, ready for school, wearing sweatpants and a white t shirt. She knew something wasn't right with him. He NEVER left the house looking like this. Layne went in the fridge and grabbed some sandwich meat and shoved it into his mouth. He looked at his sister._

_"What the fuck are you looking at?" He said darkly as he ate the only thing he had eaten in a day._

_Liz didn't say anything to Layne. Layne was scaring her. She had never seen him so pissed._

_Layne carelessly grabbed his bookbag as he and his sister got ready to go to school. Liz usually busted Layne's balls on the way to school but today she didn't say anything._

_It was the same routine as Layne got to school, he hurried up and went in his locker and then rushed to class. He was tired and anxious as the class filled up. His heart sank as the bell rang and the class started. He looked over at Shannon's empty seat. Day number 2! Where the fuck was Shannon? What the fuck was going on?_

_Layne laid his head on his desk. He hated this pain. He felt like he wanted to die. How could his life be going so good and now all of a sudden it had all went to shit. He was here, alone again. He felt like at that moment he would never be able to pull himself out of this. Shannon was everything to him. And now apparently, Shannon didn't want him anymore or something. Shannon was avoiding him._

_That school day was one of the longest days of Layne's life. He was so glad when it was over._

_He went straight to his room when he got home, slamming the door and locking it. His mom didn't understand what was going on with him and he didn't want to talk to her about it._

_Layne laid in bed and frowned. Why didn't he just go to Shannon's house and bang on the door and demand answers? He knew where Shannon lived._

_No._

_He couldn't do that. That would add fuel to the fire. That would give Shannon ammunition to humiliate him with. He wouldn't do it. He would just lay here in this bed and hurt. And that's exactly what Layne did. He laid in his bed for the rest of the day, not eating, not talking, just thinking. He only got up to use the bathroom.  
_

* * *

I hugged my mom. I was getting ready to go back to school after being absent for two days. I had my doctor's note to give to the office. Mom kissed my cheek.

"You sure you're ready to go back honey? The doctor said you could take all week off you know?"

"I know mom. I need to see Layne. He probably doesn't know what to think." I smiled softly, hugging her.

"We'll get a phone next week and you can start calling him Shannon." Mom smiled.

"When am I going to be able to meet Layne anyway?" She smiled.

"Soon mom. Soon." I smiled.

We hugged and I grabbed my backpack and started walking to school.

So pretty much I had an episode of PTSD. Mom had gotten off of work that day and saw me sleeping on her bed, cuts all over my arms and chest. She freaked out and she took me to the emergency room. That was a nightmare and they had me under suicide watch while they found a doctor who I could talk to.

So now I had a psychiatrist here. I felt crazy. I was supposed to be staying out of school for the whole week but I need to see Layne. I had just left without telling him anything. I have to tell him now. He needs to know so he can understand.

I had on a long sleeved flannel buttoned up shirt to hide my cuts. Mom was worried about me, I could tell she didn't want me going to school. I assured her I would be okay.

I made my way to the school and entered. I went to the office to hand in my sick note and then made my way to my locker. I got the books out and made my way to my first class. I felt so nervous as I walked in. I was anxious to see Layne. I hoped he wouldn't be too pissed off at me. If I could just explain things to him then he would understand. I waited patiently, tapping my foot vigorously as I waited for him to arrive to class. I furrowed my brows as the bell rang and Layne's desk was empty.

I tapped my desk as time went on by. I kept glancing over at Layne's desk.

This was bullshit. Where was Layne? I needed to see him. By the end of class, I knew I couldn't wait for the school day to be over. I rushed out of class and to my locker, putting my books in my locker.

Fuck it, I was gonna try it.

I walked right out of the school and started walking down the street to Layne's house. Fuck school, I needed to see Layne, I hadn't seen him in almost 2 days. I couldn't fucking wait anymore. Was he sick or something?

My heart started beating fast as I made my way to Layne's house. I stood there from a distance and scoped his house out, looking around. There was a car in his yard. One of his parents were home. Fuck they wouldn't let me in to see him on a fucking school day probably. I looked at his house. I squinted my eyes. I could make out his bedroom window. I had an idea.

I looked around and then ran across the street to his house. I started climbing the side of his house, hoisting myself onto the roof. I made my way over to his bedroom window. Thank god I had an athletic background. I would do anything to see Layne at this point.

I kneeled down, looking inside of the window. I could make out a body in Layne's bed.

It was him! My heart felt warm. I could make out his hair. His beautiful hair. I wanted to just drape it over my face. I was a bit too ecstatic as I started banging on his window.

"Layne! Layne!" I called, banging on the window.

I tried to open it but I couldn't from the outside.

"Layne open the window! Let me in!" I exclaimed, banging.

I saw the body in the bed stir. I was so fucking happy. I was finally gonna see Layne.

Layne rolled over in his bed, eyes tired. He squinted at the window, his hair disheveled. I smiled and waved and motioned for him to pull the window up.

Layne slowly sat up, yawning, and holding his head in his hands. I bit my lip and furrowed my brows. Was my poor baby sick? I would make him better! My heart was practically beating out of my chest as Layne slowly made his way over to the window. He looked at me and I looked at him.

I furrowed my brows. Layne looked like shit. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep and his usually shiny hair was real greasy. He must be sick.

Layne looked at me with a frown on his face. He had never looked at me like that before. Oh boy, he must be mad with me.

He opened the window slightly. I heard his voice.

"What are you doing here?" He frowned.

"I came to see you Layne. I see a car in your yard? Is your mom home or something? Are you sick Layne? What's wrong?" I smiled, trying to lift the window up but Layne slapped my hands.

I looked at Layne, shocked. He gave me this really mean look that kind of hurt my feelings.

"No. I'm home alone. You think you can just fucking come up here to my window like everything's okay and fucking come on in like you didn't do anything!" Layne said angrily.

"Layne...Layne I need to talk to you. I'm sorry. C'mon Layne don't be like that. Let me in I really need to talk to you." I begged.

Layne frowned and closed the window shut, turning his back.

I frantically knocked on the window. "Layne! Layne babe, c'mon!" I pouted.

Layne turned around and flipped me off, mouthing the words "fuck you."

It felt like a dagger in my heart. He walked out of his room. I just sat there on his roof, feeling numb.

"What the fuck." I sighed.

Layne was being difficult. He just needed to listen to my explanation. He didn't understand. He just didn't understand.

I made my way back down to his yard. I went up to the front door, ringing the doorbell for ten minutes straight but no one came to the door. I knocked and begged and pleaded.

I was feeling anxious. Layne was my only friend. I couldn't lose him. I was determined to talk to him. I couldn't lose him. I started feeling a lump form in my throat as I thought about how I could get into this house and talk to Layne. I started searching all around the front porch, picking up potted plants and mats, feeling all around the door frame, checking every window seal and nook and cranny, but I didn't find a spare key. I bit my lip and ran up to the fence that covered the backyard. I climbed up it and jumped it, running in the backyard. I was going to get in here and see Layne somehow dammit! I ran to the backdoor and tried to open it but it was locked. I did the same thing, checking around the doorframe for a key, picking up knick knacks that sat on the porch. No luck. I sighed and put my hand to my forehead. I think I was going to cry.

I kicked the mat and it rolled over and something shiny and gold plated caught my eye. A key! I desperately picked it up and shoved it in the doorknob, jiggling it until the door unlocked. I opened the door lightly and entered quietly, slowly shutting the door behind me, wincing when the latch made a loud noise. I set the key on the counter and made my way through the kitchen.

My heart broke when I heard sobs coming from the living room. I walked in slowly, seeing Layne curled up in a ball on the couch, his hand over his face. He looked so broken. Fuck what the fuck had I done?

I walked over.

"Layne." I said standing there, hands in my pocket, looking at him.

Layne jumped and backed up as far as he could into the corner of the couch, looking up at me with tear stained eyes.

"How the fuck did you get in here!?" He frowned, looking away from me.

"Spare key in the backyard. Babe. I need to talk to you." I said sadly, sitting on the couch and sliding near him.

"Don't fucking touch me." He frowned, putting his face in his hands.

"Layne...I need to talk to you. I can explain everything. I'm so sorry I left..." I started.

"What are you gonna do? Fucking break up with me? Just fucking get outta here. Go away." Layne cowered in the corner of the couch.

That fucking hurt. His words hurt me. He didn't fucking see how I felt for him? I fucking climbed the side of his house trying to get into his fucking room for fuck's sake. He had my eyes tearing up.

"Break up? What the fuck are you talking about Layne? I'm not breaking up with you! How could you fucking say that? I fucking love you Layne!" I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"You sure have a shitty way of showing it, fucking leaving right after we had sex. Staying gone for 2 fucking days. I'm so confused Shannon, was I not good enough?" Layne sobbed, running his hands through his hair.

"Of course you were fucking good enough. You were fucking great Layne. What the fuck are you talking about? I wouldn't have fucked you if I didn't love you!" I pleaded.

Layne wiped his eyes, sniffling and looked at me.

It was my turn to be the desperate one now.

"I fucking love you Layne? Why do I need to keep proving it to you? Why can't you just accept the fact that I love you!? I'll let you fuck me! You can fuck me!" I exclaimed, grabbing his wrists.

Layne looked at me with a furrowed brow and sniffled.

"Why did you leave though? That hurt me so much when I woke up and you weren't there." Layne said softly.

"I...I had to go home." I started, looking down. "I had to go home Layne."

"But why?" Layne said sadly, not understanding.

I looked into his eyes and sighed. I slid closer to him, never taking my gaze off of his. I pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss. I sucked on his bottom lip as we pulled away and looked at him. He blinked and smiled a little. I smiled a little too.

"Fuck me?" I asked softly, looking straight into Layne's eyes.

He sniffled.

"Are you serious?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." I smiled.

I had a one track mind right about then. I had forgotten I was supposed to explain things to Layne.

"Well. Okay. Let's go to my room." Layne said softly.

I stood up, and then Layne. He took my hand as we went upstairs silently. I sat on Layne's bed. Layne looked at me.

"I need to take a bath Shannon. Seriously." He smiled.

"Okay. That's fine." I smiled looking at him lovingly.

He walked out of the room. I frantically undressed, looking down at the slightly faded cuts all over my arms and chest. Fuck. I didn't care. I opened Layne's nightstand drawer and smiled when I saw our lube was still in there. I set it on the nightstand and I got under Layne's covers, naked. I felt excited. We were here, skipping school and alone in Layne's house. We could make as much noise as we wanted. I remembered the gift I had for Layne and I leaned over and fished around in my pants pockets until I found it. I set it on his side of the bed. I waited patiently for my boyfriend to reemerge.

Minutes later I looked up to see Layne standing in the doorway, his hands on either side of the frame. His hair was wavy and had volume in it now. He must have blow-dried it. He was stark naked, smiling at me as he stood there.

"C'mon babe." I smiled patting his side of the bed.

He came towards me, his brows furrowing when he saw all the cuts on my arms.

"Shannon...what the fuck is that?" He asked, brows furrowed, running his hand down my left arm slowly.

"I'll explain later Layne. Remember, fuck. fuck fuck. You're going to fuck me. Don't be a boner killer babe. I just want to feel you inside of me right now." I said looking into his eyes.

He smiled warmly and jumped into the bed beside me.

"What's this?" He said picking up the box and looking at it curiously.

"Open it." I smiled.

Layne looked at me with a furrowed brow and then back down to the box. He slowly opened it, gasping when he saw what was inside. I couldn't control my giggles as I saw his face light up.

"Shannon...you didn't have to...oh my god...how did you get this?" Layne asked, looking at me with a big smile on his face.

I blushed.

"My mom gave me some money...and I just decided to spend it on you..."

"I love it. It's pretty." Layne blushed.

I took the bracelet out of the box and hooked it around Layne's wrist, kissing it and looking at him. It was a white gold chain bracelet. Layne looked at his wrist.

"No one's ever gotten me a gift before..." Layne said, mesmerized by his new bracelet.

He looked at me with a huge smile.

"I'll have to get you something now."

I leaned forward, cupping his face in my hand and pressed my lips to his softly.

"No you don't. You are my gift." I almost whispered as I kissed him passionately.

Boy was I on a roll.

Layne moaned softly under my lips. My other hand snaked down to his erection, slowly stroking it. He arched his back and gasped against my mouth as I began to touch him. He bucked into my touch. I moved my lips to his neck as I continued working him with my hand, sucking on his soft skin. Layne had his hands on my waist as I left hickeys on his neck. I pulled away and looked at him.

"You ready for some foreplay?" I asked softly.

Layne nodded shyly, looking at me. I slowly got on my hands and knees, sticking my ass in the air. I looked at Layne.

"Go ahead. You remember how it felt for you? Show me what I did." I smiled warmly.

Layne threw the box that the bracelet came in on the floor. He crawled on his knees over to my ass. I felt him slowly put his hands on my ass cheeks and pull them apart.

I braced for the impact of his tongue, but after a few minutes, nothing happened. I lifted my head and looked back.

"Babe. What are you doing?" I asked.

"Are you aware you have some sort of birthmark back here? At least, that's what I hope it is." Layne replied.

I flinched when I felt him scratching the side of my ass cheek.

"Nope, its still there, it's a birthmark."

I looked back to see him curiously sniffing his finger.

"LAYNE! Stop fucking around! Just do it!" I groaned.

Layne jumped and squeezed my ass.

"Okay okay..Okay. Here we go." He said nervously.

I put my face in the pillow and I flinched when I felt something wet and soft running down my crack. He stopped halfway down and moved back up.

I shifted a bit and Layne kept doing this. Eventually I groaned.

"Layne! Don't be shy, there's a whole playground down there!" I was frustrated.

Layne pulled off. "Calm down Shannon." He frowned.

I felt his tongue press against my crack once again. It slowly slid down.

"Keep going...keep going, STOP!" I exclaimed.

I felt Layne's tongue right on my anus.

"Press your tongue against that. Don't be shy." I directed Layne.

Layne let out a shaky sigh as I felt his tongue start to slowly prod my opening.

"Harder babe, I know you can use that tongue harder than that." I sighed, moving my hips back lightly.

Layne started pressing his tongue against me with more force.

"Suck on it Layne." I moaned lightly.

I felt Layne's nose press against my crack as his lips started sucking on my opening.

"Fuck yeah that's it Layne. It feels so fucking good." I bit my lip pushing back into his mouth.

Layne laughed around my anus and then pulled off, making a loud popping sound.

"Hand me the lube?" He asked softly.

I smirked and grabbed it, throwing it Layne's way.

I looked over to see Layne coating his fingers.

"Use one finger first Layne." I replied.

Layne bit his lip and slowly ran a wet finger up my ass, stopping at the opening. He slowly started pushing it in. I moaned and arched my back. Layne slowly thrust it in and out.

"You're doing good baby. That's so good. Add another finger." I moaned after a few minutes.

Layne gasped as he forced another finger inside of me.

"It's like, pushing back at me..." He giggled.

"That's why you gotta work it. Fuck it harder!" I moaned, pushing back on his fingers.

Layne started picking up the pace.

"Scissor your fingers like this." I directed him, holding my hand up and making a gesture at him.

I arched my back as I felt Layne's fingers inside of me, preparing me.

"Enough of this babe, get your cock ready." I smiled, looking back at Layne.

I could have sworn I felt Layne shaking as I saw him get the lube and put more on his hand. I looked back to make sure he was doing it properly.

"Yeah just like that, good. Okay, now all you have to do is push in babe." I smiled at him.

He smiled warmly, flipping his hair back. I stuck my ass out, putting my face in the pillow again.

I felt Layne come near me. I could feel the heat in his groin radiating on my ass. He started running his cock down my crack, letting out a shaky breath.

"Babe keep going, keep going...okay stop! Push it in." I said softly, directing him.

I felt Layne pushing his tip against my opening but nothing was happening. He whined lightly.

"why isn't it going in?" He asked.

"Move it up and down just slightly." I replied.

Layne did what I said, moving his tip up and down lightly while still pressing against me.

I gasped and he let out a shaky moan as he finally penetrated me, his slick meat sliding into my tight hole.

I felt him fill me up and I moaned, biting my lip. I could feel him shaking uncontrollably.

"Shannnon...holy fuck...I've never felt like this before...oh my god it's so good..." Layne moaned.

He wasn't even moving in me yet and he was moaning.

"Move it back and forth babe. Fuck me." I said softly.

Layne whimpered as he started slowly moving his cock back and forth inside of me.

"Shannon...FUCK!" Layne nearly screamed, shaking against me.

I could feel Layne's balls jerking as he was buried in me.

"Did you fucking...cum already?" I asked, dissapointed.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Layne quickly pulled away from me, laying on the bed, not facing me.

"Layne...fuck, was that your first time ever sticking your dick in something?" I smirked, putting my hand on his hip.

"Yes..." He was crying.

"Babe...it's okay. It's okay..." I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Why didn't you tell me, we could have went about this way differently, saved you alot of build up." I chuckled, biting his ear lightly and pulling.

"I don't know. I suck at this." Layne pouted, his chest moving up and down.

"It feels really good doesn't it?" I smirked. "Doesn't it?" I said softly, grabbing Layne's cock.

Layne jumped and turned his head to look at me, nodding slowly. "Fuck yes." He said softly.

"You wanna try again. We have all day. We're here all day, alone. We can try again. C'mon, get it up again." I smiled softly.

Layne smiled and turned around now. I leaned down and kissed him as I started stroking his semi hard cock.

* * *

"Shannon, fuck, oh my god!" Layne nearly screamed as he shoved his dick in my ass. Second time was a charm, he had paced himself and he was enjoying it.

I smiled as I jerked myself off. The bed shook as Layne fucked me hard. He pushed down on my lower back as he jerked himself off in my ass.

"You almost there?" I asked softly.

"MMM HMM." Layne moaned.

We had been at this for an almost an hour. Layne had been fucking me for almost an hour.

"Fuck...I'm finished.." Layne moaned as he jerked his hips, shaking against me, moaning.

He pulled out of me, breathing hard and fell onto the bed beside me in a heap. He was drenched with sweat as he stared at the ceiling. I quickly turned on my back, jerking myself off.

"Layne you were so fucking good. My ass is so raw." I moaned as I stroked myself.

I felt Layne throw an arm over my stomach and cuddle up to me. It wasn't long before I was there, shooting my load between my legs and on the bed. I dropped my arm over the side of the bed, laying there lazily, breathing hard, looking over at Layne.

Layne was back to his usual bright self.

"I took your dick virginity." I breathed, smiling.

"Guess you did. It feels so fucking great...so tight around my dick...I fucking love it." Layne smiled, cuddling up against me.

I lazily pulled his sheet up over our waists. I was so tired. I was so content and tired. Me and Layne lay against each other as we fell asleep in his bed.

We forgot to close his door and lock it before we fell asleep, we were so into what we were doing.

* * *

I furrowed my brows as I felt something poking my ass cheek. Layne was stirring beside me as well. I felt alot of air on my ass cheek.

I slowly turned around, opening my tired eyes to look up at Layne's sister.

She looked down my body and furrowed a brow. I quickly realized what was going on. I squealed as I grabbed the sheet that had somehow fallen off of my body and covered myself up.

"Ew OMG. Shannon did you and my brother have sex?" Liz asked furrowing her brow.

Layne suddenly shot up, hair disheveled, eyes red from sleep and looked over at Liz.

"LIZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? GET OUT!" He screamed.

"The door was wide fucking open Layne. Oh mah god, did you two skip school to have sex in here all day? I'm gonna tell mom on you!" She frowned.

"Liz don't fucking do that. C'mon. Get out of here!" Layne said softly.

"I'm gonna tell mom unless you do anything I say!" She teased.

"Liz, leave him alone. C'mon please get out of here. I'm sorry you had to see this. We've been through alot lately. We just needed some alone time. C'mon be cool." I pouted, looking at Layne's sister.

She squinted her eyes at me.

"Fine, I'm going to my room. But I want 50 bucks Layne. 50 bucks and I won't tell mom your in your room having a fuck fest with Shannon!"

"Deal deal, just get out!" Layne said desperately.

Liz stuck her tongue out at us and left out, closing the door behind her.

"Fuck. We fell asleep and slept late." Layne said softly, smiling.

"No shit. Wow. MMM How you feeling baby?" I asked softly.

"Like a new fucking person. I feel so good. I'm so glad you came back Shannon. I was freaking out for the past 2 days. I didn't know if you hated me or what." Layne pouted.

I leaned in and kissed him. "Don't worry babe, mom said we're getting a phone within the next few weeks, so I can call you and give you a heads up on these things."

"You gonna tell me where you were and what happened?" Layne pouted, running his fingers over my cuts again and pouting.

I sighed.

Wow I had just opened up Layne to a whole new world of experiences and the first thought in his head was wanting to know where I was.

"Let's get dressed and then I'll explain everything." I said, pressing my nose to his.

This was it. I was gonna tell him. I was nervous. I didn't know how he would react. Would he start treating me differently after I told him? Would he not want to be with me anymore? My heart started racing as I thought about these things.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Layne. I know your secret. I know your secret babe." I finally said. Layne looked up at me with furrowed brows. "My secret? What secret?" He asked at first.

I chickened out. I didn't tell him. I made up some bullshit story about how I forgot I had to be home before my mother got off of work because we had something to do, and that I had fell off of his house at some point and onto the bushes, and that's how I got the cuts. I told him I wasn't at school for 2 days because Mom's 2nd cousin's uncle died. I made up something ridiculous like that and Layne seemed to believe me. I didn't want to tell him yet, we were so perfect at that moment. Layne was so perfect, he was so happy. I didn't want to do anything to tarnish his perfect world. He was perfect, we were perfect...

* * *

Me and Layne stood in the courtyard of the school. We were on our break between classes. Layne had his hair pulled back into a ponytail, hair hanging down in his face. He had on a white t shirt and tight acid wash jeans, with combat boots on over them. He was smoking hot that day. I myself had done something different with my hair. I had it tied into pigtails, done by Layne's sister. My attire consisted of the same old shit, flannel shirt, baggy shorts with long-johns underneath and combat boots.

I stood against the tree that was in the courtyard. Layne stood in front of me, his back to the crowd out there. I had my arms around him, on his ass. Layne's confidence had skyrocketed ever since he fucked me. He was taller, he was brighter. He sucked on a bright red, heart shaped sucker, looking me in my eyes and smiling. His bracelet shimmered when it hit the sunlight.

Layne's eyes squinted at me as he moved the sucker around in his mouth. I could hear it clinking against his teeth. He pulled it out and held it to my mouth. I smirked and sucked on it, looking Layne straight into his eyes. He giggled and pulled it out, putting an arm around me, the other holding the sucker away from us as he leaned in, kissing my lips. He tilted his head and sucked on my lips. I squeezed his ass.

"Yummy..." Layne whispered, putting the heart shaped sucker back in his mouth.

I waited patiently and once he took the sucker out of his mouth, I leaned in and kissed him again, tugging on his bottom lip. As I pulled away, I just happened to look over his shoulder. I saw Ryder and the gang watching us. I smirked. Layne put his sucker back in his mouth and curiously looked back to see what I was staring at. He looked over his shoulder at them and then back at me, burying his face in my neck as I had my arms wrapped around him.

I'd give them something to talk about. I smiled and waved at Ryder and slapped Layne's ass. Layne jumped and giggled into my neck.

"What are you doing Shannon?" He asked, the candy in his mouth.

"Nothing babe. Just showing you off a little bit."

Layne smiled and hugged me again. We stood there hugging and swaying from side to side when suddenly we were surrounded by guys.

"Look at you two." One of them said.

I furrowed my brows slightly. I knew Layne knew these guys but I forgot how and who they were. Layne pulled away and looked around, smiling. He handed me the sucker and I put it in my mouth as I watched him give these guys a hug.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a pang of jealousy.

"Yanni, Nick! Hi! I haven't seen you guys in a while!" Layne exclaimed.

Oh yeah, Layne's band mates.

"What's been going on? Has everything been going good?" Layne smiled, hands on his hips.

I crunched on the sucker and then threw the stick to the ground.

"Yeah man, yeah. School's keeping us busy. We've been practicing our instruments everyday. Man I can't wait until the summer so we can get the band going again." Yanni smiled.

"Me neither." Layne smiled.

"You look great Layne. We've been seeing you around with your boyfriend here. You guys are like the hottest couple in school." Yanni smirked looking over at me.

"Shut up...no we're not." Layne giggled, putting his hands to his mouth.

He was so fucking happy.

I looked over to see Ryder still fucking looking over at us.

"What's that fucker keep staring at?" I said irritably.

Yanni looked over and then looked back at us.

"Oh he's so fucking jealous of you guys. I wouldn't worry about him."

Yanni patted Layne's shoulder. "We need to catch up Layne. Shannon right?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"You and Shannon, me and Nick." He smiled.

Layne scratched his head. "Yeah we should. That sounds like fun."

Nick and Layne walked off to go to the bathroom and talk and it was just me and Yanni standing there.

Yanni ran his hands through his black hair. He smiled at me. I smiled back at him as we stood there awkwardly. I had never really spoken to him before.

"So Shannon. You really like Layne huh?" Yanni asked.

I furrowed a brow and looked at him.

"Um. Yeah. I don't mean to be rude, but what the fuck kind of question is that? You don't know me." I smiled a little.

"Yeah I know, but Layne's my best friend. I've known Layne for a long time. I'm just concerned I guess. I just want to make sure he doesn't get hurt again." Yanni replied.

We stood there looking at Ryder talking to his cronies. They were smoking cigarettes. They thought they were so fucking cool looking. They weren't even really smoking them. They were just sucking the smoke in and holding it in their mouths and blowing it back out.

"I fucking love Layne. Layne's everything to me." I replied.

Me and Yanni looked at each other. It was as if he was looking into my eyes to see if I was lying. He smiled warmly after a minute. I smiled back at him.

"You know, this is good for Layne. I can see a change in him. He looks so confident. He doesn't care what anyone thinks. I've seen you two around school. You give Layne the attention he deserves. He looks so happy. I can't wait to play with him in the band again. I bet his performances are gonna really rock this summer." Yanni replied.

"Yeah well that's because he's getting some." I bragged.

Okay. I couldn't help it.

Yanni chuckled. "That's so sweet. I'm so happy for him, for you guys. He's doing so much better than he was this time last year. Last year he was nearly ready to kill himself."

I furrowed my brows.

"Kill himself? What?" I asked.

Yanni looked at me. "Oh yeah. Didn't he tell you he was dating Ryder over there for a little while?"

I looked over at that jerk. I looked back at Yanni.

"Well yeah, he told me a little bit about it. Not much really." I replied.

"I told Layne he should have told his mom what Ryder did to him. He was too scared. He just didn't want to deal with it, he was just too damned scared. Me and Nick were gonna beat him up, but Layne wouldn't let us. Layne just wanted to avoid the whole ordeal. Who knows what would have happened if me and Nick weren't at that party that night..." Yanni rambled on.

I could feel my heart get lodged in my throat. What was this guy going on about? What the fuck had Ryder done to Layne? I myself was going to beat his ass but Layne had chickened out.

"What happened?" I asked.

Did I really want to know? Should I really be knowing? Layne had never talked about this to me before.

Yanni started spilling the beans.

"I would have thought that Layne would have told you Shannon. I'm gonna tell you, I think you should know. Don't tell him I told you.

Layne was fucking head over heels in love with Ryder. I don't think Ryder ever liked Layne the way Layne liked him. Layne can't help it. His family dynamics have never really been up to par. Layne's just looking for love. Layne needs to be loved. You seem to be giving him that. He looks so happy.

He loved his real dad. They were tight. His real dad started getting into drugs though. Layne was about 9 or 10 I think...he saw his dad shooting up with a needle. That traumatized him. Eventually his dad just started staying away from home more and more. It was like Layne was so close to his dad one day and then the next day his dad just, disappeared. His mom was a wreck. Layne's dad is pretty much a crack head. I think he was about 12 or 13 when his mom had finally had enough. She really traumatized poor Layne. She told him and Liz that their dad had died.

Layne knew that was bullshit. Layne knew his dad wasn't dead. I guess his mom was so messed up from their father leaving her she just wanted them to forget about him. Within 6 months of divorcing Layne's dad, his mom got remarried. It was really hard on Layne. He used to cry everyday at school. Layne was really close to his dad before his dad got into drugs. He doesn't know where his dad is, it's like he fell off the face of the earth.

Well the point of that is, that's why Layne acts sort of...how do I put it, chipper? Obsessive? Because he's just looking for that extra love. He just wants to be loved.

Well, Ryder really would fuck with Layne's head Shannon. He had Layne stealing for him, he had Layne doing his homework. Layne was so in love with him. We tried to tell Layne that Ryder was just using him, but he wouldn't hear it. He was just so happy to have a boyfriend. Ryder didn't walk with him like you walk around school with him.

You walk around pretty much showing Layne off. That's so cool. Layne would be tagging along behind Ryder most of the time. It was real heartbreaking to watch. Me and Nick saw Ryder let the door slam in Layne's face before, making Layne drop all of his books. He was so shitty to Layne. Layne stopped talking to us for a while when he was with Ryder.

Well one night, me and Nick decide to go to this party that someone was throwing. We had heard there was gonna be beer there. We show up at the thing and we're hanging out and we suddenly see Layne and Ryder and his friend Kayden, holding Layne up. Layne looked shitfaced. We had never seen Layne look like that before, so it was fucking shocking.

We just stood there, watching this scene unfold. Layne threw up in the middle of the floor, and those guys just laughed at him. Layne was on the floor, trying to get up, and they wouldn't help him.

My biggest regret is walking out of that room. Me and Nick fucking left Layne there. We were doing our own thing at the party.

Later in the night, I had somehow lost Nick, so I went around looking for him. I walked upstairs, opening every door, calling his name. I opened this one door to this bedroom...and I almost left him there. I almost didn't notice.

I heard him crying. I had never heard Layne cry like this before. It was as if he couldn't breathe or something. I walked into the room, turning the light on, closing the door. I walked in and there Layne was, on the floor, curled up in a ball, naked. Buck ass naked Shannon. He was shaking so bad. He was shaking like he was having a seizure. He held his hand out to me. I guess he didn't know who I was.

I'll never forget the sight. He told me "Please don't hurt me. Please no more." I remember rushing down to him, picking him up, hugging him, telling him it was me. I asked him where his clothes were, I asked him what had happened. He held onto me for dear life. He held onto me so hard he nearly left bruises.

Shannon they had fucking gang banged Layne. They had got him drunk, and they fucking gang-banged him.

I remember Layne gagging when he told me about it. I thanked the lord I was wearing long johns that night. I took my shorts off and I took my shirt off and gave it to him so he could have clothes on so I could get him out of there.

Ryder and Kayden fucking raped him. He didn't fucking consent to Kayden shoving his cock in his mouth while Ryder fucking shoved his cock in Layne's ass!

He really tore Layne up. Layne was bleeding back there.

I was gonna tell. Layne begged me for his life for me not to tell anyone. Layne didn't want to tell anyone what the fucker did to him.

Ryder and his fucking friends prance around like their the shit. They fucking nearly broke Layne. I don't understand Layne. I don't understand how he could bounce from that.

Ryder started going around telling everyone Layne was a whore. He went around spreading lies about Layne. No one wanted to be around Layne.

Layne was so fucked up. He would cry everyday in front of everyone. He didn't fucking care. Everyone thought he was fucking crazy. It was sad the way Ryder fucking ruined his reputation.

Layne wouldn't let us do anything about it. Ryder seems to have backed off a bit since Layne started seeing you.

Layne tried to fucking kill himself Shannon. Layne was out of school for like 2 months last year.

He found his mom's anxiety pills, and he took the whole bottle. He was in like a fucking coma. We didn't even know what was going on. He was gone for 2 months and then he just came back. That's when he told us what he had done.

Shannon I'm so glad you came into his life. He looks so happy. He needed someone like you. I tried to tell him, he was gonna find someone just for him if he waited patiently. He was a little impatient...but you arrived."

Yanni smiled and patted my shoulder.

I meanwhile was in tears at this story. Me and Layne. Me and Layne had more shit in common than I had thought. I put my face in my hands and started sobbing.

"Shit man, you gonna be alright?" Yanni said.

I nodded, wiping my eyes but the tears kept coming. Layne and Nick were making their way across the yard.

"Shannon fuck, I didn't know you were gonna cry...get it together man. If Layne asks what's wrong, don't say anything about what I told you! You promise?" Yanni exclaimed.

I nodded, wiping my eyes. I couldn't control my emotions. Yanni had just told me a story about Layne that I could relate too. I could feel Layne's pain, Layne's humiliation.

I watched my beautiful Layne as he walked back up to me, laughing with Nick.

The break was over, we had to go back to class. I looked at Layne, trying to keep my composure.

Layne's smile faded as he looked at me, his brows furrowed as he looked into my eyes.

"Shanny?" He asked lightly. "Are you crying?"

"No. No I'm not crying." I replied, voice cracking.

Layne could see right through my bullshit.

I couldn't help but sob as Layne pulled me into a hug.

"What's wrong? Shannon what happened? Yanni what did you do to Shannon while we were gone?" Layne asked, brows furrowed as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I don't know. Nothing...Shannon was just fine a minute ago." Yanni said awkwardly.

"Layne I fucking love you so much. I want you to know that." I said, looking into his eyes.

He smiled a little, brows still furrowed. I pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tight.

"Shannon..." Layne said softly, kissing my temple.

I wiped my eyes.

"I'll be okay. It's just, I love you so much..."

I just felt like I needed to keep telling him I loved him.

I wiped my eyes, sniffling, composing myself. I had a big, hard lump in my throat. Yanni and Nick bid their ado's and went off in the opposite direction than us.

We started to walk to class, hand in hand.

"You sure there's nothing wrong?" Layne asked sadly as we made our way to class.

"I'm sure Layne. I'm fine. It's fine. Everything's fine." It took everything in me to hold this emotion back.

We went to our next class, sitting in our seats. As the class went on, I wasn't even listening. I kept replaying over and over in my head what Yanni had told me. I was obsessed with it. I was getting angry.

I sighed loudly in my chair and shifted. Layne glanced at me, a sad look on his face. I took my pigtails out and combed my hands through my hair, putting it in a ponytail bun. I crossed my arms as the teacher rambled on. Fuck this class, there was more serious shit going on in the world. More serious, fucked up, real shit.

I looked down at the desk to see Layne shove a paper in front of me. I looked over to see Layne rubbing his eye as he looked ahead. His lips gave him away. He looked like he was trying not to cry too.

I looked down at the paper, a frown on my face.

__  
Shannon I swear you're mad at me about something. What did I do? Was it because I walked off with Nick and left you alone with Yanni? I'm so sorry  


My heart melted. Poor Layne. I took my pencil out of my pocket and quickly scribbled a message back.

__  
I'm not mad at you babe. You're my fucking world and I love you. I love you so much. I want to get you a necklace to go with your bracelet. Don't you worry your pretty tale off about me. I'm not mad at you. You're so awesome and I love you.  


I slid the note to Layne and I watched him as he read it, smiling. He wrote something down and passed it back to me.

__  
I love you too Shannon. I'm just worried about you, you didn't look so good when I got back from the bathroom with Nick. I told you you don't have to get me stuff...but if you want to get me a matching necklace...I wouldn't mind. :)  


I chuckled lightly to myself as I read it. I wrote back.

__  
I need you to stay with me tonight. At my house.  


I handed it back to Layne. He wrote on it and passed it back to me.

__  
I'm there  


* * *

I couldn't even eat my lunch. By lunchtime I was fuming. I was so angry. How could this fucker have done this to Layne and still be walking around, carefree? How could he live with himself knowing he violated someone's body? How could he have done that to poor, sweet, innocent Layne?

I was so distant. I looked over at Layne. Layne hadn't touched his food either. He stared down at his plate. He eventually looked at me and smiled half heartedly.

I could look at him and tell he was worried about me. Worried about what was going through my head.

"Shannon, what's wrong with you today?" Layne asked softly.

I sat there, my lip quivering. I couldn't lie to him anymore. I couldn't play it off anymore. I looked at him.

I put my hand on his chin and kissed him passionately.

"I really love you Layne. I swear I do." I replied, looking into his blue eyes.

"I'm scared Shannon. Why do you keep saying that?" Layne asked.

I stood up, cracking my knuckles. Layne looked up at me, confused as all hell.

"Layne are you gonna come to my house tonight? Please promise me you'll be there no matter what. I need you to stay with me tonight." I replied.

"I promise Shannon. I promise I'll be there. What's going on Shannon? Are you leaving school early?" Layne asked.

I looked over at Ryder and then back down at Layne.

"Layne. I know your secret. I know your secret babe." I finally said.

Layne looked up at me with furrowed brows. "My secret? What secret?" He asked at first.

I looked down at him, tears pouring down my face. Layne's face flushed. I stared him straight in his eyes.

"Layne. I know what he did to you. I know what happened. You were ra-"

Layne shoved his fingers in his ears, closing his eyes tight as tears poured down his face.

"Shut the fuck up Shannon! Shut the fuck up! You don't know! You don't know!" Layne exclaimed, putting his head on the table.

I wiped my eyes and put my hand on Layne's back. I sat back down.

"Baby...baby...trust me. Please you can trust me." I said softly, pulling his finger out of his ear.

Layne sat up, his hand to his forehead. He was shaking hard.

"How'd you find out, who fucking told you? Who fucking told you?" Layne demanded, his eyes teary.

"Yanni." I said. I couldn't lie to him. I loved him.

Layne's eyes closed, his lip trembling as he sobbed.

"I didn't want you to know Shannon. I didn't want you to know. If you knew, we wouldn't be where we are now. Oh my god..." Layne was freaking out.

I pulled him into a hug.

"Calm down baby. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Please promise me again. Just promise that you'll still love me and you'll come to my house tonight." I cooed.

Layne was still shaking as he nodded. "I'm coming over. I promise...wait...what do you mean I'll still love you? I'll never stop Shannon."

"You might. You might Layne. Because I can't let him get away with this. Not this. I'm sorry. I can't let him get away with this. Not you. Not my perfect angel. I'm gonna go make things better. I'm gonna make him suffer like you had to suffer." I cried, looking at him.

I stood up. Layne stared up at me, shaking. I kissed my fingers and pressed them to Layne's lips. Layne's eyes fell closed and tears poured down his eyes.

I turned and started walking away. I don't think it dawned on Layne what was coming at first. When I got a few paces away from the table, that's when I heard Layne yell.

"No Shannon! Please don't do it! Shannon no!"

I was almost near him, across the cafeteria. I suddenly felt someone grab my arm. I stopped in my tracks and looked at Layne.

"Shannon don't do this! Please, I'm begging you. Let's just go to your place now. Let's just leave school and talk about this. Please Shannon!" Layne cried hysterically.

I looked at him and shook my head.

"I can't Layne. I can't let this go. I'm sorry babe." I said.

Layne's expression changed to anger.

"If you do this Shannon Hoon, I never want to see you again. This is none of your fucking business! Stay the fuck out of it!"

His words hurt me. I guess people reacted to their issues differently. Layne was about as wacko as me.

"Layne I'm gonna do it. You can't stop me. Nothing you say's gonna change my mind. You deserve justice. You didn't get any. I'm gonna get you some justice." I said sadly.

Layne frowned.

"I'm gonna kill myself if you do this. I'm gonna fucking kill myself!" Layne exclaimed.

"Don't do that. I'd miss you too much. I'm so in love with you Layne." I said sadly.

Layne frowned at me. I could tell he knew that there was no changing my mind.

He held his wrist up, a frown on his face as he took the bracelet off I had given him. He threw it at me.

"Fuck you Shannon. I fucking hate you, I fucking hate Yanni for telling you my business. I fucking hate this school. I fucking hate my life!" Layne started crying and he ran off.

I stood there, staring down at the bracelet. I picked it up and held it in my hand, looking into space. What had just happened here? I wasn't sure.

I would know tonight. I would know. If he showed up, that meant he still loved me.

* * *

It was like slow motion as I approached Ryder's table. I was in a blind rage. I didn't care. First I grabbed this Kayden character by the shirt and punched him. Everyone at the table jumped up and jumped back. I took his plate and shoved it in his face. The cafeteria started to get loud as I raced for the ringleader. I thanked god he teased his hair because that was how I caught him.

He tried to get away from me but I grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back.

It was bittersweet as I grabbed him by his shirt collar and looked him into his eyes.

"So you like to rape huh? I heard you like to rape people." I spat in his face.

"Hey man, what are you talking about!?" Ryder exclaimed.

"I heard about what you did to Layne. It was only a matter of time before he told me. You knew this day was coming someday." I said, punching him in the face.

He cried out.

"Layne's a fucking liar. I didn't fucking rape him! He was begging for it man. Honest. He's a fuckin' whore! He's a fuckin' freak...you augta know that by now!" Ryder exclaimed.

Was he fucking stupid or what?

"Don't you fucking talk about him like that!" I exclaimed, punching him across the face again as I held him by his shirt.

He collapsed on the ground. I straddled him and started punching him blindly.

"This one's for the cock that was in his mouth! This one's for the dick that was in his ass! This one's for when you took his clothes and fucking left him there. And this one's for the hurt and the grief you've put him through!"

The last punch was hard. There was blood everywhere. I started choking him before I was tackled by a security guard and handcuffed.

I was in so much trouble. I had fucked this guy up. He just laid on the floor of the cafeteria. I spat at him as I was dragged away, handcuffed by security.

* * *

I didn't think this through. Somehow I thought I would be able to avoid all of this since I didn't have a phone number on record for me yet, even though I had a phone at home now. They made me sit in a room. They wouldn't let me go anywhere until I told them where my mother worked.

I thought they would just call the phony number I gave them and leave a message on someone's answering machine and then I would be suspended and out of their way and mom would never find out. They fucking called my mom. I wouldn't rat Layne out. I wouldn't say why I beat Ryder up. And I hoped by the beating that he took, he wouldn't open his fucking mouth either. Why would he? He'd be in trouble too if he did.

Sure enough, my mother rushed in, hugging me and I started bawling like a baby, tugging at her heart strings. I made it sound good. I made it sound like my PTSD had something to do with why I snapped on him.

I made some phony story up of he looked at me the wrong way. They bought it.

I was so glad when this agonizing interrogation was over. Layne's name was not mentioned once. I put it all on me.

In the end, I got 2 weeks suspension and a warning that if I did something like this again, I would be under review for expulsion.

* * *

The car ride back to our apartment was silent. It was only about a 15 minute ride. I stared out the window thinking of Layne. Where was he? What was he doing. I reached in my pocket and pulled the bracelet out. I hooked it around my own wrist with one hand and looked at it. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

I sure hope he didn't mean what he said when he said he didn't want to see me again. I hope he would show up tonight.

I felt exhausted. Anger always made me so exhausted. I wanted to lay down. I wanted to lay down with Layne. I wanted to feel his skin. I wanted to smell his hair. I wanted to run my hand up and down his tight torso.

As soon as I got to my room, I slammed the door and sunk down to the floor, crying. I rubbed the bracelet to my face.

Please Layne come back.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know. I know you want to talk about it but it's just hard okay? It's hard for me to talk about it. I'm just fine Shannon. I just want to be with you and I just want to forget about it."

_4 Days Later_

Mom was at work. Mom was always at work. I wish she could just stay home with me and get paid to do that. Layne never showed. My heart was broken, so I guess he really did dump me.

I wasn't sure if this was all worth it, losing Layne.

I wanted to just go to his house and wait on the porch all day until he came home from school. I knew I shouldn't do it. I needed to respect my mom. She grounded me. I kept busy by cleaning up.

Our apartment had really come together in the past few months. We had furniture and cable and a phone. I was finally getting an allowance so I had money in my pocket now. Figures now that I have all the good stuff in my life again, I'm alone.

I finally got around to straightening up my room. I had a bedframe now. My bed was an actual bed. I had a dresser, I had a place to put my clothes. I finally sorted the clothes piled on the floor, putting some in the closet and putting the rest in the drawers. I had a desk. I had a floor!

The only thing missing was Layne. I wanted Layne under my sheets, naked and writhing for me.

I walked around spraying air freshener as I finished cleaning up. The silence was piercing. I put a vase full of flowers I had picked outside for my mom on the coffee table and a note that read: "I love you mom, Shannon."

I stood there observing my work. The place was spotless. I walked into my room and sat at my desk, twiddling my thumbs. This grounded shit was boring. I'd rather be walking around town, finding something to do while I'm suspended. I shuffled some papers around and found pictures of me and Layne.

I set them on the desk in front of me and looked at them. One was of Layne laying down in a sexy pose. He had given this to me shortly after I first fucked him. I smiled to myself, he was so hot. The other one was one of us. I had my arm around him and he was cuddled up to me, smiling.

I smiled to myself. Layne loved taking pictures. I sighed and fondled the bracelet on my wrist. That's when it started to hit me.

Maybe it was really over. Maybe Layne really didn't want me anymore.

I just hadn't really thought about it over the past few days. I was hurt when Layne didn't show up that night but I hadn't really let it set in. I think it was setting in now.

I put my head on the desk as I started to sob. Things were so fucked up and Layne just didn't know. He didn't know that we had similar experiences. He didn't know how special he was to me that I had let him inside of my body merely months after I had been traumatized for life. He had no idea.

I just wanted to sleep. Sleep was good. I would just sleep so I didn't have to live in this reality for the moment. I got up and went over to my bed and took my shirt off, crawling under the covers and just laid there until I finally fell asleep.

* * *

 

Nel arrived home from work. Her job always had her working on different shifts. She couldn't really complain as she had bills to pay. She would work wherever they would put her. She unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped inside, getting ready to unwind after a long day at work. She looked around the apartment and smiled to herself. It was nice and clean. Shannon must have tidied up.

She smiled and held her chest as she saw the flowers on the coffee table and picked up the note and read it. She hugged it before setting it back down and walked over to Shannon's room. The door was open slightly. She slowly opened the door, peeking inside.

She was shocked at how tidy his room was. It had really came together. It looked good. She looked over to see him laying in his bed, snoring lightly. She decided to just let him sleep. She slowly closed his door and went to her bedroom to get ready to take a shower and unwind.

* * *  
 _  
Layne's arms were tired as he carried all of Shannon's books. Layne didn't know what he was doing. He felt crazy. He had dragged a bookbag full of clothes with him to school. He hadn't spoken to Shannon in nearly a week. He wanted Shannon back. He didn't mean anything he said when he yelled at Shannon in the lunchroom. He was just scared about shit hitting the fan._

_He was gonna take a chance. He was gonna trek over to Shannon's and try to make up with him. He was pretty sure Shannon wouldn't be mad at him but he always had that little nagging doubt in the back of his mind. His bookbag was heavy and the books in his arms were heavy._

_He thanked god when he finally reached Shannon's apartment. There was a car in the yard. His mother must have been home. Layne had never met her before. He didn't care. He needed to see Shannon. He came up to the door and knocked on it, almost dropping the books in his hands. He waited patiently. He suddenly heard the latches being fumbled with and his heart rate picked up. He yanked his head sideways right quick, whipping his hair back._

_The door opened and Layne was face to face with Shannon's mother. This was sort of awkward. Layne shrugged his shoulders, trying to get a better grip on the books and to pull the book back up on his shoulders some._

_"Hi." Layne smiled softly at her._

_"Hello. May I help you?" She asked looking at Layne._

_"Oh, um. I'm Shannon's friend Layne, from school." Layne started, voice cracking._

_He almost dropped a book but he caught it, blushing at her._

_"Layne? You're Layne?" Nel asked, smiling warmly looking at Layne._

_Layne looked at her for a sec, brows slightly furrowed. He smiled and nodded. "Um. Yes. I have all of Shannon's work for the week that he's missed. Is Shannon here? Is it okay if we study?"_

_"Sure, sure honey. Oh I'm sorry, come on in. Come in." She smiled, stepping aside._

_Layne walked into the apartment, looking around and smiling. He headed straight for the couch, setting everything down and sighing a sigh of relief as he moved his shoulders around._

_"You're the famous Layne...I'm sorry, this must sound weird. I'm Nel, Shannon's mother." She smiled holding her hand out to Layne._

_Layne blushed and shook her hand._

_"Shannon speaks highly of you. He talks about you all the time in fact. It's so nice to finally meet you honey!" Nel smiled warmly at Layne._

_Layne shrugged his shoulders, blushing and looking at her._

_"Shannon's sleeping right now. Feel free to go back to his room and wake him up. He'll probably be glad to see you." Nel smiled._

_"Are you hungry, do you wanna stay for dinner?" Nel offered._

_Layne smiled and nodded shyly._

_"Oh that's great honey! Can I just give you a hug?" She smiled looking at Layne._

_Layne thought that was kind of weird but he walked over to Shannon's mom anyway._

_Nel hugged Layne._

_"You must be thinking why does his mom want to hug me well Layne honey, you have no idea how happy Shannon is because of you. He's been through alot and when he met you, I started seeing the old Shannon again. I got my Shannon back when you came into his life."_

_Layne smiled awkwardly. He had no idea what Shannon's mom was talking about. She squeezed his shoulder._

_"I'll let you boys get to your studying now." She smiled._

_Layne gathered all of his things and went to Shannon's room, opening the door. His heart jumped when he saw Shannon laying in bed, fast asleep. He hadn't seen Shannon in so long it felt like. He looked around his room, eyes widened._

_Shannon had furniture. Shannon had a bed! Layne was excited, he couldn't wait to get into Shannon's bed. Layne slammed the books down on the desk, dropping his book bag on the floor. He quickly made himself at home. He flipped his hair as he approached the bed. He stood there looking down at Shannon. He bit his lip and smiled when he saw the bracelet on Shannon's wrist. He put his finger to his mouth and with the other hand he shook Shannon._

_"Shannon? Shannon wake up." Layne said softly. He leaned down, kissing Shannon's cheek. "Baby wake up." He said softly into Shannon's ear.  
_

* * *

I stirred, I shivered when I felt a pair of lips on my cheek. I heard a familiar voice. I rolled over, feeling someone run their hand through my hair. I opened my eyes and blinked, slowly looking up.

I couldn't believe what I saw.

"Layne?" I asked softly.

Was I dreaming? Was Layne actually here? Did he actually come and see me?

"Hi." He smiled looking down at me.

I could smell him. He smelled so good. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes and stretching. I felt the bed bounce as Layne jumped on it, crawling on the other side of me.

"You've got a bed now." He smiled, laying back, his legs spread.

I checked him out. He had on a white t shirt and shorts. I don't think I'd ever seen Layne wear shorts since I first met him. They were yellow and had a striped pattern on them.

"Yeah..I got furniture now." I smiled pinching his shorts.

He flinched and smiled shyly at me.

"Those are cute. You look real cute." I smiled, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand.

He bit his lip, his brows furrowing.

"I'm sorry Shannon." He started.

I put my hand on his. He wiggled his toes as he intertwined our fingers.

"Do you still love me?" He asked softly.

"Of course Layne. I never stopped. I knew you'd be back...well I hoped...and you came back...it took a few days but you came back. I'm not sorry for what I did. He got what he deserved." I stated.

Layne's bottom lip quivered a bit. He stared into space.

"I should have never talked to you the way I did. I'm sorry I said I hated you. I don't hate you Shannon. I love you. It's been so boring at school without you there. I brought all of your work for you." Layne smiled.

"Thanks babe." I chuckled lightly.

There was an awkward silence and Layne looked over, still looking down.

"Give me my bracelet back please." He smiled softly.

"Oh, oh of course." I smiled, taking it off of my wrist.

Layne held his wrist out and I hooked it back onto his wrist, kissing it. When I lifted back up, he pressed his lips to mines, kissing me softly. I parted my lips so he could slide his tongue in.

We made out softly before pulling away slowly, looking at each other. Layne licked his lips.

"Where's my necklace? Did you get it yet?" He asked softly.

I chuckled at him. "No babe. But we can get it this weekend or something. You're fucking spoiled you know that?" I smiled wrapping my arm around him.

Layne smiled and hugged me sideways.

"Your mom says I can stay for dinner." Layne smiled.

Mom? I furrowed my brows, I was half sleep still.

"You talked to my mom?" I asked, surprised.

"Well yeah, she let me in. I think she's in love with me. She wanted to hug me and everything." Layne smirked.

I put my hand over my face and laughed lightly. I leaned over and kissed Layne.

"Do you think she'll let me spend the night here for a couple of days?" Layne asked.

"I don't know, I'll ask her later." I smiled. "Most likely yes though."

Layne put his hand on my shoulder as I held him close to me.

"I'm horny Shannon. I wanna feel you in me." He whispered.

I smirked. "Tonight babe. We'll do it tonight."

"Your bed's so cozy. I think I wanna take my clothes off." Layne smiled, unbuttoning his shorts.

"Stop Layne! Mom's right in the other room! This isn't your house, you can hear everything in here!" I smiled.

"I'm just joking...or am I?" Layne said seductively as he stuck his hand down his shorts.

"Baby stop..." I giggled, watching him.

Layne bit his lip as he pulled his cock out. He was horny alright.

"C'mon Layne...your a fucking tease. Tonight babe, put it up." I whined.

"Fine." Layne sighed, fixing himself and buttoning his shorts back up.

I got up and stretched. "Let's do some of this stupid homework." I smiled.

Layne got up and walked over to the chair that was at my desk. He was so sexy in those shorts, they were tight on him.

I went out of my room and got a chair from the kitchen table and brought it in my room and sat on it so me and Layne could do homework. We were silent as we got started.

I glanced over at Layne who was looking in my book as I did the homework. He looked at me and smiled.

"Babe. I wanna talk about this." I said.

"You need me to explain it to you?" Layne asked, running his hand through his hair.

He thought I was talking about the work.

"No. We need to talk about what happened. How are you feeling? I mean, after the way you reacted, I thought I would never see you again but your here now...acting as if nothing ever happened. Layne I wanna talk about this with you." I pleaded.

Layne pouted. He looked at me. "I know. I know you want to talk about it but it's just hard okay? It's hard for me to talk about it. I'm just fine Shannon. I just want to be with you and I just want to forget about it."

Fuck. I made him cry.

"Let's go lay down for a few minutes." I suggested.

We got up and got back on the bed, getting more comfortable. Layne rested his head against my chest.

"All that stuff you said to me before I beat his ass, why'd you say it?" I asked.

"I don't know. I didn't mean any of it. I just didn't want you to do it. I was afraid it would make things worse. I just didn't want him fucking with me anymore. I felt like it would make things worse if you did that Shannon. I just wanted to cruise through school and never look back once I've graduated."

"He'll never bother you again as long as I'm around." I smiled, running my fingers through his hair.

Layne smiled and was still silent.

"You know babe, talking about things really helps. I wish I woulda heard it from you and not from Yanni. I wish you would stop bottling this and talk to me about it. Don't you trust me? You can trust me Layne." I smiled warmly at him.

Layne looked into my eyes, his eyes tearing up.

"What do you want to hear Shannon? How he fucking humiliated me? How he fucking laughed at me when I rolled around in my own fucking pile of puke? How he fucking told his buddy to fuck my mouth while he shoved his dick in me, hurting me. I was so fucking hammered. I think he slipped me something. I'm not sure. I just remember crying...and I couldn't make them stop. I wanted them to stop. The door was wide open. People were looking in. People saw me Shannon. He took my clothes, he went around showing them to people. Shannon he fucking embarrassed me. I wanted to die. Shannon..."

Layne was hyperventilating and he was getting loud. My eyes widened. I grabbed him and held him tight, kissing his head, rocking him back and forth.

"Breath Layne, fucking breath. Yeah I'm here. You're with me now and you never have to worry about him ever again. I'll protect you Layne. Calm down." I cooed.

Layne still sobbed, holding onto me tightly.

"Babe you and I are more alike then you think." I said sadly, holding him.

Layne wiped his eyes and sniffled, looking up at me.

"Yanni told me not to tell you that he told me your story but I couldn't stop crying after he told me baby. It really hit home. I'd been meaning to tell you about me...but I never got around to it. We're so happy, I didn't want to make you feel weird or anything, but, after hearing your story, I think I'm ready to tell you." I rambled on, my own eyes tearing up.

"Tell me what? What is it Shannon?" Layne asked softly, stroking my cheek.

We were sitting side by side, slightly turned. Layne held both of my hands, his nose pressed against mines, sniffling.

This was really it. Now I was going to tell him. I kissed him softly before pulling away. I stared down at our hands.

"Well, back over in Indiana...I was sort of...molested."

The word was hard rolling off of my tongue. I stared down for a few seconds. I heard nothing but silence. I looked up at Layne. His brow was furrowed as he stared at me.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I was. I mean, my mom had this boyfriend back in Indiana. He kind of..." I stammered.

I felt Layne put his hands on my face. I grabbed his wrist and looked at him.

"Shannon, tell me what it is." He said softly, looking straight into my eyes.

I couldn't help but tear up. The memories were so painful. That had been the lowest point of my life. That had been hell trapped under that guy.

"Me and my mom moved here to start over. In Indiana, I was raped by her boyfriend. He did it constantly for a year straight almost and she had no idea. She didn't know until I tried to kill myself." I rambled.

Layne was silent as he processed this.

"You tried to kill yourself?" Layne asked softly.

"Yeah." I sniffled, closing my eyes.

The next thing I know is I feel Layne's lips against mines. He ran his hand through my hair. He pulled away and wiped my tears as I looked at him.

"I'm sorry Shannon. I had no idea. I mean, I don't get it...I mean, what exactly did he do to you?" Layne asked curiously.

I smiled a little through my tears. I figured Layne would want to know. There was no need to get mad over it.

"Everything babe. Everything. He is a sick man and he's rotting in jail. I hope he dies in jail." I said simply.

"Everything. Is that how you, I mean, you know so much about sex." Layne said softly.

"I suppose." I sighed.

"But how can you, going through something like that...how can you stand to have sex? You don't see his face or anything?" Layne stammered softly.

"No baby. I've been to a doctor. I've gotten help." Shannon smiled, making a quoting gesture with his hands when he said help.

"So...I mean...I don't know what to say..." Layne stammered.

He appeared to be at a loss for words. I sighed shakily and held his hands.

"That's why I left that night after we fucked babe. I had a bad dream about it...I didn't know what to do but come home. I needed to see my mom. And she wasn't home and that's when I just snapped. I cut myself, it made me not think about that guy." I said softly.

Layne's eyes widened.

"Shannon..." He said sadly.

"Yeah and she took me to the doctor...and that's why I was gone for 2 days. and you like fucking freaked out you thought I hated you or something. I don't hate you Layne. In fact I fucking need you. You make me forget about the past. I love you..." I said softly looking him straight into his eyes.

He smiled big, blushing and looking down, a wavy strand falling in his face. I pulled him by the wrists, closer to me and kissed him passionately.

He moaned lightly as we made out. He pulled away, a loud popping noise sounding as we pulled apart, eyes widened.

"Shannon! You said we should wait until tonight, if you keep that up I'm gonna get naked!" He smirked.

I chuckled and we decided to just lay on the bed. I spooned Layne and kissed his hair. He held onto my arm.

"Shannon you are very strong." Layne smiled at me.

"Well so are you." I smiled softly. "Coming back to school after that whole ordeal with that fucking jerk off. I fucking beat his ass good, all for you. He won't ever look at you ever again."

Layne rubbed my arm and pressed his ass into my crotch slightly.

"Shannon where's your father?" Layne asked randomly.

"What?" I asked.

"Where's your father?" Layne asked, turning over and facing me.

We had our arms thrown around each other.

"Well. Dad's back in Indiana. I don't see him much." I said softly, running a hand through Layne's hair.

"Do you still talk to him? You never mention your dad." Layne asked again.

"No we don't really talk. He cheated on my mom. They used to fight alot. This was like a few years ago. I really haven't spoken to him in a long time. I have heard nothing from him since the ordeal I went through." I smiled a little at Layne.

"Does that make you sad that your dad doesn't call you?" Layne asked softly.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I just don't think about him really. He doesn't know anything about me. He wouldn't understand me anymore. I'm a totally different person then I was when he was living with us. I guess I am angry that he cheated on my mother and I like, knew about it."

Layne had me thinking about shit I had never thought about before. We lay there silent, and then I felt Layne press his face into my neck, holding me tight. His shoulders were shaking.

"Babe what is it?" I asked sadly.

I fucking hated to see him cry. We were two fucked up kids.

"It's nothing it's just, my real dad. I fucking miss my real dad." Layne began pulling away and sitting up.

I bit my lip. I already knew what he was fixing to tell me. I hadn't told him that Yanni had told me about his real dad.

"Is he dead or something?" I asked, playing it off.

"No. He's not. That's funny that you say that, because my mother told me and Liz he was." Layne sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"I don't get it." I pushed Layne on for an explanation.

"Jim's not my real dad. I don't remember if I ever told you. He's just my stepdad. My real dad well, he left when I 12. I was real close to my dad. He was my best friend. We always did stuff together, like play sports or go fishing. Stuff like that. Then he started doing drugs. He just left us. One day he didn't come back. It was as if he slipped away. He would be on drugs and he wouldn't play with me anymore.

Mom told me and Liz that he had died. But we never went to a funeral or anything. She won't tell us where he's at. I think she knows and she thinks she's protecting us or something by not telling us. I miss my dad Shannon."

"Baby. I am so sorry." I didn't know what else to say to him as I hugged him and he sobbed lightly into my arms.

"That's why I wanna be a rockstar. Maybe if I'm famous, dad will see me and he will come back." Layne admitted, looking up at me with tear stained eyes.

"Babe...I'm sorry. That's so fucked up." I said kissing his forehead.

"At least I have you..." Layne sniffled, wiping his eyes and smiling at me.

"Yeah." I smiled squeezing his hand.

"Wow, we have so much shit in common. It was like, fate for us to meet or something." Layne smiled, sniffling and looking at me.

"I was thinking the same thing too." I smiled softly.

After our little pow wow, we got back up and continued on the homework. We were sitting at the desk hovering over a book when a knock sounded on the door and mom let us know dinner was ready.

Mom was excited to have a guest over. She knew Layne and I were more then just friends. She accepted it. She was all smiles during dinner as she watched me and Layne interacting. Layne was so funny and charming in front of my mother. I knew he probably thought he was embarrassing himself, but he wasn't.

After dinner, I asked my mom could Layne stay over a few days and of course she always gave me what I wanted.

The days events had turned out in my favor. I was getting sick of all the drama. Layne was here with me and we were back on.

* * *

After I helped mom clean up a bit, I went back to my room, closing the door behind me and quietly locking it. I turned around and smirked to look over and see Layne laying in my bed already.

I furrowed a brow as he had a huge smile on his face, his hair in his face as he looked in my direction. His bare leg and foot was sticking out from the covers, his hands were thrown over his head and I looked down to see his shorts and underwear on the floor.

"Layne what the fuck are you doing?" I chuckled as I rushed over to him.

He ran his hands through his hair to get it out of his face.

"You were taking too long. I was impatient..." He giggled.

"No way. What did you do?" I asked looking down at the covers.

"Nothing...really..." He giggled putting his finger to his mouth and looking at me.

"You fucking didn't!" I smiled.

"No Shannon!" Layne squealed as I ripped the blankets off of him.

I couldn't wipe the shit eating grin off of my face when I saw the mess that Layne had made in my brand new covers.

"Layne...you naughty boy! Naughty boy! Do I go to your house and bust my nut all in your fucking bed!?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't believe Layne had the balls to jerk off in my room while my mother was in the house.

"I'm sorry." Layne said seductively, pulling his shirt off.

"Fuck Layne, mom's not even in bed yet!" I smirked, biting my lip and looking his body over.

"Well why'd you lock the door then?" He asked seductively as he reached down and started stroking himself again.

I could feel my heart rate pick up.

"Layne you're a fucking tease, you know that!?" I exclaimed, tearing my shirt off.

"Lube's in my bag." Layne said seductively.

"A tease and you make me do all of the fucking work." I smirked as I hopped over to his bag as I removed my pants. I slid my boxers off before I opened compartments on his backpack until I found it.

I nearly tackled him as I got on the bed, pressing my lips to his. He laughed loudly, arching his back.

"Keep it down!" I smiled as I sucked his neck.

"Oh..oh yeah..." Layne said softly, biting his lip and shifting his legs as I left a hickey on him.

I giggled as I pulled the covers over our head, feeling that wet spot on my back as I kissed Layne, but I didn't care.

Things felt so right with him. Everything was out in the air. As I fucked him that night, our bodies seemed to move in sync, under my blankets. Our breaths melded together as we pleasured each other in the dark, hot and sweaty, quietly. My new bed was christened.

Our relationship was stronger than ever. I felt like we were gonna be together forever. I wanted to be with Layne forever.

* * *

The school year ended quickly it seemed like. Me and Layne had passed our classes, despite all of the distractions. I was looking forward to seeing Layne get back together with Nick and Yanni and playing music. I had never really heard Layne sing come to think about it. Layne would be turning 18 this summer, before me. That would open up new doors for us I suppose.

Little did I know what adventures awaited me and Layne during the summer.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was my best fucking friend and I felt like we were being ripped apart. Over what? My mom's hick side of the family. Fuck.

_The Summer_

I sat there on Layne's bed in his room. He was facing me, holding my hands. I stared into his eyes and he stared into mines. His lip started quivering. I sighed as I saw his eyes pool with tears. A shaky breath escaped his lips.

"Babe...c'mon don't cry..." I said softly.

I felt like total shit myself. This fucking sucked. Layne pulled away from my hands, putting his hands to his face as his shoulders shook as he cried. I sighed, staring down at the bed.

What a fucking way to start the summer. Here I am thinking we're gonna have fuck fests every night, spend all of our time together and then my mom drops this fucking bombshell on me. We're going back to fucking Indiana to visit family...for a whole fucking month. Mom let me know on short notice. It wasn't entirely her fault. The family called her and begged her to bring us down there. I personally never wanted to go back to that shithole state ever again but I know my mom wanted to see her family. I begged and pleaded for mom to let me stay home by myself, but she wouldn't let me. She had gotten a month's time off of work. Things had worked out just right so we could go see her side of the family for a fucking month.

A month was nearly a year in a teenager's eyes. The summer was starting off shitty already. I was supposed to hang out with Layne. I was supposed to see his band. Now I wouldn't see him for a whole fucking month. This shit sucked.

Layne took his hands from his face, looking down and sniffling, wiping his eyes. We were silent when suddenly his sister Liz slipped into his room.

"Ew Layne! Hey Shannon...did you know that when we were kids...Layne used to pick his nose and eat his boogers! Do you remember that Layne!?" She smirked.

"Liz...seriously not now...get out!" Layne frowned, sniffling.

I looked back at her, a serious look on my face.

"Yeah seriously, we're not in a joking mood right now." I said softly, looking back at her.

She furrowed her brows, tilting her head.

"What the fuck's going on with you two?" She asked, nosy.

Layne groaned and took a pillow from his bed, chucking it towards his sister. She jumped out of the way and it hit Layne's dresser, knocking things off, clinking noises sounding.

"Liz get the fuck out of my room!" Layne screamed at her.

He stormed up off the bed and Liz'e eyes widened and she ran out of the room as Layne came towards her. Layne slammed the door and I jumped, wincing. I heard him lock it and he came back to the bed and sat down, sighing.

"Shannon...can you at least spend the night tonight so we can fuck one last time before you go?" Layne asked.

He wouldn't make eye contact with me. I sighed, furrowing my brows.

"Babe...I fucking want to so bad...but I can't." I said softly.

I looked at Layne and he winced hard, tears pouring down his face.

"This shit fucking sucks Layne. I'm so sorry. My mom's making me go. I would give anything just to be able to stay here with you. We're leaving early tomorrow morning and I have to pack tonight."

"Will you call me?" Layne asked, sniffling, grabbing a hold of my hands again.

I smiled at him. "Well yeah. I'll try to call you a few times. Hopefully this month goes by fast. I'll call you as soon as I'm back. Maybe I can write to you?"

"No...my mom's super nosy. Liz is super nosy. I'll just wait around for your calls Shannon. I don't want to risk my mom being all up in my business. I'll be hanging with my band mostly and who knows if my mom or Liz will get their hand on the letters while I'm gone. I wish you weren't going...I feel so heartbroken...like we have to break up or something..." Layne sobbed lightly.

I slid close to him and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tight, kissing his temple.

"Layne. We are not breaking up. I'll be fucking thinking of you every day while I'm over there. I swear Layne. I love you so fucking much." I said, tears welling in my eyes.

"I love you too Shannon. I fucking hate this. I can't wait until we fucking graduate and we don't have to fucking do what our parents say anymore! They love ruining our fucking lives!" Layne sniffled, cuddling into me.

We lay there on his bed now, holding each other, sniffling and silence. A month. I wasn't gonna see Layne for a fucking month. No sex for a fucking month. How the fuck was I gonna survive?

* * *

We were cramped into the add on to Layne's room. The christmas lights lit up the small space, the fan on, circulating hot air. The air smelled like sex. Our clothes were piled in a corner and we were both dripping with sweat. Layne lay against the beanbag, holding his legs up behind the knees. I was between his legs, fucking his ass in a new position we'd been trying recently. Our breathing was heavy and we were fairly silent. Layne's parents and sister were home.

I fucking hated fucking on the floor like dogs. This was the only way we could do this. I couldn't stay the night with him because mom expected me to be home by sunset. Layne whimpered lightly as he reached down and started pumping himself. I glanced down as I moved against him, smiling a little. My hands were on either side of him, his legs on either side of me, one being held up by me now since he dropped it to jerk himself off.

"Shannon I love how you fucking fill me up..." Layne whispered as I fucked him.

"I'm close Layne...real fucking close..." I breathed.

We both closed our eyes. I came first and as I was finishing up, getting ready to pull out of him, I felt Layne's warm liquid hit my stomach, his legs falling, spread wide. I pulled out of him and laid on top of him, hands on either side of him, my face buried in his sweaty neck and hair. I felt his chest rising and falling hard and I heard him sniffle.

This was so intense. Perhaps because we knew we wouldn't be able to do this for a while. I could hear noise on the other side of his wall. Sounded like his mom and his sister laughing and conversing.

I lifted my head and pressed my lips to his in a passionate kiss. I was gonna miss this fucking boy.

Later I didn't even allow Layne to walk me home. I probably should have. It would hurt too much. We stood there, a block from his house, making out and hands roaming each other's body for those last touches. It felt like we wouldn't be seeing each other for an eternity. The sun was setting. I would be home to mom right on time.

It broke my heart to think about Layne and his crying. I fucking hated to see him cry. He was my best fucking friend and I felt like we were being ripped apart. Over what? My mom's hick side of the family.

Fuck.

* * *

I packed. I put on a happy face for mom. Inside I felt miserable though. We drove back to Indiana. Her family didn't live in the town where all the shit had went down. I was doing way better then I was when we had first moved to Seattle. The dreams had pretty much stopped. I think this was because of Layne. I was a bit terrified of how it would be without him. Maybe it would be okay. I had done such a good job of suppressing everything.

It took a few days to arrive at grandma Vernie's. She seemed so ecstatic to see me. I frowned at the mustached kisses and tight hugs. Gramma smelled funny and she wore too much perfume. This living situation was not good at all. I had two options, I could either stay in a room with my mother, or I could stay in my cousin's room.

I had a cousin who lived with gramma. Both of her parents were in jail because of selling heroine or crack or some shit. Somehow she had ended up in gramma's custody. She wasn't really home much. She was around my age. The first 2 weeks, I didn't really see her much. All I could think about was Layne. I didn't want to do nothing. I would just sit there bored around mom and gramma in the living room as they caught up. Gramma would ask me questions and I would answer them idly.

I felt so lucky when I got around to calling Layne. I had to call there collect. I praised the lord when he answered the phone himself. It filled my heart with joy to hear his voice. We caught up. He was so cute as he rambled on about his band. I wished I could be there to see the action going on. It sounded like he was out having fun and actually doing things and here I was...states away and stuck in this country hick hellhole. We talked for nearly 4 hours. Layne had so much to say. I felt bad that I didn't have much to say.

* * *

Mom and gramma were out doing something. I didn't know. I just liked to stay inside all day and watch tv or lay around. I lay on one of the twin beds that was in the room I shared with my cousin, Veronica. As usual she was out all day. I don't think we had spoken 3 words to each other since I had been forced to come back to this shithole state.

I sighed. I was home alone. Might as well call Layne. I grabbed the phone, going through the usual routine to call him collect. I waited patiently as I got through and the phone started ringing.

My heart jumped when he picked up the phone. He spoke fast and hurriedly.

"Shannon! Hey! I fucking love you babe! I miss you but Shannon I-"

I furrowed my brows at his hurried talking and then all of a sudden I heard a loud click and shuffling and I heard his mom's voice on the phone.

"Layne Thomas Staley, I've already told you that you are not allowed to accept collect calls! You hang up this phone at once! The phone bill was outrageous last time you spoke to your friend. I'm sorry he's not here but you cannot keep running up my phone bill to talk to him. Unless you can pay the bill, hang up!"

I could feel a lump in my throat. I fucking hated parents. They were such fucking boner killers. Layne's parents were fucking loaded. Why couldn't they just shut the fuck up and pay the fucking phone bill?

"I'm sorry Shannon...I kinda got in trouble last time because the phone bill was like 500 dollars. We can't talk to each other long distance anymore babe."

He sounded like he was going to cry. I felt like I was going to cry as well. I sighed into the phone.

"Ok. I'm sorry." I said softly.

"Well we'll see each other in 3 more weeks. It's only 3 weeks. I've got to hang up now or my mom's gonna go postal Shannon. I love you. Bye."

I sat there, the phone still to my ear as I listened to him hang up on me and I heard the beeping dial tone. I sighed and hung the phone up. I sat there, eyes pooling with tears. Life fucking sucked. So now I was completely cut off from Layne.

All I had of him was the memories in my mind. I fucking hated this. I needed to get high. I wished I could get high.

I sat there, sniffling as I ran my hands through my hair, wiping my eyes. I jumped when the door to the room suddenly opened and closed. I looked up to see Veronica, in all her white trashy glory.

"Hey." I said, sniffling, playing it off that I was crying.

"Hey." She mumbled as she sat on her bed.

I watched her. She had wavy teased brown hair, bangs pulled back into a clip. She was wearing high cut shorts and a tight spaghetti strap shirt with no bra. Her headlights were on. I stared at her as she stood up, digging in her tight pockets, pulling things out of them. She sat back down, ripping her nightstand drawer open and rummaging in it.

She looked up at me.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" She frowned.

I frowned. "Not much."

"Fuck you you fucking yuppie." She frowned as she rummaged around.

"Yuppie? Honey I am far from a fucking yuppie." I laughed at her.

She pulled out a bag with familiar green buds in it. My eyes widened.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She looked at me as she threw rolling papers and a lighter on the nightstand.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She frowned as she began to make a toke.

"You toke up? That's fucking sweet. I need to be fucking high right now. You got enough for 2 people? I mean, I can give you some money and shit."

My mouth watered for a toke. I wanted to just send my mind away. She smirked at me.

"I'll give you one cuz." She smirked. "And we can get more later so you can still give me the money too."

"Sweet!" I said jumping up and going over to her bed and squeezing on it.

She made out blunts and laid on the bed beside me. We both barely fit on the twin sized bed. I put mines to my mouth and she lit mines and then lit hers. I sighed as I took a long drag, letting the smoke sit in my lungs. I immediately felt relaxed. My eyes nearly rolled in the back of my head.

"Oh god girl, this is good shit." I groaned, blowing smoke out.

She giggled as she took a drag off of hers. "I know right. Indiana's best!" She smiled.

"Thanks cousin. Seems we have something in common. I don't know you hardly but I know we both like to get high!" I smiled.

"Fuck yes..." She sighed.

* * *

We sat there about an hour later on her bed, high as fuck. Our eyes were red. Everything was funny. We were giggling.

"It's fucking hot in here...fuck!" I laughed, leaning over and taking my shirt off.

I threw it to the floor and looked at her. She looked down at my chest.

"God Shannon you are so strong. Look at your chest...I bet the girls go crazy for you!" She giggled.

"I don't fuck girls. I fuck boys. I have a boyfriend." I smiled, coughing a bit.

I looked forward, holding my head. "Oh my god I'm so high..." I laughed as my head spun.

"You fuck boys? I would have never guessed..." She said, running her hand up and down my bare chest.

I jumped and smirked as I looked down at her finger as it ran over my skin. It made me shiver.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just fucked up you know, since I was fuckin' ass raped by my mom's ex-boyfriend." I said randomly.

Being high made a person blurt random things. I just laughed, it was just too funny.

"Oh my god. I heard about that. That was fucked up Shannon. You know I was raped too." She giggled.

"Oh my god. We were both raped...this is too fucking funny. Fuck, are you as high as I am?" I laughed, brows furrowed.

"Yes I feel so good!" Veronica smiled, her hand inching down to my stomach, rubbing it lightly.

"Who raped you?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"My dad." She said seriously. "When I was like, 11."

We got silent for a moment and then we burst out laughing.

"Is there like, something in the water for like, men to rape everything around here? I'm so fucking glad mom got me out of here!" I laughed.

"So like, Shannon, you say you have a boyfriend. Do you guys like, fuck?" She asked.

I smirked. "Well, yeah we fuck."

"How?" She asked, putting her finger to her mouth.

"Um...like in the ass?" I laughed.

She giggled as she leaned over me to grab another toke and the lighter from the nightstand. Her face was mere inches from mines. I felt weird. I needed more hits as well.

She lit it, taking a drag and looking at me, passing it to me.

"That's fucking hot." She coughed, waving her hand around to fan the smoke coming from the blunt.

"So you've never fucked girls?" She asked.

"Nope." I smiled as I passed the blunt back to her.

"That's surprising. You're very handsome Shannon. You're fucking hot. Lots of girls probably want to fuck you." She smirked.

She was sitting really close to me by now. We continued to pass the blunt back and forth. We were more high then ever after this blunt.

"Oh my god. You know what would be fucking crazy?" She giggled.

"What?" I asked, giggling myself.

"If me and you had sex!" She smiled, pointing to my bare chest.

"Yeah right...no way. That would be crazy!" I laughed, putting my hand to my spinning forehead.

I looked over to see her pulling her shorts off.

"I'm so fucking horny Shannon. Look at this shit." She smiled.

I just laid there like a rock. I couldn't get up. I was glued to that bed. I held onto the side as she shifted, sitting with her knees to her chest, spreading her legs and pointing to her panties.

I looked between her legs.

"Did you piss yourself?" I asked, scratching my head, giggling.

I didn't know shit about what girls do. Honestly. I just knew what boys did.

"No silly. I'm fucking horny. I'm fucking moist dumbass!" She giggled. "Touch it."

I was too high to think and process things. I smirked and stuck a finger out, prodding her wet underwear. I continually prodded it.

"Oh wow...that is wet. Jesus..." I giggled.

I was high and curious. I had no judgement. I kept going. She bit her lip as I ran my finger up and down the crease that I felt.

"Right there...keep rubbing right there..." She whispered.

I felt a small bud through her underwear. I kept pressing my finger up and down over it, watching her face. It was intriguing to me. I could feel her horniness radiating off of me. She was breathing hard, bucking into my finger. I switched to my thumb, my hand now on her crotch, thumbing over this area that seemed to be driving her wild.

It wasn't long before I saw her shaking and looked down to see her getting even wetter. She slapped my hand away, breathing hard.

"Okay okay...that's enough. Fuck...you have big fingers Shannon...that felt so fucking good!" She whispered.

I didn't know what the fuck this was now. This was awkward. I was still slightly high and horny now. I laid back on the bed, my hands on my crotch as she got up and stood in front of the bed, looking at me. She took her shirt off and slid her underwear off and stood there in front of me naked.

"Let me fuck you Shannon." She said lowly.

I looked over her body. My body felt hot. This felt so wrong, but I needed to fuck. I was so horny. What the fuck was right anyway? Both of us had been raped by people we trusted, people who were supposed to love and take care of us. We were fucked up. So why not do fucked up things? Fuck it? Who fucking cared?

"You're my cousin though...isn't this like, incest?" I asked, biting my lip.

She smacked her lips. "I'm only your cousin by marriage dumbass. But it is hot though isn't it, just knowing that we're related and we're in here fucking each other?"

"Um..." I stuttered.

She crawled on the bed and crawled up my body, pulling my pants and my underwear off. I sat right there and I let her do it.

My fast ass cousin Veronica who I hardly knew. I stayed in that room and I fucked her. I didn't know how it got to that point. We were home alone and she was loud. She was vocal. She was fucking crazy.

* * *

And I continued to fuck her, for the rest of that month that I stayed there. I was bored and I had needs and she was there, letting me do as I pleased with her. I was cut off from Layne and it fucking sucked. I needed something to do to take my mind off of that! I liked fucking guys better but she was just a hole I had available to help me release. Also, she gave me weed and pills to stay high off of to keep the bad feelings away. If mom and gramma found out, that would be fucked up, but they didn't.

This ended up being one of those weird moments in my life that no one ever found out about. One of those deep dark fucking secrets that you look back on every once in a while and think, what the fuck was I thinking? And you cringe when you think about it.

Once we were away from there, I fucking pushed it back into my deep dark memories box in the back of my mind. I was going back home to Seattle. I was going back to Layne. I was ecstatic. I would finally be able to catch back up with Layne. At least we would have one month to hang out and be together before school started back up.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Look at you Layne. The fuckin' hair, the fuckin' clothes. We used to fucking talk shit about people like this last year and now you're fucking dressing just like one of them! What the hell has gotten into you Layne? You just fucking...you seem like you think you're better then me or some shit. I don't know." I blurted.

_Summer_

I was so fucking glad when we finally got back to Seattle. Layne was one hard mother fucker to catch up with. I called his house for 2 days and I was told he wasn't there. I finally got in touch with him on the third day. He told me to meet him for lunch at the local pizza place. The place where we went on our first date. I was pining to see him. I couldn't wait to touch him. I felt like I hadn't seen him in forever.

* * *

I showed up at the pizza place. I stood outside, hands in my pockets, looking down at the concrete, waiting for Layne. My heart was racing. I fucking missed him. Half of the fucking summer had been wasted. We would make up for lost time starting now. I sighed as I looked up and looked around.

A few minutes later, I heard a voice call my name. A familiar voice. I perked up, smiling huge and looking around frantically for him. I furrowed my brows as I looked around.

"Shannon! Over here!"

I looked to the left and I saw Layne standing there.

"Layne?" I asked, surprised.

There was another guy standing beside him. He smiled lightly at me. I was still staring at Layne, brows furrowed.

"You changed your hair..." I replied, surprised as all hell.

"Yeah I did Shannon." Layne blushed as he ran his hand through his new hairstyle.

He had cut his bangs to the length of his chin and he had them combed over his forehead. The rest of his hair was down to his shoulders. His hair was dyed blonde and it was crinkled all over.

He had eyeliner around his eyes and his lips appeared to be stained with some kind of pink.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked, still taken aback.

Layne looked so different from the last time I saw him. I missed his old look. I loved his dark brown, wavy hair.

Layne sucked his teeth and stomped his foot lightly on the ground and smiled at me. "Because I wanted to Shannon. You don't like it or something?" Layne asked.

"No...no...I mean yeah it's alright. I'm just surprised. Come here." I smiled, holding my arms out.

I didn't really give a fuck how his hair was, I fucking missed him and I wanted to spend some much needed alone time with him. His friend stood there awkwardly as we hugged. I leaned in to kiss Layne and I was a bit taken aback when he pecked my lips and pulled out of my grip. He usually let me kiss him as I pleased.

I pouted.

"Shannon, this is the new drummer for my band, Danny. Danny this is my boyfriend Shannon." Layne smiled, introducing me to the guy who had been awkwardly standing there.

"Hey." I said shaking his hand.

I looked him over. He had a similar haircut to Layne's except his hair was more teased. I sighed.

"Let's eat, I'm starving, aren't you Danny?" Layne smiled.

"Yeah!" Danny smiled.

They walked in and somehow I ended up behind both of them. I bit my lip. I furrowed my brows slightly as I followed them through the restaurant and to a table. I was feeling kind of disappointed. I thought this was going to be a private lunch between me and Layne. I didn't know this Danny fellow and I didn't want to talk to Layne about stuff around him.

We all sat at a table and I was silent as I watched Layne converse with this drummer guy. They laughed together, talking about music that I had no idea about. They were laughing together. Every now and then I would smile when Layne looked over at me.

"Shannon everything okay? You're real quiet." Layne pointed out after a while.

"I'm fine. Just listening to you two." I smiled lightly.

Inside I was reeling. I couldn't shake that feeling. Things felt different. I couldn't put my finger on it.

Our food arrived and I ate in silence as I watched the Danny guy talk to Layne. He like, couldn't take his eyes off of Layne. And honestly, Layne was fucking paying more attention to this guy than he was me, his boyfriend, who had been gone for over a fucking month.

The music, the clothes, the gossip. I had no idea what these two were harping on about. I felt left out.

After the lunch was finished. I slapped some money on the table. Layne took it, adding money to it. I couldn't help but notice this Danny fucker didn't contribute anything to the funds. We all stood up and I was silent as we walked over to the register to pay, and then we went outside.

I stood there, with my hands in my pockets as Layne spoke to Danny.

"Listen, I'll be over later for band practice. I'm gonna chill with Shannon for like an hour, okay?" Layne smiled.

I bit my lip when Danny hugged Layne, his arms dangerously low around his back. I just couldn't shake this bad feeling. Danny walked off and Layne looked at me, brows furrowed.

I managed to speak first.

"What was up with that guy?" I asked, brows furrowed.

Layne furrowed his brows too. "Um, excuse me?" He asked.

"The way he was looking at you, the way you two were talking and looking at each other? Does he have a crush on you or something?" I blurted jealously.

Layne frowned.

"Shannon, what the fuck? No way, he's just one of my best friends. Don't start that shit Shannon."

I raised my brows. Layne's tone of voice. I had never heard him speak like that. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to be the third wheel at this lunch. I thought it was gonna be just me and you. I haven't seen you in a while you know. I was only trying to call you for the past two days and you weren't around."

I pouted hard, throwing a guilt trip on him. Layne looked at me, brows furrowed.

"Well I'm sorry Shannon. He's just been through some things and excuse me for just wanting to make him feel like he's important for once. I'm sorry you're just too shy Shannon.

Yeah I've been at band practice. Sometimes I spend the night so we can practice constantly."

I bit my lip, putting my hair behind my ears.

"Am I gonna ever be able to see this band you have? I mean you talk about it all the time. You guys must be really good right?" I smiled a little.

"Fuck yes Shannon, we are so good. We've got a gig coming up this weekend. Of course I want you to see us." Layne smiled.

I stepped closer to him, putting my arms around him. I touched his hair. It wasn't soft and silky like it used to be.

"Layne, how much fucking hairspray did you use? What the hell your hair's stiff like a board." I blurted.

Layne furrowed a brow and stepped back.

"What's with all of that make up on your face Layne? Blush, really? Is this how you come out of the house now a days?" I asked.

I couldn't help it. I just felt like Layne was kind of being a hypocrite looking this way. We used to fucking sit together at school and tease people who looked like this. They looked fucking ridiculous. I didn't want Layne looking ridiculous.

Layne was frowning now.

"Fuck you Shannon. What the fuck is up with you? What the fuck did you do in Indiana. You've come back a fucking asshole. I don't have to stand here and fucking take this."

Layne turned around and started to walk off. Since when did he become so fucking sensitive? It was me here. I critiqued his appearance before and he didn't get mad. I walked fast to catch up with him. I grabbed his arm and we stopped in our tracks.

 

"Layne I'm sorry. Geez. You're so sensitive now. What the fuck did you do while I was gone? I used to be able to tease you and you just thought it was funny. Sorry babe...don't be mad at me. I fucking missed you so much. That fuckin' sucked that your mom got pissed about the phone bill." I sighed.

Layne grabbed my hand and we started walking down the street.

"I know. I had no idea it would run the bill up that much. She was fucking pissed." Layne replied.

"I hated being cut off from you, not hearing your voice. That was the hardest part. Did you think about me while I was gone?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course Shannon. I'm so glad you're back and you get to see my band!"

I pursed my lips. Usually he gave back as good an answer as I gave him. I said something really fucking good and all he can say back is he's ready for me to see his band? Why was I feeling so jealous?

"You haven't been fucking any groupies while I was gone have you?" I joked, smirking.

Layne furrowed his brows, turning his head to me.

"Okay Shannon, you have one more time to fuckin' accuse me of cheating, and then I'm going home and you can go back the other way to your house!" Layne said, stopping us again.

I furrowed my brows, tilting my head.

"Accuse? I'm not accusing you of anything Layne. I'm just joking around. Geez, lighten up Layne. You don't like to joke around anymore? What's wrong with you? I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay." I replied, holding my hands out.

We continued walking, side by side.

"I miss fucking you ya know. I really need it." I said softly as we walked. "Wanna fuck me right quick?"

Layne stopped walking and looked at me. "Alright. Well we have to stop by the store and get some lube. I'm out."

"Alright. Cool." I smiled.

We continued walking.

* * *

Even our fucking felt different. I couldn't figure it out. It just didn't feel as intense as it usually was. We were on Layne's bed, and I was on all fours as Layne pushed into me. He must have been fucking me for nearly 15 minutes straight before anything happened.

At some point he had to pull out, jerking himself to get hard again. He climaxed, but it was just awkward. We didn't talk about it. He laid down on the bed beside me as I turned around, stroking myself. I glanced over at one point to see if he was watching me. He was staring up at the ceiling like he was deep in thought.

I managed to finish and I lay there with him, looking up at the ceiling. I felt like I had a lump in my throat.

"Layne?" I asked.

"Hmm?" Layne asked.

"I can't help but feel like I'm a burden on you or something." I replied.

"What?" Layne asked.

I looked over to see him finally looking at me.

"A burden. I feel like I'm a burden. You just seem really distant. Is something wrong?" I asked, pouting at him.

I fucking missed the needy Layne. Layne was fucking different. It was as if I was the needy one now. I felt like I was bothering Layne by asking him to fuck me and spend time with me.

"No Shannon. Of course not. I'm sorry it's just this gig I've got coming up. It's just on my mind. I hope I don't fuck up is all. I'm sorry I don't mean to be coming off distant." Layne sighed.

He leaned over to me and kissed me softly. For a moment, it felt like the kisses we used to give each other. I felt warm. I smiled and threw an arm over him, getting lost in his kiss. I ran my hand through the blonde hair as our lips touched.

I still missed his old hair.

* * *

Later, I was with Layne at band practice. We were even deeper in his upscale neighborhood. At Yanni's house. Yanni was even more loaded then Layne. The band practiced in the basement. I sat there, in the corner, watching quietly as the guys practiced.

There was so much hair. Everyone had wild haircuts and used so much hairspray and so much make up. I fucking hated glam but I wanted to support Layne in whatever he did.

I frowned a bit when I saw how Layne and Danny spent so much time talking. It was as if Layne's eyes lit up as they conversed. I felt fucking jealous. Why didn't he look at me like that anymore?

I got lost in my mind as they started playing and Layne started singing. I wasn't even really listening. My head was going over wild scenarios.

My breath caught in my throat when I remembered one minor detail.

 

"Alright. Well we have to stop by the store and get some lube. I'm out."

 

I looked over at Layne who winked at me as he sang into the mike, and then turned around and stood in front of the drumset, exchanging winks with this Danny.

I sat there, trying not to frown, arms crossed over my chest. He was out of lube? Why would he be out of lube? When I left for Indiana the lube seemed to be pretty full to me.

I felt crazy for remembering this shit but this really bothered me. Was Layne fucking his drummer? Was he cheating on me? Is that why he was being so distant? I wasn't fucking scared to ask him.

I sat there, bottling my emotions, waiting patiently for this stupid shit to end.

* * *

"Shannon...c'mon, we're taking a break. Let's go outside for a second and get some fresh air." Layne smiled.

I was silent. I got up and I followed him out of the basement and outside on the back porch of the house. I was just getting ready to ask him when I saw Layne pull a small box out of his pocket.

I stood there, scoffing as I saw him put a cigarette to his lips and light it with a lighter. He squinted at me and smiled as he took a drag, holding it in his hand like he thought he was tough shit.

"Since when do you fucking smoke?" I blurted, shocked as he blew out smoke.

I coughed lightly.

"I don't know, since a few weeks ago. Wanna hit? It tastes good." Layne replied, taking another drag.

He wasn't taking fake drags, he was sucking it all in.

"Does your mom know you smoke?" I asked, still shocked Layne was doing this.

"Shannon...who gives a fuck? I do what I want, when I want." Layne said, blowing smoke in my face.

I frowned and waved my hand around, coughing.

"Don't blow that fucking smoke in my face. Layne you've changed so much since the last time I saw you. What the hell? I feel like I can't keep up with you. Your hair, the smoking, the attitude." I pouted.

"Attitude? What attitude? You're the one that has the attitude." Layne replied, taking a drag.

"Where's the jewelry that I got for you? I haven't seen you wearing it any today." I pouted.

Layne looked down, holding the cigarette high in the air.

"Doesn't go with my outfit. So what Shannon? I don't have to like, fucking wear it everyday." Layne replied, brows furrowed.

We were awkwardly silent. I broke the silence with a stupid remark.

"I don't think you should be smoking. That shit causes cancer and makes your breath stink." I replied.

"First of all, these are fuckin' menthols Shannon. Second of all, you ain't my daddy. I don't have a daddy. He fucking fell off the face of the earth. How are you gonna tell me not to smoke when you smoke pot? You're a fucking hypocrite." Layne spat at me, taking a drag and blowing smoke rings in the air.

I frowned at him.

"Hypocrite? I'm the hypocrite? Look at you Layne. The fuckin' hair, the fuckin' clothes. We used to fucking talk shit about people like this last year and now you're fucking dressing just like one of them! What the hell has gotten into you Layne? You just fucking...you seem like you think you're better then me or some shit. I don't know." I blurted.

Layne scoffed at me, blinking slowly.

"Better then you? Fuck you Shannon, you know what, ever since you got back from Indiana, you've been acting so fucking pissy. I just don't get it." Layne frowned.

"Me? What about you? You're nothing like you were before I left. You used to be ecstatic to see me. I just ain't getting that vibe from you Layne. And you brought that fucking guy, whatever his name is, to our fucking date? That shit made me feel like total shit. I felt like a fuckin' third wheel today!" I admitted.

"Oh my god Shannon, you are so fucking selfish. Stop being so fucking anti social. He's a good person and your too fucking selfish to see it. You don't fucking know him or what he's been through." Layne frowned.

"Yeah yeah, fucking depressed rich kid. I'm sure it's no picnic in the park compared to what I've been through!" I exclaimed jealously.

Okay, tears were forming now.

Layne rolled his eyes, finishing his cig and putting it out on the porch railing, throwing the butt in the yard.

"Shannon you are being a fucking asshole." Layne sighed.

"So did you fuck him?" I frowned.

Layne bobbed his head back, furrowing his brows, blinking slowly.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Layne asked.

"Fuck him, did you fuck Danny? Don't fucking lie to me. I know when you lie."

"Shannon...jesus fucking christ...what the fuck I did not fuck him. It's nothing like that! I'm fucking sick of you fucking accusing me of cheating on you. You are so fucking paranoid!" Layne frowned, getting louder.

"Well I know you fucked someone! There was lube when I left for Indiana...how the fuck do you explain how it got gone and you had to buy some more!?" I exclaimed at him.

Layne furrowed his brows, looking at me.

"You're fucking crazy Shannon. You are fucking crazy. You know what, I'm done with this. I'm so done. Get the fuck out of here if you wanna be this way. I don't have time for this. I have a gig tomorrow. I need to be focused on that and not this petty bullshit." Layne frowned.

"Oh so I'm petty to you now!? I know you fucked him Layne. I just want you to fucking admit that you cheated on me! Admit it that you fucked him!" I nearly screamed at Layne, grabbing his shirt and pulling him back.

"Get the fuck off of me Shannon...and shut the fuck up! You're such an asshole! I don't understand what the fuck is up with you. If you wanna act like this, maybe we should just take a break or something."

I could feel the stinging in my chest at Layne's words.

"Take a break? Take a break? You'd fucking like that wouldn't you! You wanna take a break so you can fucking fuck him! Layne you're a fucking whore...that's all you are a fucking whore!"

My mind was racing, I was hurt by what he said. I just screamed random things that popped into my head.

"I'm a whore huh? Well fuck you Shannon. Fuck you. I don't have to take this. This whore is out. Stay the fuck away from me. It's over. It's fucking over. I can see this shit getting out of hand right from the start. I'm not gonna have you fucking bringing me down with all your fucking delusions of what you think I'm fucking doing. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of here!"

Layne spat and he went back into the house, slamming the door behind him. I stood there, by myself, hot tears of anger pouring down my face.

What the fuck had gotten into Layne? He was fucking cocky, he was fucking arrogant. He thought he was fucking better than me. And I know he fucked that guy. I just knew it. I was so fucking angry that I decided to act on impulse. I wanted to hurt the one who caused my hurt.

I was gonna go in there and beat that fucking drummer's ass for fucking my boyfriend. For poisoning his mind. He probably convinced him to try the cigarettes too. I opened the door, going in the house. I saw red. I could hear the band playing downstairs.

I stormed down the stairs, an emotional wreck. I headed straight for the drummer. The instruments stopped around me. I could hear Layne screaming my name as I threw drums down and knocked cymbals over to get to this guy. He looked up at me with a furrowed brow as I grabbed him by the shirt.

There was noise all around me and fumbling but I couldn't make it out. I could hear Layne yelling at me but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I looked right into this Danny boy's eyes.

"This is for fucking Layne. You fucking homewrecker!" I spat in his face.

It was like slow motion as I raised my fist. I was gonna pulverize this fagget's face when I suddenly felt myself being grabbed and dragged back. I was shoved towards the stairs.

I looked back to see angry faces staring at me. Layne's face was red and he pointed at me as he spat his words harshly at me.

"You get the fuck out of here right fucking now Shannon or we're gonna fucking call Yanni's mom and tell her to call the fucking cops on you. Get the fuck out of here and fucking leave Danny alone. You're a fucking jerk! I told you to stay the fuck away from me!"

"Just fucking remember Layne, I fucking taught you everything you know!" I frowned, looking over at Danny.

"I better not fucking see you on the street by yourself you fucking douche bag. When Layne's fucking you, just fucking remember, I taught him that!" I frowned.

"Shut the fuck up Shannon and please just get out of my fucking house!" Yanni frowned at me.

I flipped them all off as I stormed up the stairs. I could hear footsteps behind me. I looked back as I made my way through the house to the front door.

It was Layne. He was making sure I left. I nearly ripped the front door open, slamming it in Layne's face as I made my way on the porch. I stopped at the first step as I heard the door swing open.

"You better not fucking come over here again Shannon. And you better leave Danny the fuck alone!" Layne spat at me.

I frowned, turning around. "All the shit we've been through together Layne. You wanna fucking throw that away for this fucking shit. Look at yourself Layne. You look fucking ridiculous. You've become one of those people we used to fucking crack jokes about. Layne I fucking love you. Why do you have to be like this?

I could feel the tears pouring down my face.

"Shannon you're fucking crazy. You're the one who started this shit. This is fucking uncalled for. You're nothing but a selfish, jealous prick. I've known them longer than I've fucking known you, so I fucking choose them. I don't know why you want to fucking tear me down. I don't know what the fuck I ever did to you. You've been doing nothing but fucking making fun of me and accusing me of shit ever since you fucking got back!" Layne spat at me.

"I just want to know the fucking truth Layne. I just want you to fucking tell me. Please tell me before I walk away. You fucked around on me while I was gone didn't you?"

I just had to know. I didn't know why.

"Oh my fucking god Shannon. Yes okay. Yes I fucked someone while you were gone! Is that what you wanted to fucking hear. Wanna know who the fuck it was so you can beat their fucking ass? Because that's all you do is fucking fight. You're a fucking loser Shannon!" Layne spat at me.

He was saying anything to fucking hurt me.

"Why'd you do it Layne? I thought we were serious and shit." I sobbed lightly.

"You weren't here. I was fucking horny. It's no big fucking deal but you wanna make it out like it is. We're just teenagers Shannon, it's not like we're fucking getting married or anything. Fuck, I'm done talking about this. Fuck you and get the fuck out of here, now!"

I stood there as Layne slammed the door in my face. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, the sobs from deep within my chest. I slowly turned around and began to make my way back home.

So I was alone again. It had all happened so fast I don't even recall how we had gotten to this point. Layne broke up with me. I would have never thought he would. He fucking cheated on me. He fucked another guy. That was fucking fucked up.

My heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces. This fucking pain was worse then anything I had ever felt. I had been with Layne for months. He was my best fucking friend. Hell he was my only fucking friend and now he was gone. He had removed himself from my life. He had rid himself of me.

He didn't want me around anymore anyway. He was in that band with his high class friends, playing shows and having fun. He was the leader of the band. He was cocky and arrogant and he didn't need my poor, dusty, white trash ass bringing him down.

I was so glad that mom was at work when I got home. I needed to be high. I needed to escape. I sat on my bed in my underwear, sifting through my nightstand drawer, trying to find the pills I had scored. They would give me a killer buzz. I found them and shakily popped the top, taking two and dry swallowing them, almost choking in the process.

I could still feel my throat forcing them down as I laid down, face in my pillow as I sobbed.

I still couldn't believe this had all happened the way it did. My life was back to fucking sucking. I had no one. I was a fucking loner again.

It was my fault too. I fucking depended on Layne too much. I fucking trusted him. I fucking believed in him too much. I was stupid. I should have known better. Humans do nothing but hurt you. I was blind.

I learned my fucking lesson.

My mind would not stop fucking racing. Even as the buzz came on and I was feeling dizzy and warm and heavy, my mind still raced. I laid there, all the lights off, in a pool of misery as I stared at the ceiling.

My little teenage heart was broken. For the first time ever.


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted someone to give me all the answers. I don't wanna do anything. I'm fucking lazy. Someone needs to fucking show me the answers and lead the way. I'm a bad leader. I always fuck things up.

I squinted as I took a long drag of my joint. I was laying on my bed and I was getting high. Getting high was the only fun thing I had in my life right now. The feeling of escaping was great. I didn't have to live in this reality. I could fucking get away for a few hours.

I kept the smoke in my chest, it burning as it pooled around. I held my breath as I quickly took the razor blade and made cuts on my arm, breathing out the marijuana smoke as I cut myself. These things made me feel better. I felt like when I cut myself, much needed tension was released.

I had a notebook in front of me. For some reason, writing down what I was feeling made me feel better also. I took another hit off of my joint and started scribbling shit down as my arm bled from the cuts I was making on it.

__  
Ever had the feeling of maybe blowing your face upon the ceiling  
Have you ever stopped to wonder what your life might feel like down,down,down,down way under?  
Ya ever felt the need to slash someone's throat and sit there and watch 'em bleed?  
And what keeps you from popping too many pills?  
Don't tell me it's all your unpaid bills  
Oh, but so what if ya did? 

_And I just got through one of those nights where I wanted to turn out the forever lights_  
And maybe snap my neck and release some constipation  
Or a razor through my wrists without the slightest hesitation  
Oh, give it back to me  
Oh, please, please give it back to me  
And I swear, I swear what if ya did?  
Oh, I swear it if ya did?  
I wouldn't care if ya did  
But who thought ya would  


I nodded to myself, the toke still hanging from my mouth as I reached over and grabbed a kleenex, pressing it to the cuts on my arm, dabbing the blood.

I fucking hated this alone shit. It made me think too much. Senior year was fucking coming up. What the fuck was I gonna do with my life? I had no idea. I knew damned well I wasn't going to college and I certainly didn't wanna fucking work. I didn't want to be one of those people who lived from paycheck to paycheck and fucking reported to work everyday, turning their mind off and becoming a robot for 8 hours. Fuck that.

And Layne. Sweet Layne. I knew I should be pissed at him for fucking turning on me. But I just wanted to remember him the way he was. The sweet boy who befriended me when I first moved here. Who had the guts to talk to me. He was so sweet. I missed that. I missed the way he used to look at me. The way he smiled at me and his eyes would fucking sparkle. I missed his soft kisses. I missed his skin period. He had such soft skin.

I laughed to myself as I thought about how scared he was the first time I went down on his ass. He used to fucking love me. He used to look forward to seeing me. That shit made my day, going to school and seeing him waiting eagerly by the entrance, hands on the straps of his backpack.

I missed his little cubbyhole in his room. I hated fucking in there but I'd fuck him in there every day, skinning my knees and breaking my back to have things back the way they were.

I'm convinced, Indiana is cursed. There's nothing good there. I'm never fucking setting foot in that state again. This shit happened after I came back from Indiana.

Fucking Layne. Why can't I stop thinking about you. I should be pissed at you, you fucking prick.

I heard through the grapevine that it was Yanni who he'd fucked. That greek mother fucking home wrecker.

Layne had been so fucking arrogant, so fucking cocky. He thought he was fucking better than me. He had been weird the whole time I gotten back, talking shit to me, taking offense to everything I said.

I bet Layne was still fucking Yanni. That shit hurt. I thought Yanni was a good person. He moved in on my territory. It also hurt the fact that, of course Layne would gravitate towards him. He was so much better than me.

He had more to offer Layne. What did I have? All I gave him was a crummy necklace and bracelet from the fucking costco that was probably fake anyway.

Yanni was so rich. I remember his house. A fucking mansion. Perfect life, in a band, playing music, fucking having fun. Those fucking rich kids didn't have to worry about shit. They didn't have to fucking worry about being left at home with a sick mother fucker who fucking raped you every fucking day and forced his cock down your throat.

I paused my thoughts to place some cuts on my other arm. I sighed and closed my eyes as I laid back. So relaxing.

Yanni probably had a pocket full of money. He probably bought Layne expensive and shiny things. He was also good on that bass. That was probably another reason why Layne fucked him. The guy was not only rich, but he had talent.

What the fuck did I have? Nothing. I was just this white trash fucking dirty Indiana boy. Layne was the one who came on to me. I thought about it. I probably would have never had the balls to talk to someone with caliber like Layne. If Layne hadn't spoken to me first, we would have never been.

I would have never expected someone as hot as him to fucking like me. He was so perfect. He was everything I had been dreaming of.

He was the boy of my dreams. He was the one who I was fucking in my head while I was being forcibly fucked.

I sighed.

I would never be as good as Yanni. I would never be good enough. I wasn't good enough and Layne fucking realized it while I was gone. He fucking realized I was nothing and didn't have nothing and I probably never would.

I still tried to fathom what talents I had. I was good at popping pills. I was good at smoking weed. I guess I was good at fucking?

I should absolutely fucking hate you Layne. I should fucking despise you, you little bitch. I was the one who fucking gave you the confidence. I was the one who taught you how to fuck right. And then you go and get a big ego and fucking desert me.

I sighed, I still fucking loved him. And I had to sit here every fucking day in this fucking house, surrounded by these four fucking walls and think about him.

Was he even thinking about me? Probably not. He and Yanni were probably on Yanni's parent's yacht on the way to fucking Greece or some shit on an extravagant vacation. Yanni would probably fuck his ass on the beach or some shit.

Where could I take him? To the fucking woods and fuck him against a tree?

I felt like I had no purpose in life. What the fuck is my purpose for being here? I don't know what the fuck to do with my life. I'm a fucking loser. Layne was right. I'm a fucking loser.

I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life. No one's gonna want me. I'm not gonna go anywhere. I got no one to fucking fall back on. I can't burden mom with all the bills.

I would have to fucking work hard for everything. I would have to fucking work hard to get a car. I would have to be one of those robots.

Oh god it scared me thinking about it. I didn't wanna fucking do that.

I shakily reached on the nightstand, grabbing the pills, taking the last one and swallowing it.

Stop it mind, please shut the fuck off. I don't want to think anymore. This shit sucks.

At least if I still had Layne, I knew I could have just left on tour with him when he became a rockstar. I heard his voice. He has real talent. I just know he's gonna make it. I could have fucking went off with him and became a roadie.

I don't even have that.

Why does my mind always go back to Layne? I can't stop thinking about him. I'm going crazy. He doesn't want me anymore.

He and Yanni were probably already engaged or something, as fast as Layne moved in relationships. Yanni probably had given him a big diamond ring with all the money he had.

I smiled to myself, but it quickly faded.

Here I am having a conversation with myself in my head. I guess you do these things when you don't have a friend in the world. And nobody cares. Oh god nobody fucking cares.

"Fuck!" I screamed lightly.

Fuck I cut myself a little too deep. I grabbed alot of tissues to soak up the blood.

I was a fucking pussy. I should just die. I had tried it once but I was fucking saved. I almost died.

I couldn't get back into that frame of mind anymore. My mind was so fucked up back then. I sit here and I cut myself and I try but I'm fucking scared to die now. I want to but I'm scared.

How the fuck is that? I rocked back and forth on my bed, holding my arm to stop the bleeding.

Something in this life had to give. I needed an answer. I felt fucking lost. I just wanted someone to give me all the answers. I don't wanna do anything. I'm fucking lazy.

Someone needs to fucking show me the answers and lead the way. I'm a bad leader. I always fuck things up.

Fuck my life.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My eyes widened when I looked at the girl, dress twisted, hair disheveled, lipstick smeared. "Shannon?" "Liz?"

Things happen so fast in a teenager's life. But when you are a teenager, it seems like years. You don't realize how fast the time passes until you become an adult.

Somehow, I had ended up at a party. I was sitting on the couch, while everything was going on around me. The music was blaring, people were dancing. I was doing what I did best, smoking someone's bong. I closed my eyes as I pressed my lips to the bong, lighting the bowl and feeling the vibrations of the bubbling water inside of the ceramic structure. I took in the smoke, feeling extremely relaxed and carefree. I laid back on the couch, eyes closed. I sighed and leaned forward again, setting the bong on the table.

I sat there, hand thrown over my stomach as I stared into space. Activity was going on all around me. People walked over my stretched out legs. The bong was snatched and someone else smoked the rest of the weed in it. I couldn't tell you who.

I must have looked like a zombie as I laid there, chest rising and falling slowly, staring into space, clearing my mind of any thought. Just enjoying not thinking, not feeling. Just there.

There was a couch adjacent to me. I was still blank as a guy and a chick sat down in front of me. I heard the chick giggling loudly. I blinked and looked over as the guy had his face pressed to hers, kissing her. I couldn't see her face. I watched with a blank stare as he straddled her forcibly. She had her head turned facing the couch. I saw him shove his hand between them. I raised a brow. Where they gonna fuck right there in front of me?

I suddenly heard the girl crying. This was getting weird.

"Shut the fuck up bitch!" I heard the guy yell at the girl.

That was it for me. I was high but I had to do something when I heard the girl exclaim "Get the fuck off of me! Help me!"

I stood up, jumping over the coffee table and grabbing the guy's shirt, pulling him off of the girl.

"Hey get the fuck off of her man. She told you to fucking stop you sick fucking asshole!" I exclaimed.

"Mind your fucking business pothead!" The guy screamed at me.

He was obviously fucking drunk. He took a swing at me and I ducked, him missing me. I was good at fighting.

I gave him an uppercut to his stomach and punched him in his face a couple of times as he doubled over. The party was still in full swing. No one gave a fuck. Everyone was drunk and high and in their own worlds.

I shoved him back, the guy falling on the floor in a heap, his eye bruising and his nose bleeding.

"Fucking stay away from her man!" I frowned, spitting on him and kicking him before turning around.

My eyes widened when I looked at the girl, dress twisted, hair disheveled, lipstick smeared.

"Shannon?"

"Liz?"

* * *

We sat outside of the party, on the steps of the porch. I had my arm around her. She had a tissue, crying and wiping her make up off. She had taken her hair down, straightening it a bit and she had fixed her twisted dress.

"Liz what the fuck are you doing here? Shit like this is dangerous for you? That fucker was dangerous. You were fucking lucky I was sitting right there or he could have fucking ruined your fucking life." I replied, rubbing her shoulder.

I was speaking from experience. That shit could ruin your fucking life.

"I know Shannon. I know, I don't know. I'm fucking stupid. I just wanna fit in. I guess I thought coming here would make me cool. I could be cool!" She cried, dabbing her eyes with the tissue.

"The way your dressed, that's not you and you know it." I said softly, smiling.

I was so fucked up. I was fucking glad to see her. She had that Staley look to her face. She resembled Layne. She had his smile and his nose. Her hair was wavy like his used to be.

"I know. I feel stupid...I just wanted boys to look at me." She sniffled, rubbing her eye.

"You don't have to be a slut to get boys to look at you Liz." I tried to be sympathetic.

"Boys at school won't even look at me Shannon. They don't talk to me. All the girls at school are having sex. I know it. I want to have sex too! I want to fit in!" Liz exclaimed.

"You want to fit in so bad that you'll risk your life out here at one of these parties like this? This is no place for you Liz. You're so sweet and innocent. You don't need to be here." I smiled lightly.

She frowned, grabbing her hair.

"I'm so sick of being fucking innocent and sweet. I wanna be bad. Boys like bad!" Liz said frustratedly.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"Girl you are a fucking mess." I smiled, sighing.

I still had my arm around her. She surprised me when she wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Shannon thank you so fucking much for just being here. Thank you for kicking that guy's ass for me. You are a real gentleman." She sighed and smiled.

"No problem. I wasn't gonna just sit there and let that douchebag fucking do that shit in front of me." I smiled, rubbing her shoulder.

She sighed.

"I miss you coming over to the house with Layne. I loved embarrassing him in front of you. That shit drove him crazy. He always wanted to look perfect in your eyes. Layne's farts are fucking putrid by the way. They peel the paint off the wall!" She giggled.

I chuckled to myself, blushing.

"That's actually the truth." I smiled, thinking of some of me and Layne's times together.

"It's such a fucking bummer that you two broke up." She sighed.

I could feel a lump in my throat. This was my gateway to Layne right here.

"Actually. He broke up with me. I still like him alot Liz. He's just changed. I don't know what's gotten into him. He just started acting funny and I pretty much called him out on it and he got mad at me."

I was telling her all of our business. Why was I doing this?

"Layne has been a real douchebag lately. I don't know what's wrong with him either." She replied.

"How is he? I mean, does he seem like he's doing good?" I asked, pouting.

"He's hardly home. He's always off with his band. When he is home, he stays in his room with the door locked, blasting loud music. I have no idea Shannon. He's very mysterious." Liz shrugged. "I tend to stay out of his way now. He's always pissy and bitchy. He's no fun anymore."

"Oh." I sighed.

We sat there in silence, the movement going on all around us. She suddenly pulled away from me, putting her face in her hands, sobbing lightly again.

"What's wrong now?" I asked, looking at her sympathetically.

"It's just. I've never been kissed. I've never been touched by a boy. I just really want a boyfriend. Everyone's got a boyfriend except me. I'm sorry. I know you have problems of your own Shannon. But I feel like I have no friends and no one to turn to. I just feel so alone." Liz sobbed.

"I don't have any friends either. I don't have a boyfriend either." I smiled a little, trying to comfort her.

I could see the hint of a smile on her face as she sniffled, tears stil pouring down her face.

"Hey. Hey Liz...I feel alone too. You're not alone. We're alone together." I smiled, reaching up and lightly pulling her face to look at me, my hand stroking her cheek.

I don't know if it was the dope that I had smoked, but her eyes were so sparkly and blue in the moonlight.

I smiled at her and she smiled at me. I began to wonder. Were her lips like Layne's? They had that Staley look to them. I closed my eyes slowly as I puckered my lips, moving forward slowly.

I pressed my lips to hers, lingering, almost shivering. I could hear a moan escape her lips. I pulled away slowly, smirking at her, licking my lips.

"There. You've been kissed by a boy. You're not a dork anymore." I smirked at her.

She stared at me surprised, reaching up and touching her lips with her fingers.

I pulled away from her, arms hanging off of my knees as I sat there, smirking and looking down at the porch, blushing.

I put my hair behind my ear and looked back over at her to see her staring at me in disbelief.

"You okay?" I asked, smiling.

"Kiss me again Shannon." She almost whispered. "With tongue."

I chuckled to myself. Were all these Staley kids desperate and horny?

I smirked and snaked my arm around her waist, sliding close to her. She leaned in and moved my hair out of the way as our lips met again.

I don't know what the fuck I was doing. I just wanted to make her happy. She was so sad and lonely and I wanted to give her this experience so she could feel good about herself.

I pressed my lips to hers, gently pressing my tongue against hers. I wasn't even in her mouth for 2 seconds before she pulled away, hand to her mouth, giggling uncontrollably.

"What? Fuck that's not sexy Liz. You didn't even let me do anything. Don't pull away. What's so funny?" I asked, smirking at her.

"I don't know it's just...weird Shannon. Your tongue in my mouth. Boys like this kind of stuff?" She asked.

"Hell yeah. Frenching is a big turn on. Come one, let's do it again. Don't pull away, embrace it." I smirked, looking at her.

She smiled and nodded and we leaned in again, trying again. Our lips touched and her tongue found its way into my mouth. I smirked into the kiss as we kissed perfectly. I was tasting her. I moaned lightly, tilting my head slightly and sighing into our kiss. She put her hand on my bicep, squeezing as we made out. I shifted a bit, pushing down on my crotch as our mouths fucked.

Finally I pulled away, breathing hard.

"Okay okay okay...that was fucking good. That's what boys like!" I breathed, my hands on my lap, blushing.

Liz was staring at me lustfully.

"Shannon...that was fucking hot. You kiss really good. I liked that." She smiled, biting her lip.

"Um. Okay." I smiled.

Why was I fucking blushing so much? I put my hair behind my ears and smiled, looking down at my hands covering my lap.

"Shannon why don't you teach me everything? I wanna know everything. You know how to fuck girls right?" Liz asked desperately.

"Um. Yeah. I've fucked a girl before Liz. I don't know though...I mean, I was dating your brother...wouldn't it be kinda weird? I mean..." I frowned slightly.

"Please Shannon...please, no one has to know! This is no strings attached...this is purely for experience. I know you want to. Why do you have your hands on your lap? C'mon we're both lonely remember? I wanna learn and you can teach me. C'mon Shannon, there's no other guy I'd want to pop my cherry then you. You are the ideal boy to do it. I trust you. Pleeease Shannon."

"Well...I'm still not sure..." I pondered.

"No strings attached Shannon. Just two friends messing around." Liz begged, holding my arm tightly.

"Well...I mean, where should we go? To my place? I mean your a chick and all, aren't your parents like up and worried about you?" I asked.

"No...I don't fucking know. Let's do it on my bed!" Liz exclaimed.

"I mean, how are we gonna get in the house without waking your parents? I don't want your step dad to turn on the light and fucking beat me with a pipe." I smirked.

"How did you get in the house when you used to sneak over at night and fuck Layne?" She smirked.

I scoffed at her, a smirk playing on my face.

"That's right. You guys used to keep me up with the fucking giggling and the bed creaking. I fucking heard you two!" She smirked.

"Layne's not home is he?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I think he's staying at Yanni's." Liz replied.

"Oh." I pouted.

"C'mon Shannon, let's go back to my house and you get us in the way you did when you snuck over for Layne!" She smiled, standing up and pulling her tight dress down.

I stood up and took her hand and we started walking away from the party.

* * *

I hoisted Liz up by the waist as she climbed up the side of the house. She rolled on the roof and looked down at me in the night, giggling uncontrollably.

"Sssh!" I shushed her, smirking and giggling myself as I climbed up the side of the house.

I rolled onto the roof beside her.

"Which window's your room?" I whispered.

"My room's over there." She pointed to a tricky spot.

I groaned lightly. "Okay, let me see here. We have to walk over the porch. Your sure the window's unlocked right?"

"Yeah. I don't lock it. I open it sometimes at night." Liz smiled.

I took her hand and we carefully snuck across the roof, climbing over obstacles in the night. At one point, Liz almost slipped and fell and I dragged her back up. We couldn't stop giggling as we reached her window. She tried to pull the window but she didn't have enough strength. I strained and finally got the window up, wincing as the top half of the window fell down and almost snapped my fingers off.

"Fuck! That was loud!" I whispered harshly.

"My stepdad's probably snoring in my mom's ear. She's used to noise. She learned to drown it out." Liz whispered.

I managed to get the window open and I held it open as Liz climbed through, rolling into her room in a thud. She turned her lamp on and the room was illuminated. I let the window go and she held the top part up from the inside so I could squeeze into the room.

Finally we were fucking in and she closed the window and locked it so it could stay. I wasn't sure if I had broken it or what.

She walked over to her door and locked it. I sat around her room and looked around. She had a pretty girly room. Pink with butterflies and posters of glam bands.

I smirked as I started taking my shoes and socks off. I pulled my shirt over my head. I laid on her bed and saw the stuffed animals on it. I grabbed a teddy bear and ran my fingers over it's face. I looked at her.

"You still sleep with stuffed animals?" I smirked.

"Yeah so what!" She blushed, snatching the bear from me and hugging it, smelling it.

"You doin' okay? You still wanna do this right?" I asked.

She was looking unsure. She nodded at me, smiling a little. She grabbed all of the stuffed animals and threw them in the corner of the room.

I undid my pants, pulling them off. I was laying there on her bed, in my underwear. My cock was slick. I was horny. There was evidence on my underwear. The precum was wetting my underwear. I smirked at her, raising my brows.

She stared at me in awe, putting her fingers to her mouth, biting her nails.

"Nail biting is not sexy Liz. Take your dress off. I'm not asking you to get naked. Just take the dress off." I whispered.

"I'm not wearing a bra." She blushed.

"So. Show me your tits then. Guys like tits Liz. Go ahead!" I whispered.

She hesitated and slowly pulled her dress up over her head. Her tits were small and supple. They were pointy. She was hot for me.

She wrapped her arms around herself and blushed. I patted the bed and smiled warmly. She pulled the covers back and got under them, looking at me. Her face was red. Her hair was slightly disheveled.

"You wanna do it under the covers?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Ok." I shrugged, getting under with her.

I pulled my underwear off under the covers and threw them across the room. She looked over to where they landed and then back at me, a deer in the headlights look.

"Okay well, have you ever seen a dick?" I smirked.

She shook her head.

"Um, Well, here have a look." I was fixing to pull the covers back and she freaked out.

"No no no! Not yet Shannon. Hold on, give me a minute here..." She breathed.

I sighed. She was so fucking scary. Just like Layne was.

"Maybe you can start out touching it?" I asked.

She bit her lip and nodded. I reached over and took her hand. The covers were covering us. I put it over my erection and bit my lip and looked over at her.

Her face was red. She appeared to be sweating as she patted it, finally wrapping her hand around it blindly, squeezing it up and down, feeling on my tip. Meanwhile it was feeling good to me. I bit my lip and sighed.

"This feels weird...it's wet and squishy!" She whispered, giggling.

"It's supposed to be that way. I'm horny. Stroke it a little bit." I smirked.

She bit her lip and closed her fist around it, moving up and down lightly.

"Like this Shannon?" She asked.

"Yes. Like that...that's what boys like. That feels good."

I sighed and laid back on the pillow, closing my eyes. Her hand was moving slowly under the blankets. If she kept this up, I was gonna bust a nut.

Just as it seemed to be getting good, she stopped, lifting the blankets up.

"Oh my god..." She whispered, giggling.

I opened my eyes and looked at her as she looked at my dick under the blankets.

"That thing's going in me?" She asked softly, blushing.

"If you want it to." I shrugged. "We kinda need to hurry this up. I'm super hard. I could come at any minute." I smiled softly.

"Okay okay. Um. What do I do now?" Liz blushed.

"Take your panties off." I blushed.

She hesitated, and pulled them off under the covers, throwing them to the floor.

"Um. Okay, their off." She blushed.

"Okay let's have sex." I smiled.

We were both hot and sweaty as we moved around under the covers. She was so shy. She didn't want to move the blanket. I managed to straddle her under the blanket. I was doing this blindly. I took my tip and I rubbed between her lips, looking at her. She bit her lip, eyes falling closed.

"Wow girl, you're really wet down there..." I smirked.

She let out an awkward giggle. I moved my tip down, rubbing it against her until I found it.

"Get ready..." I whispered, looking down at her.

She opened her eyes and smiled a little, closing them again.

I watched her as I removed my hand and slowly pushed forward. I could feel her skin enveloping me as I forced myself forward slowly.

She was wincing and sighing as I pushed in. I thrusted two or three times and I was inside of her.

"Oh god..." I whispered lowly, beginning to move against her.

She was still wincing, biting her lip.

"You doing okay Liz?" I whispered as I started fucking her, our skin rubbing together.

She nodded, opening her eyes and smiled.

"Just keep doing this Shannon." She whispered.

I leaned down, burying my face into her neck as I fucked her. The covers still covered our body. I was sliding right in and out of her after a few thrusts. She was so tight.

We were silent, the only noises that could be heard was the central air, our heavy breathing and the shuffling of sheets.

It wasn't long before I was almost there. I started shaking against her. She just lay there, giggling lightly.

This was sick. I was here, fucking my ex boyfriend's sister. I still loved Layne. I still wanted to fucking be with Layne. I guess this was a way I could feel close to him without being near him, if that made sense. Nothing made sense anymore.

I let out a cry, quickly silencing myself as I reached down, pulling out of her and jerking myself off the rest of the way, looking down between us, lifting myself up on one arm as I came on her pussy, squeezing my tip with the palm of my hand.

"Fucking christ...that felt fucking good. That's how you fuck Liz..." I breathed, laying against her.

She smiled, running her hands through my long, messy hair.

"Thank you Shannon. It hurt at first, but it got good towards the end." She smiled.

I lifted my head up.

"You get yours yet?" I smirked.

"Get what?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Your orgasm silly."

"Uh. I don't know. I guess." Liz shrugged.

I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Oh my god. How do you not know? Have you ever played with yourself before?"

Liz pouted and shook her head. I sighed and reached over and grabbed some of the pink kleenexes off of her bed table. I threw the covers back and sat between her legs, wiping my semen off of her.

She just watched me.

"I'm gonna make you cum. I can't believe you've never fingered yourself before...I guess it's different for girls. I'll show you something guys like to do. Spread your legs." I smirked.

She willingly did what I said. I guess she didn't care anymore. I looked down at her. She was not the best kept in the world but it wasn't like it was a fuckin' disaster down there. I bit my lip as i stared at her intimate parts.

"Liz, hold your lips open for me." I ordered.

I pushed them apart, exposing her sensitive area. She reached down with both hands and held them apart.

"Like this?" She whispered.

"MMM HMM" I nodded, licking my lips and going down on her.

I had done this before with Veronica. I licked her clit with my tongue softly. I could feel her writhe beneath me.

She shifted underneath me, breathing hard. I smiled as I laid on my stomach, my lower legs in the air. I moved one of my legs up and down as I held onto Liz's hips as I licked her clit.

I was expecting it to take a while since it was her first orgasm but as soon as I started sucking it in my mouth, I felt her buck into my face.

I smirked as I heard her gasp. I kept doing what I was doing. I knew it was coming on.

"Holy fuck....oh my god!" I heard her shaky breath as she shook, moving her hips against my mouth.

I kept licking her, looking up at her with a smirk as she shook until she reached up and pushed my forehead.

I lifted off of her, smirking.

"Feel good doesn't it?" I smirked, licking my lips.

She lay there, staring up at her ceiling, breathing hard.

"That was fucking amazing Shannon...that felt so fucking good. I like that." She breathed.

"Well you need to start touching yourself. Figure out what you like so you can tell your boyfriend." I smirked at her.

"Kiss me again Shannon?" She asked.

"Sure." I smiled, moving up to the bed beside her.

We started kissing again. God she resembled Layne slightly. This was a good idea. This made me feel a little happy in my fucked up world.

We ended up going again. I didn't leave until the sun was almost coming up. I escaped out of her window again.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Liz what is it?" I asked. Her eyes were widened and she was bouncing up and down. "Oh my fucking god Shannon! Oh my fucking god it's fucking Layne! Oh my fucking god! Fuck oh my god!" She screamed.

I guess you could sort of say I was sort of, dating Layne's sister for a few weeks? I don't know. I liked her. I liked fucking her. I wasn't in love with her though. I still loved Layne. I was still in love with Layne. I just needed a void filled. She was related to Layne. Somehow in my fucked up head, I was fucking Layne through her. It was weird. We started secretly fucking almost every other day. I hadn't smoked or popped any pills in days since I started fucking Liz. I don't know what our thing was.

We just fucked.

* * *

A few weeks later

I was at Layne's house once again. No one was home but me and Liz. The plan was to fuck. Her step dad had this fucked up porno tape that she had found. We started out sitting on the couch, me naked, her in her panties. We watched it and fondled each other to get in the mood. We wanted to fuck like the people were fucking in the movie.

After the teasing, she put the movie back where she found it and we ran up to her room and she got on top of me, fucking me just like the bitch in that flick was fucking.

I was having fun. We were having fun. When I was close, I told her to get off and she smirked and watched as I jerked myself off the rest of the way, spilling the seed onto her panties that were nearby. I wiped my cock off with them and threw them across the room, making it in the clothes basket.

She giggled at me, shrugging her shoulders, her face red. She knew the routine. I was going to suck her to an orgasm. She lay there, spreading her legs and smiling at me, ready for me to take her sweet pink in my mouth, when suddenly we heard loud rock music being played outside. We looked at each other and furrowed our brows.

"What the fuck?" I asked.

She got up, going to her window and looked outside. I sat up on my elbows, furrowing my brows.

"Liz what is it?" I asked.

Her eyes were widened and she was bouncing up and down.

"Oh my fucking god Shannon! Oh my fucking god it's fucking Layne! Oh my fucking god! Fuck oh my god!" She screamed.

I heard a car door slam and I heard laughing. I sat up like lightening.

"OH my god what do we do? Oh shit fuck fuck fuck!" Liz exclaimed.

"First of all, calm the fuck down and put your fucking clothes back on! Hurry up! Fuck!"

I don't think I moved so fast in my life. I ran around, fumbling with my underwear, quickly putting my pants on, throwing my shirt on.

"Liz? Are you here!?"

We heard Layne's voice through the house. My heart melted, I hadn't heard it in so long.

Liz had on a sundress which she slipped over her head. She hopped to the door, sliding fresh panties on.

"Yes! I'm in my room Layne!" She exclaimed.

We squealed when we started hearing footsteps.

I looked around. I freaked out. I jumped on the floor and rolled under her bed, hiding under her bed, laying on my stomach. It was dusty under there. I put my hand to my mouth as I laid there.

"Fuck Shannon it smells like pussy in here!" Liz exclaimed.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little. I saw her feet running around and I could hear Layne talking.

"What are you doing in there?" His voice sounded.

Liz desperately sprayed hairspray and perfume all around her room. The footsteps were getting closer and closer. I felt the bed shift as she threw the covers back and she sat on the bed.

I looked forward from under the bed, my hand still on my mouth. I tried to breath as quiet as possible. I saw Layne's feet. Layne's boots. I nearly melted under the bed.

I loved his boots. The ones with the studs on them. Those were the ones he wore when I first met him.

"Liz what the fuck? All that fucking spray, the fuck is going on in here?" Layne choked.

I felt the bed sink again as Layne sat on the bed. I could see he and Liz's feet on the floor in front of the bed.

I wanted to fucking touch Layne's boot so fucking bad. He was so close, yet so fucking far away.

"Just trying out hairstyles and shit. I'm bored." Liz lied. "What are you doing home so early? I thought you were staying at Yanni's?" She asked.

I frowned under the bed. I was still jealous.

"Yeah, well I'm just tired and kind of homesick I guess. We've been going nonstop all summer. I think I'm just gonna take the rest of the summer off." Layne sighed.

"Yeah, 2 weeks until school starts. I can't believe it. The summer went by so fucking fast Layne. I can't believe you're gonna be a senior. You'll be out of here before I know it." Liz chuckled.

"Yeah I know. It's crazy." Layne smiled.

I smiled under the bed. There was silence and I was wondering what the fuck was going on and suddenly I heard sniffling and light sobbing.

It was Layne. Layne was fucking sobbing. I wanted to fucking reveal myself and fucking hug him. I still fucking loved him. It was fucked up.

"Layne, what is it?" I heard Liz ask sympathetically.

"It's just...I know i've been kind of a jerk to you lately. I'm sorry sis...I'm just...I feel like I have no one to talk to..." Layne cried.

I bit my lip. I always fucking hated when he cried.

"Layne...it's okay. You can talk to me. I'll listen. Talk to me Layne." Liz cooed.

I heard Layne sniffle.

"It's just, I fucked up big time. I mean. I don't know what got into me. I was so mean to Shannon..." Layne stuttered.

My heart jumped. My name was coming out of his mouth. He was still thinking about me? I kept my hand to my mouth as tight as I could.

"You were mean to Shannon?" Liz asked.

"Yes. I mean, he was being a jerk too when we broke up. I guess what I'm just trying to say is, I've fucking missed him this summer. I haven't been able to spend any time with him. Everything's so fucked up. I miss him Liz. I really messed up. I don't know where my head was. I was so mean to him when he came back from his vacation last month. I just feel guilty. I wish I could just go to his house and fucking beg for him to come back to me. I know I can't do that...it's been too long. I don't even know if he'll be home."

Layne sobbed. Meanwhile I was under the bed, tears pouring down my face as well. Layne, he wanted me back. He was thinking about me.

"How were you mean to him?" Liz asked.

"I just did stupid things. Danny's parents were fucking fighting all the time and he was bummed out and I was just trying to fucking please everybody and I guess I paid more attention to him then I did Shannon. I don't know, I guess I had my priorities mixed up. And Shannon fucking hates my hair. I could tell when he first saw me. He fucking hates it. I wish I never fucking cut it like this. I fucking let the guys talk me into doing this to my hair. Shannon kind of hinted at it. And I got pissed at him."

Layne was freaking out. I heard Liz talking to him.

"Layne, it's only hair, it grows back. It's not that bad. As long as you don't tease it up." Liz giggled.

I smiled when I heard Layne laugh lightly and sniffle.

"I fucking slept with someone else while Shannon was in Indiana. I feel like total fucking shit because of it. I guess that's another reason why I was being so fucking mean. It was weird, being with someone else besides Shannon. I was just so lonely." Layne sniffled.

 

Who Liz. Ask who. Ask who.

 

I begged in my mind.

"Who did you sleep with?" Liz asked.

"Oh my god Liz! You are so fucking nosy!" Layne laughed.

Liz giggled. "C'mon Layne, seriously, who?" Liz asked.

"Well if you must know, I really don't know her...some chick that was hanging around one of the shows. She was hot for me and I don't know, I was also kind of curious but also very lonely."

"Oh my god you went straight?" Liz exclaimed.

"Yeah, for one night. It was okay. I prefer Shannon though." Layne smiled.

"Ewwwwuuuhhhh okay too much info!" Liz exclaimed.

Her voice was different when she said that. I smirked to myself. I could tell she didn't mean it. I was fucking relieved. The rumor wasn't true. He hadn't fucked Yanni. Shit, I had talked some mad shit about the guy to myself. Fuck. Layne had fucked a chick. I didn't give a fuck about that, as long as he wasn't out fucking other dudes. That would be the shit that would fucking hurt.

"Shannon fucking hates me. I know it. He probably never wants to see me again. He'll probably slam the door in my face if I go to his house." Layne sounded like he was gonna cry again.

I blinked back tears. My nose was running. I was silent and still as can be.

"Layne...you don't know that. You don't know until you try. Why don't you just call him and talk to him?"

"I don't know. I'm scared. What if he told his mom what happened and she hates me? She might hang up on me too!" Layne was paranoid.

"So I don't know, send him a letter?" Liz replied.

"You know what, that's a good idea Liz. I think I'm gonna do that!" Layne smiled.

"I think everything's gonna work out Layne. I really do. You and Shannon are perfect together. He's a really cool guy and I miss busting your balls in front of him. So you need to get him back." Liz smiled.

"Thanks sis. Hey, wanna go get a pizza or something? I'm starving. Something seems different about you sis, I can't quite put my finger on it. Something's definitely different about you."

My eyes widened. Liz giggled nervously.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm still me..." Liz smiled.

Layne suddenly got up and then Liz. I saw their feet leave out the door and the door closed behind them. I rolled out from under the bed, whipped the window opened, frantically closed it from outside and I bolted down the side of the house and down the street, and out of the neighborhood as fast as I could.

When I was halfway home, I stopped running to catch my breath. I stood there, breathing hard, thinking to myself.

Layne fucking missed me. Layne's cheating wasn't that serious. Not to me anyway. He just fucked some chick. I didn't care about that. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. Layne fucking wanted me back. I felt sad about the summer too. It was a shitty summer, no offense to Layne's sister. But it would have been perfect if I could have been with Layne.

There were so many ups and downs in my teenage life. Maybe all the fucking drama had fucking ended finally. Maybe things were finally going to be okay.

* * *

After that day, me and Liz stopped fucking. We never officially broke it off, but we both knew. She knew I was still in love with Layne. She knew we couldn't do this anymore since Layne and I were most likely getting back together. I had fun with her. I liked showing her what felt good and how to have fun. It had to end. Layne was my main love. I loved him and I waited patiently for him to come back to me.


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I saw the way it was folded, I knew exactly what it was. It was from Layne. Layne always folded his notes this way.

I lay on my bed writing in my notebook. I had the notebook halfway full of these poems. I didn't know what the fuck I was gonna do with all this shit. I just felt the need to keep writing these thoughts and feelings I had in my head. I would put them into words on the paper in my notebook.

I bit my lip as I scribbled another poem down. The words just came to me naturally, flowing out of my pen and onto the paper.

__  
All that I need is the air that I breathe  
And all that I need are things I don't need  
And all that really matters is what matters to me  
And who of you are like me 

_If I was to smile and I held out my hand_  
If I opened it now would you not understand  
Because you know if I'm to benefit I'll do everything that I can  
And who of you are like me 

_It will make you feel good, over my shoulder_  
It'll get me down and got me tied up  
'Till I grow older, but feel me inside of you  
Like you want it to 

_But is it just the pains in your head_  
That are thrilling me  
Another life's falling down onto it's knees  
But I'll never smile the way, that I did like that day 

_Everything will be okay_  
It'll be okay  


I sighed when I finished, laying back on the bed and reading what I wrote. I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called.

It was mom.

"Shannon honey, you got some mail today. You doing okay today honey?" Mom asked.

"Yeah. I'm good mom." I smiled at her.

She tossed an envelope my way and I caught it with both of my hands.

"School starts in a few days honey. Are you nervous? You're senior year. I can't believe your almost 18 honey. It seems like yesterday you were just my baby boy...."

"Moohoom..." I sighed.

She always got to reminiscing and then she started crying.

"Right. Shannon you really need to take this year and figure out what you want to do with yourself honey. Do you want to go to college, do you want to work. You need to figure it out so you'll be prepared honey. You don't want to just be thrust out into the real world and not know which direction to turn sweetie."

"I know mom. I know." I sighed.

"I'll leave you alone now honey. Love you."

"Love you too mom." I smiled.

As soon as she closed the door, I looked down at the envelope in my hands. There was no return address on it. My name and my address was scribbled on it. I furrowed my brows. I turned it over and opened it and took the folded piece of paper out.

As soon as I saw the way it was folded, I knew exactly what it was. It was from Layne. Layne always folded his notes this way. He was so scary. He didn't put his name and return address on the letter.

I slowly unfolded it and set it down on top of my notebook, trying to get the crinkles out. I picked the letter up and began to read it.

_  
Shannon,_

_I'm not sure if you hate me or not. I hope you don't. I just wanted to tell you that I still fucking love you. I'm sorry I don't have the balls to call you. I know how close you are to your mother...I don't know exactly what you've told her and I don't want to get cursed out or something._

_Shannon I am so fucking sorry for the way I treated you. Things were so fucked up this Summer. You were gone for a month and then we couldn't talk on the phone and I was just so lonely and confused._

_Yes I had sex with someone else. It's not what you think. I just sort of slept with this girl...it was weird for me, I've never slept with a girl before. Shannon I could never lay down with another man. You have to understand how lonely I was. I needed something. I fucked her like she was a guy. I was desperate. She meant nothing to me. Not like you mean to me._

_And I guess that was just weighing on me, I was feeling guilty. I was also trying to please everyone when you came back. Danny's parents got a divorce Shannon. He was so fucked up over it. I know I should have explained it to you. I shouldn't have brought him along during our first date after you came back from Indiana. I realize now how fucked up that was. How you must have felt. If you would have done something like that, I would have felt pissed as well. I'm so sorry babe. I'm sorry I was mean to you._

_Your comments about my appearance were kind of hurtful though Shannon. I mean the way you accused me of thinking I was better than you, accusing me of pretty much being a sellout. Me and the guys were trying to figure out ways to make our show look more wild and we did each other's hair one day._

_I think we both said some mean things to each other. I just know that I fucking miss you and everything I said and did, I'm sorry. I should have put you first Shannon._

_I'm sorry I was so mean to you. Please call me when you get this. I just want to hear your voice. Just call me Shannon. I still love you. I swear I thought about you everyday after I fucking broke up with you. I hate myself for breaking up with you._

_I never want to fight with you ever again. I'm so sorry for everything Shannon. I swear I am._

_Love,_

_Layne Staley  
_

I bit my lip. I sighed. This was the note I had been waiting for. It all came back to me now. Layne was gonna send me a note. I had overheard when I was hiding under Liz's bed. I fucking wanted him back too. Fuck all this bullshit. I fucking needed him in my life.

* * *

"Layne?" I asked into the phone.

"Shannon?" His voice was smooth.

"Hey..." I said softly.

"Hey." He replied.

We were silent and then we both laughed at the same time.

"I got your letter Layne." I said softly.

"Really? Good..." Layne sighed into the phone.

"Um. I read it too." I said softly.

"Okay. And?" Layne asked slowly.

"Listen Layne. I'm so sorry for making you feel like I didn't like the way you looked. I fucking love you. You listening to me?" I asked.

"Uh huh. Continue." I heard Layne on the other end.

I chuckled to myself.

"I love your hair. You're so hot. I know you were wearing all the make up and shit because you're a rockstar and whatever. I guess, I guess I was just sort of jealous of you in a way. Layne you got it all figured out babe. You know what you wanna do. You're having fun and shit. You're in a band. You got friends outside of me. I guess, I guess deep down I was just jealous.

I'm fucking sorry babe for everything I said too. I-"

"Shannon. Let's fucking forget about that stupid fight. Let's just fucking move past this. What do you think?" Layne asked.

"I'm willing to if you are." I smirked.

"Good. I wanna see you so fucking bad Shannon. God I wanna see you." Layne said desperately into the phone.

"Your place or mines?" I asked.

"Your mom home?" Layne asked.

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Come over here." Layne smirked.

"I'll be over in a few minutes."

* * *

Layne's hair was yellow and curly. He was wearing the necklace and the bracelet I had gotten him. We were tangled together, against that beanbag, in that cramped room for privacy, grinding like there was no tomorrow.

His kisses made me shiver. I missed his lips. Those perfect pouty lips that fit so well against mine. He quickly turned over and I quickly prepared him. He looked back at me as I pushed into him.

My heart melted when I heard those familiar moans. We belonged together. I had fucking missed this, our passion. We were so good together. We fit together like a puzzle. He complemented me. We were no good apart.

My whole body was on fire as I made love to him. We were back on. We had made up. Shit was in the past.

When I finished, he turned around, laying against that beanbag. I was on my knees, I leaned down, taking him in my mouth to finish him off.

I hadn't tasted him in so long, I was desperate. We were hot, we were sweaty and it didn't take long for him to release into my mouth.

I missed his taste. The taste of a man. That was what I truly loved. I loved Layne.

We lay together against the beanbag, wrapped up together like a pretzel as we stared at each other.

"Shannon, I love you Shannon..." Layne said softly, eyes the brightest blue.

"I love you too Layne. You're so perfect." I smiled.

He blushed. I could still make him blush. I leaned forward and we kissed passionately.


	14. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew we couldn't last forever.

Senior year started and Layne and I were back together. That was a smooth year. Everyone was getting ready to go their separate ways. Kids were filling out college applications and making plans of things to do out of high school.

Layne was going to play music. Layne was serious about music. So serious that his band didn't stop going through senior year. I finally got to see Layne perform. He was great on stage, the way he moved around, in his outfits, the make up on his face. I was so proud of him.

I knew we couldn't last forever. I knew eventually we would drift apart. I had a great year with Layne that year. We were so in love.

We were just fucking kids though. We had dreams, but when push came to shove, when the end of the year came around and reality hit, we knew we couldn't live our fucking dreams. The party was over, our parents would not support us anymore. We had to start making money on our own.

You can't live together if you have no money.

I fucking gave in. All the bullshit I talked about not wanting to work a job. I fucking got a job. I fucking had to. I couldn't just sit at home all day. I was working in a fucking factory. 8 hours a fucking day.

Any time I had off, I'd spend it with Layne as much as I could. Layne was always busy. After high school, Layne had moved out of his parent's house to this place called Music Bank.

It was a place in Seattle where lots of bands were formed and people played music. It was a pretty cool place. But I could see how I was holding Layne back.

Layne would feel so guilty when he would have to give up time with me because of his band commitments. He wanted to make it so bad. I felt like I was a burden on him. I didn't want him to give up his dreams because of me.

So yeah, I broke up with him. I had to. I couldn't have him resenting me years later if he didn't make it because of me. I could see it now, he would be a diy musician forever, playing shitty bars and I would be stuck in the factory, paycheck to paycheck. We would barely be getting by. Layne would fucking hate me.

No it wasn't gonna work like that. I wasn't gonna let that happen. I loved Layne too much to let that happen.

Our time was precious together. I was busy with my stupid job, he was busy with his music. I knew it was time to let him go. I had to let him go so he could spread his wings and fly. I only wanted the best for him.

He was so upset when I told him. I told him we had to just be friends. We couldn't be together anymore. I told him why. He insisted that we could work. We both knew deep down that it couldn't work. Layne was just beginning his career. He wouldn't have time for me. He would be going off and doing extravagant things. I just couldn't burden him anymore.

He still called me after that, every night. He just wanted to hear my voice. You know how that goes. Eventually the phone calls started to spread out. Once a week, a few times a month, every few months, and eventually never.

I lost touch with Layne. I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. I was in my own little world. He was in his own little world. That shit happens though man. People grow apart. That shit hurts, but that's just the way it is.

I thought about him every now and then. I wondered how he was faring out in this big world. I wondered if he still thought about me. I just hoped wherever he was, he was okay and he was happy.

* * *

The first few years out of high school, I just went to work and stayed at home with my mom, doing all the fucking life shit I'm supposed to do. Save up money, get a fucking car, help pay bills. The same old stupid shit. You can say you are going to do one thing but when reality hits you have to fucking do what you don't wanna do.

I was smoking pot alot. I was older so I had my own bong. I knew my mom probably knew I was smoking but I was a fucking adult. There was nothing she could do to stop me.

I was in my rut until I met this guy at work, Christopher Thorne. We got to talking. We talked about music. He was so interesting to me. One day he invited me to hang out with him. I was really scared. At that point I hadn't been out in nearly 2 years. I was used to just working and going home and getting high.

I went to his place though and we hung out and turned out he was a guitar player. He convinced me to buy a guitar. I bought an acoustic guitar and he taught me how to play. We were just fucking around together and jamming at first.

I wasn't really serious until one day I was over his house and we were listening to the radio. I remember it like it was yesterday. He had to go to the bathroom so he left out of the room. I was fumbling around with the radio and a good song was on the radio.

I trusted him so naturally I started to sing, rather loudly.

I remember the song I sang. Jane's Addiction "Jane Says." I was into it, bobbing my head, eyes closed, belting out the lyrics with Perry and I didn't know that Chris was standing in the doorway watching me the entire time.

I was startled as all hell after the song went off and Chris spoke. He told me I was good at singing. He wanted me to sing for him. So I sang acapella for him.

I remember we stayed up all night. I never thought I had a singing voice but when I sang for Chris, his eyes lit up. We stayed up all night and I sang for him.

Eventually things were getting serious. We couldn't wait to get out of work to fuck around on our guitars. Eventually I moved in with him so we could focus on music.

I had never showed anyone my notebook. No one, not even Layne. I remember showing it to Chris. I was nervous as he read over the poems I had written. They were very personal and my face was hot as he read over them.

He fucking loved them. He told me I had a gift, a gift to put words together. He wanted to make a song out of a really really personal poem. "Ever Had The Feeling."

I was so embarrassed as Chris came up with the riff that I had to sit with my back facing him as I sang it. He had a tape recorder. We played it over and over until we felt it was perfect. He recorded us playing.

I remember the first time I heard my voice played back to me. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I really did sound good. People usually hate when their voice is played back to them but I was intrigued. I had a hidden talent all along and it just took someone like Chris to get it out of me.

After that, the ball got rolling. We "shopped" around for other musicians.

It all seemed like it had happened so fast. The band got together. Me and Chris had to quit our jobs so we could focus on the band. We were scraping by, making money where ever we could. We all meshed together well.

Before I knew it, I was a lead singer in a band. It was so surreal. A few years earlier, and I had never imagined that I would be doing anything...let alone this.

I had found my calling in the game of life. I was pretty happy. We were so good that it wasn't long after we got together that we had gotten signed. We had made a 5 track demo and it had fallen into the right hands.

It was at a time where the music industry was thirsty for new bands. That's why I think we got signed so quickly.

Then once we got signed, the pleura of new experiences flowed in. We were given money. We were in a studio. We were recording an album.

Me and Brad wrote songs together. I had a few songs about things from the past that made the album such as "Dear Ol' Dad", "Tones of Home", "I Wonder", and "Deserted."

The album was out and we had been shipped out on tour before we knew it. Life was just great.


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I looked over to see the other member of the band leaned against the wall. He was a tall fellow. He was pale. His hair was slicked back perfectly. He had shades covering his eyes. He seemed really quiet and mysterious.

_  
5 Years Later_

_1993  
_

Here we were, nearly a year after we had gotten signed. My band, Blind Melon. We had a self titled debut album out. It was doing pretty good, but it wasn't living up to the expectations of the record company yet. They were getting ready to release another single from the album to get it going, a song that Brad, our bassist had wrote, called "No Rain." We had already shot the video and were just waiting for it to be put together.

We were still touring, trying to gather a following. We were opening up for anyone and everyone. This time we were on the road with a band called "Alice in Chains" who were apparently doing really good. We were so busy with our band we didn't keep up with current trends. We were more focused on trying to sell ourselves.

So here we sat at a venue, sitting around a dressing room. We were still driving around in our shitty van. We had no bus to wait in. Our management was working on finding us a decently priced hotel. We were still penny pinching on this tour. This fucking single better fucking take off. We all had been working so hard.

We were all sitting around, strumming on acoustic guitars. There was a table full of food nearby. We were jamming to something that I had been working on when suddenly the door opened and these guys filed in. We continued playing and the guys glanced back and I glanced over. Two of them came up to us, smiling and bobbing their head and one sat on the couch and grabbed the phone that was in there and there was one more guy who walked over to the table where the food was and started looking it over.

Once we finished the song, the two guys who were standing over us clapped their hands.

"Hey man, you guys are fucking awesome man! Hey how you guys doing, I'm Jerry Cantrell. Guitarist for Alice in Chains, this is our bassist, Mike Starr."

He shook all of our hands. He seemed like a nice guy. We started conversing and before I knew it, everyone was split up into little groups. Drummers with drummers, guitarists with guitarists, bassists with bassists.

I looked over to see the other member of the band leaned against the wall. He was a tall fellow. He was pale. His hair was slicked back perfectly. He had shades covering his eyes. He seemed really quiet and mysterious. He stood against the wall, holding what appeared to be folded up sandwich meat, quietly biting it and chewing it. I looked back around at everyone else talking. I sighed.

I stood up, going over to the table. I put my hair behind my ears and smiled a little. I looked over the food that sat on the table. I glanced over at the mysterious Alice in Chains man leaned against the wall and smiled, glancing over for a few seconds. He gently smiled back at me, biting on his cold cut. I pursed my lips, grabbing the same thing he had, the ham and folded it up and started eating it, not looking at him.

"Ham's pretty good huh?" I smiled softly, eating mines the same way he was eating his.

He reminded me of someone. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Yeah." His voice came out slow and deep.

I smiled. His silence was intimidating. I stood there, eating the ham and then licked my fingers, wiping them on my pants. I turned around and looked at him. His brows were furrowed under his shades and he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He was just about to light it when I looked at him.

I smiled warmly at him. I couldn't tell what his eyes were doing under those shades. He had gotten still, holding the lighter to the cigarette, his mouth slightly open, the cigarette dangling out of it.

I held my hand out.

"I'm Shannon Hoon, lead singer of Blind Melon. What's your name? I assume your the singer?" I smiled, trying to make a new friend.

He slowly shook my hand and pulled his hand away, pulling the cigarette from his mouth, putting it back in the carton and putting his cigarettes up. He did this without ever moving his face. I stood there smiling awkwardly, wondering just what the hell he was thinking. He was starting to freak me out.

"I'm sorry, you said your name was Shannon?" He said again, softly.

"Uh. Yeah, kind of a weird name for a guy, I know." I laughed awkwardly.

I watched his face. His eyes were shielded, I couldn't figure him out. It felt like he was studying me or something. I furrowed my brow slightly. His lips were pursed.

"Hey can you follow me right quick?" He asked softly.

I furrowed my brows. I was confused.

"Uh...where are we going?" I asked.

He hadn't even told me his name. What the fuck?

"Please Shannon...just come with me." He begged.

I was curious. I nodded.

"Alright. Alright, I'll go with you." I replied.

He started walking and I walked behind him. We walked out of the dressing room. I stared at the back of his head as I followed him through the venue. His hair curled up behind his neck. I smiled to myself.

"Hey what'd you say your name was?" I asked as we rounded a corner.

I wondered what this was about. Did he want to get high or something? We stopped in a hallway. It was very quiet. He stood against the wall. I furrowed my brows and I stood beside him.

"Um..." I stuttered.

This was really weird. He reached his hands up. I saw him hesitate. He slowly removed his shades, blinking and looking over at me.

I looked at him, brows furrowed.

"Shannon do you remember me?" He asked, looking at me with furrowed brows.

I stared at him, right into his eyes for a few seconds, I studied his face. I scratched my head. I honestly didn't. So many things were going on in my life that I just couldn't think right then. I had a brain fart.

"Um...I don't know...do I know you?" I asked, brows furrowed.

He sighed and leaned back against the wall. He looked sad. He looked away as he spoke.

"It's me, Layne. Layne Staley. Remember me? We only used to date back in school..." He muttered.

I stood there, processing this. Layne. This was Layne? No fucking way. I hadn't thought of Layne in a couple of years. We had lost touch. It was as if he had fell off the face of the earth.

He looked back at me and I stared into his eyes. Those eyes...this was Layne. Holy fuck. Layne fucking Staley. He looked so different. My mouth hung open as I stared at him. He was so different than the last time I saw him.

His hair was shorter, he had a goatee...he had 5 o'clock shadow on his face. He looked...manly. Back then Layne tended to be more feminine.

"Layne..." I said softly as we stared at each other.

He smiled at me. I swear I felt a warmth in my chest when he smiled at me. I familiar warmth that I hadn't felt in years.

"It's me Shannon. It's me...god you look so good. It's been what, nearly 4 years?" He asked softly.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, blushing as we stared at each other.

"You got your ears pierced..." Layne smiled, reaching up and flicking one of my hoops that were through my ear.

"Yeah, yeah I did." I blushed.

He reached out and tugged on my hair. "Look at your hair Shannon...it's so long, I don't think it's ever been that long. You've got tattoos now. That's fucking cool Shannon. You look so different..."

I smiled at Layne and blushed. He seemed different as well. He seemed more mellow, more mature. He was really bubbly and upbeat last time we talked.

I reached up and scratched his goatee.

"Look at you Layne, with facial hair...I can't believe how different you look...christ you couldn't even grow any hair on your face back then." I smiled at him.

He blushed and laughed lightly. We stood there silently for a second. I stared at the ground and then I heard a light sniffle. I looked up to see tears pooling in Layne's eyes. I furrowed my brows as he pursed his lips together and the tears fell down his face and into his goatee.

He sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"What's wrong Layne?" I asked, brows furrowed.

I felt a familiar pain in my chest.

"Can I hug you?" He asked softly.

"Of course you can hug me." I smiled warmly at him.

He stepped up to me and grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my hair. I held onto him as well. He smelled good, like cologne.

"It's so good to fucking see you Shannon..." Layne's voice quivered as we embraced.

He held onto me for dear life. I felt a lump in my throat as well. I couldn't believe seeing me again for the first time in years had sent him into this wave of emotion. I could feel him purposely pressing his nose into my hair. I felt good in his embrace. I didn't want to let him go.

He pulled away, his arms still wrapped around me.

"I can't believe this is you Shannon. I heard you singing when I first came in the dressing room. I can't believe you are here. You never sang around me Shannon...I had no idea you wanted to be in a band. I don't get it...this is just blowing my mind right now...you look so damn good." Layne smiled, sniffling.

"I don't know, I kind of got a late start Layne. We've only been together for a year and a half. Shit has moved really fast. And I know, this is too freaky how we're opening up for your band of all bands...Wow, what happened to Sleaze?"

I was curious. Layne sniffled and smiled.

"I moved on. They weren't going anywhere, times were changing and I met Jerry, my guitarist and we meshed well together and I started a band with him and now here I am. Our album's number 1." Layne smiled.

"That's fucking rad Layne...I'm so happy for you. You deserve it. You're so talented. The record company has already released two singles from my band's album but they just haven't taken off yet. Shit is really rocky right now, we just made a video for another song. They say their gonna try one more single and if it doesn't take off, they might drop us." I said sadly.

I looked down, pouting. If that shit happened, all the hard work we did, it would be all for nothing. I felt a hand slide under my chin and pull it up.

"Hey. Don't you worry Shannon. Even if it doesn't never give up. Fucking put yourselves out there. Keep playing." Layne smiled at me.

I could only muster a smile back at him. I didn't even want to think about it. He smiled and hugged me again, squeezing tight.

"How have you been? Do you have a boyfriend?" Layne asked, sniffling and pulling away.

I smiled at him, squeezing his arm.

"I've been really good Layne. Life is good, almost good. And no, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not seeing anyone...I'm too busy, it wouldn't be fair to the other person. I'd never be around." I smiled.

I had deja vu. I smiled at Layne.

"Oh. I'm not seeing anyone either. I mean, I was but it didn't work out. I'm convinced there's no one out there for me." Layne sniffled, tears falling again as he looked down.

"Aw Layne, don't say that about yourself, I'm sure there's someone out there." I smiled, trying to console him.

"It's just hard, when you got a lot of money...it's hard to tell who really likes you and who just wants you for the money. I've been used so much Shannon." Layne almost whispered.

I furrowed my brows, rubbing his back and nodding.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. You're a nice person Layne, whoever did that to you is a fucking asshole. I'm sorry." I smiled softly.

"I was doing drugs Shannon. I was shooting heroine..." Layne whispered to me.

I gasped. Holy shit. Layne had obviously been through some shit over the past year. I didn't know what to say. Heroine? That was the hard shit.

"But I just got out of rehab before this tour...I fucked up last year. We were supposed to go on tour but I was sick...I fucked everything up Shannon. Shannon I'm so lonely..." Layne admitted, tears falling.

I felt sorry for him. I thought he would be happy since he had made it big now but he seemed to be miserable.

"I'm here for you Layne. I care about you. You can always talk to me." I consoled him.

He smiled and nodded, wiping his eyes again.

"Where are you living now?" He asked softly.

"No where really. Me and the band, we just go where ever we're needed. We move around a lot." I chuckled.

"Oh. I'm still in Seattle. I bought a house there. I'm never home." Layne smiled softly.

"That's really nice Layne." I smiled at him.

Suddenly Layne grabbed my shirt and leaned close to me. I was taken aback.

"Shannon...you were the best thing I ever had. I was just thinking about you last week...I swear, before we set off for this tour. I still have our letters, pictures...things you gave me...I still have it all at my house in a box. I took it out and I looked at it. Shannon I can't believe you are here in the flesh. I thought I'd lost touch with you forever."

He let me go. I furrowed my brows and rubbed my shirt.

"Shannon look at this, do you remember this?" He asked, pulling his sleeve up.

He was wearing a white gold chain bracelet. The bracelet that I had given him years ago. Now it was my turn to get choked up.

"You...you still have that?" I asked softly, touching it.

"Yes...I still have the necklace too but it's at home Shannon...this bracelet, I feel like it brings me good luck. I haven't worn it in years...and I put it on again and here you are..." Layne smiled softly.

"Layne..." I mumbled, putting my fist to my mouth, trying to hold back tears.

I couldn't believe he still had the jewelry I gave to him. He apparently had loads of money but he still wanted to wear the little cheap shit that I had given him way back when.

"Those two years Shannon, that was the best relationship of my life. Shannon I wish we never drifted apart. I've really missed you. This still blows my mind. I can't believe you're standing right here in front of me babe..." Layne smiled.

"It was the best for me too." I smiled softly.

"Let me kiss you babe...please..." Layne whispered softly.

I smiled at Layne.

"Layne...c'mon..." I replied, looking away.

"I'm sorry. I just...Shannon this is crazy I know it...but I mean, I feel like this is fate that we crossed paths again. I don't want to lose you again. Please Shannon come back to me..." Layne begged.

I looked at him, brows furrowed. My chest felt heavy.

"I just told you that I wasn't in a relationship with anyone because I'm never around. The band is really busy right now Layne..." I replied softly.

I looked at him to see the tears falling out of his eyes again.

"Please Shannon...I'll do anything...we can make this work I swear. I can't lose you again. I need you Shannon. You're the only person who matters to me. I know it sounds crazy. We've found each other again and I can't lose you again. I don't want anyone else but you. Please I need you."

"Layne...when this tour's over, we're opening up for other people on different tours. We'll never see each other. It won't be fair." I sighed.

"I'll get one of those brick phones. You know? You'll have a way to call me. We'll talk everyday until we can be home together. Move your stuff in my place. Shannon I'm not losing you again...You don't understand how much I need you..." Layne pleaded.

I sighed.

"Layne, I don't even know you anymore, and I'm sure I have changed too. You still do this shit, move too fast..." I chuckled a little.

"So let's get to know each other again. Shannon c'mon...I'm so lonely. I want you back. We were so good together. We still could be. Please don't be scared Shannon..."

I stood there, watching Layne. Poor Layne, the tears streaming down his face. I put my hair behind my ears, and ran my hand across my lips. I shoved him against the wall and leaned in, pressing my lips to his.

I just fucking did it. We kissed hungrily, hands roaming. All the memories came flowing back into my brain. His lips still felt the same way I remembered. He smiled into the kiss. I pulled away, out of breath and staring at him. I reached up and wiped his tears away.

"I'm here Layne. Alright. We'll do this. You're right...I'm sorry. I'm just scared. This is so freaky how we've crossed paths again. If that's not a sign that we're supposed to be together, I don't know what is..." I smiled.

Layne was smiling wide. He wrapped his arms around me and we embraced tight.

* * *

I was half sleep in the hotel bed beside Layne. I smiled and cuddled up to him. I heard him flip the tv on to MTV. I sighed and smiled as I listened to the sound of the music from the tv. Some Faith No More song was playing and I heard Layne singing the words to himself lightly.

I smiled and pressed my lips to his neck, eyes still closed, making him jump.

"Fuck Shanny, you awake?" He smiled.

"Barely..." I said groggily.

Layne continued singing the song and then the video went off. Suddenly I heard a familiar guitar chord begin to play. I felt Layne perk up in the bed.

"Their playing it again..." I sighed, slowly opening my eyes to see Layne staring at the tv and smiling, snapping his fingers to the beat.

"Yeah Shanny, they play it like every fucking hour. Look at you, you're so hot in this! That's my boyfriend!" Layne exclaimed proudly.

I laid back in bed and threw my arm back, watching the TV as Layne began to belt out the lyrics to "No Rain."

The single had taken off unexpectedly. Everybody fucking loved it, it was everywhere. Plans for tours had changed. We finished opening up for Alice in Chains and now we were gonna be headlining, but first the record company was sending us on the Lollapalooza tour. Here I was with Layne again, in a hotel room, laid up together.

Layne bounced up and down in the bed, moving his hands back and forth as he sang No Rain. I looked at him and sighed and shook my head.

Layne turned over facing me toward the end of the song and kissed me.

"I'm so proud of you Shanny. This is so great. I love you babe." He smiled.

"Love you too." I smirked.

Suddenly as we were kissing, and the No Rain video went off, Alice in Chains "Would?" came on. Layne pulled away and smirked, looking back at the tv. He smirked down at me.

"See Shanny? I knew it, we were meant to be together." Layne smiled.

I smirked at him and he kissed down my body, dissapearing under the covers.

* * *

After being apart for nearly 5 years, me and Layne had found each other again. It was at a crucial time in both of our lives. My band had just found some success and Layne was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. We complimented each other. He helped me along the way so I wouldn't be used like he had been, and I helped pull him out of his depression.

I had been through so much shit in my life and now I finally felt like I was through with all the bad shit and things were finally good again.

Our bands were on tour together for a while and then my band had to go off headline a tour for our album. Me and Layne kept in touch everyday. Things fell into place this time. We both made efforts to make this work this time. We needed each other.

After all the tour cycles were over I came back to Seattle to live with Layne. I would have never imagined our lives would be so perfect. Layne reintroduced me to his family. His mom had forgotten who I was. That was understandable. It was different this time because she knew her son wasn't straight. Liz didn't forget me. Layne never found out about us and there was no need for him ever to. That shit was years ago now. Water under the bridge. Liz was so confident. She was out of college and was dating someone and she had a nice job. I was so proud of her. She was ecstatic to learn that me and Layne were back together.

Shortly after moving in, me and Layne got married and all of that good shit. Why not? We knew we were never going to want to be with anyone else.

I was happy. I was really fucking happy. Like fucking fairytale love story happy.


End file.
